Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 63 Days and 77460 Haiku later...

when i rule the world
things will be a lot better
at least for my friends
Haiku # 18569, February 13, 2002 8:27 am ET
by ash
a total snow job
judges skating on thin ice
and canada's piste
Haiku # 18568, February 13, 2002 8:25 am ET
by ash
canadians win
the gold? No, it don't look good.
yeah, the russians sucked.
Haiku # 18567, February 13, 2002 6:21 am ET
by k of we should just take over canado while we're at it
made me cry
they skated so well
should have won gold.
Haiku # 18566, February 13, 2002 5:23 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
a lone firewall stands
ablaze, seperating you
and empyrean peace

Hear that distant cry?*
It was a summons by you
to raise Bog's demon.

*echoing like a bell in your head
[tisk, tisk, look what you've done now]
Haiku # 18565, February 12, 2002 4:20 pm ET
by ComiCat of Jerzey

......i made it guys, yeah
looks like i gotta wear shades
.....my figtures too bright
Haiku # 18564, February 12, 2002 10:49 am ET
by ronin@hi.kenjoyingyourtour...withsomeone
Clicking on my mouse
I see many clever posts
It smells of cheese here.
Haiku # 18563, February 11, 2002 11:54 pm ET
by VeLvEt PuNk of North Dallas
I don't give a fuck
DH Lawrence can suck eggs
Now I suck mangoes

Hot sweet juicy smooth
dripping down my chinny-chin
blissfully tasty
Haiku # 18562, February 11, 2002 7:24 am ET
by mellie
i don't give a fig
it looks like a clam to me
fuck d h lawrence
Haiku # 18561, February 11, 2002 2:37 am ET
by ash
yeah norma and
glenda were such ballbreakers
if memory serves

you would think all the
fig-slurping would have improved
their mood, some people!
Haiku # 18560, February 11, 2002 2:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
windswept limbs groaning
big low cumuli charging
southerly buster
Haiku # 18559, February 11, 2002 1:24 am ET
by ash
Sexy Olympic
sport, woman's speed skating or
camel-toes on ice. :P
Haiku # 18558, February 10, 2002 5:08 pm ET
by fig-slurper
eat my warm fig then
the way Alan Bates showed how
in Women in Love
Haiku # 18557, February 10, 2002 5:32 am ET
by mellie
lets lube up rusty
Beth, she mentioned assault, ok
I'm calling firstys
Haiku # 18556, February 9, 2002 8:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
what if GM had
not invented george bush? would
we still feel embarrassed?
Haiku # 18555, February 9, 2002 8:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
At least I will spare
eyes from evil images;
words assault enough.
Haiku # 18554, February 9, 2002 7:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The regulars will
probably flame me for my
poor contribution.
Haiku # 18553, February 9, 2002 7:47 pm ET
by Rustybeth
Lurking voyeur reads;
Finally posts a poem
on the Internet.
Haiku # 18552, February 9, 2002 7:44 pm ET
by Rustybeth
Give me bad haiku!
I need that whine and grinding
brain feedback loop fuzz.
Haiku # 18551, February 9, 2002 7:42 pm ET
by Rustybeth of Turn on the damn heater!
Bad haiku exists
to torment the reader's mind.
No enlightement.
Haiku # 18550, February 9, 2002 7:40 pm ET
by Rustybeth of Freezing in summer, Melbourne
eat figs like D. H.
Lawrence, he said a woman
should be eaten so

split open and
with your tongue burrow, furrow
right up to the top

repeat until done
Haiku # 18549, February 9, 2002 3:44 pm ET
by randy
I've gone cold on sport
I just want to eat warm figs
Figs warmed by the sun
Haiku # 18548, February 9, 2002 8:14 am ET
by mellie
new olympic sport,
pantsless figureