Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 62 Days and 77460 Haiku later...

so where is moxie?
chaos is so essential
to any system.
Haiku # 18590, February 14, 2002 7:21 pm ET
by ap
california
telecommunications
illumination
Haiku # 18589, February 14, 2002 7:18 pm ET
by ap - There's better out there. who's next?
okay, now class starts
no more clicking and scrolling?
not blatantly, then.
Haiku # 18588, February 14, 2002 6:08 pm ET
by sheena
inevitably,
establishmentarians
deteriorate
Haiku # 18587, February 14, 2002 5:31 pm ET
by scott (don't worry, janis, i'm harmless)
shall i compare thee to a summer's day?
(oh no, Mister Bill wrote that one before.
the bard wrote love sonnets without much pay -
although perhaps they helped the dude to score)
Haiku # 18586, February 14, 2002 4:47 pm ET
by scott (part #1)
cupid struck me with a poison arrow
i'm cursed to love someone who doesn't care
a sweet venom courses through my marrow
(it could be sucked out, but i won't go there)
Haiku # 18585, February 14, 2002 4:47 pm ET
by scott (part #2)
janis: this is a bad sonnet, it's true
will you forgive me on saint valentine's?
my love for you is too grand for haiku
all i can do is drink and stretch my rhymes
Haiku # 18584, February 14, 2002 4:47 pm ET
by scott (part #3)
with tongue in cheek, i hope you hear this plea:
iambic yours for all eternity
Haiku # 18583, February 14, 2002 4:47 pm ET
by scott (part #4)
Elvis:
grandiosity
template?
Haiku # 18582, February 14, 2002 4:42 pm ET
by Nick Numb
I think that's my first
3 word compliant haiku
I challenge you all!
Haiku # 18581, February 14, 2002 4:13 pm ET
by Janis
curiosity:
irresponsibility
accelerator.
Haiku # 18580, February 14, 2002 3:58 pm ET
by Janis
.....well, well, now they can
clone pussies....trying hard to think
of something witty......
Haiku # 18579, February 14, 2002 3:25 pm ET
by dinky sweat.....
my winter event
"the lounge" reclining, no race
canadian sport
Haiku # 18578, February 13, 2002 9:42 pm ET
by ap
janis your cousin
made that last goal happen,
oh-oh fight! fight!
Haiku # 18577, February 13, 2002 2:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
did you see the dutch
speedskater with the stiffy?
cost him a false start.

too much movement
at the start of that race, plus
one eagle-eyed judge
Haiku # 18576, February 13, 2002 1:46 pm ET
by oohhh speaking of sex in the Olympics
I hear one luge
person calls her sled the
"sybian", good vibes?

Bumpy ride must be
as good as knobby tires
on a mountain bike
Haiku # 18575, February 13, 2002 1:40 pm ET
by oohhh no wonder they are smiling
Yeah! Janis it's on
here now.... Goyette just scored
Canada's second goal
Haiku # 18574, February 13, 2002 1:33 pm ET
by Nick Numb
Today my cousin
Plays hockey for the country.
Canada / Russia
Haiku # 18573, February 13, 2002 12:46 pm ET
by Janis
I have to admit
My only Olympic dream:
An olympic high
Haiku # 18572, February 13, 2002 12:40 pm ET
by Janis
Laying on the couch...
It is just me practicing
For the Luge event
Haiku # 18571, February 13, 2002 12:39 pm ET
by Janis
when I rule the world
things would be a lot better
than if you ruled it
Haiku # 18570, February 13, 2002 9:47 am ET
by mellie
when i rule the world
things will be a lot better
at least for my friends
Haiku # 18569, February 13, 2002 8:27 am ET
by ash
a total snow job
judges skating on thin ice
and canada's piste
Haiku # 18568, February 13, 2002 8:25 am ET
by ash
canadians win
the gold? No, it don't look good.
yeah, the russians sucked.
Haiku # 18567, February 13, 2002 6:21 am ET
by k of we should just take over canado while we're at it
made me cry
they skated so well
should have won gold.
Haiku # 18566, February 13, 2002 5:23 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
a lone firewall stands
ablaze, seperating you
and empyrean peace

Hear that distant cry?*
It was a summons by you
to raise Bog's demon.

*echoing like a bell in your head
[tisk, tisk, look what you've done now]
Haiku # 18565, February 12, 2002 4:20 pm ET
by ComiCat of Jerzey

......i made it guys, yeah
looks like i gotta wear shades
.....my figtures too bright
Haiku # 18564, February 12, 2002 10:49 am ET
by ronin@hi.kenjoyingyourtour...withsomeone
Clicking on my mouse
I see many clever posts
It smells of cheese here.
Haiku # 18563, February 11, 2002 11:54 pm ET
by VeLvEt PuNk of North Dallas
I don't give a fuck
DH Lawrence can suck eggs
Now I suck mangoes

Hot sweet juicy smooth
dripping down my chinny-chin
blissfully tasty
Haiku # 18562, February 11, 2002 7:24 am ET
by mellie
i don't give a fig
it looks like a clam to me
fuck d h lawrence
Haiku # 18561, February 11, 2002 2:37 am ET
by ash
yeah norma and
glenda were such ballbreakers
if memory serves

you would think all the
fig-slurping would have improved
their mood, some people!
Haiku # 18560, February 11, 2002 2:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
windswept limbs groaning
big low cumuli charging
southerly buster
Haiku # 18559, February 11, 2002 1:24 am ET
by ash
Sexy Olympic
sport, woman's speed skating or
camel-toes on ice. :P
Haiku # 18558, February 10, 2002 5:08 pm ET
by fig-slurper
eat my warm fig then
the way Alan Bates showed how
in Women in Love
Haiku # 18557, February 10, 2002 5:32 am ET
by mellie
lets lube up rusty
Beth, she mentioned assault, ok
I'm calling firstys
Haiku # 18556, February 9, 2002 8:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
what if GM had
not invented george bush? would
we still feel embarrassed?
Haiku # 18555, February 9, 2002 8:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
At least I will spare
eyes from evil images;
words assault enough.
Haiku # 18554, February 9, 2002 7:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The regulars will
probably flame me for my
poor contribution.
Haiku # 18553, February 9, 2002 7:47 pm ET
by Rustybeth
Lurking voyeur reads;
Finally posts a poem
on the Internet.
Haiku # 18552, February 9, 2002 7:44 pm ET
by Rustybeth
Give me bad haiku!
I need that whine and grinding
brain feedback loop fuzz.
Haiku # 18551, February 9, 2002 7:42 pm ET
by Rustybeth of Turn on the damn heater!
Bad haiku exists
to torment the reader's mind.
No enlightement.
Haiku # 18550, February 9, 2002 7:40 pm ET
by Rustybeth of Freezing in summer, Melbourne
eat figs like D. H.
Lawrence, he said a woman
should be eaten so

split open and
with your tongue burrow, furrow
right up to the top

repeat until done
Haiku # 18549, February 9, 2002 3:44 pm ET
by randy
I've gone cold on sport
I just want to eat warm figs
Figs warmed by the sun
Haiku # 18548, February 9, 2002 8:14 am ET
by mellie
new olympic sport,
pantsless figureskating, now
that would draw a crowd
Haiku # 18547, February 9, 2002 2:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
the Olympiad
yah right, the gold metal is
not even real gold!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 18546, February 9, 2002 2:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
......aunts are jars full of
fond memories and sunshine
.....filled with tender love
Haiku # 18545, February 8, 2002 9:37 pm ET
by ronin@abelatedeulogy
legions of homeless
show up to protest, but are
shunned by cameras

are they just too slow?
should they die faster? a new
Olympic test sport?
Haiku # 18544, February 8, 2002 8:27 pm ET
by America the ridiculous chaos gets a gold medal
Olympic agents
moving fast to cover those
slow poke athletes

FBI people
trained to do the mile in
under 4:50
Haiku # 18543, February 8, 2002 8:22 pm ET
by America the ridiculous chaos gets a gold medal
I kill all ravers
"mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh"
Shut it, raver scum
Haiku # 18542, February 8, 2002 4:58 pm ET
by beep boop bop beep
Oh, Jack Kerouak
I love bongos and coffee
Skee bee bop bop boo bop da
Haiku # 18541, February 8, 2002 4:50 pm ET
by Scuba Steve of under your bed
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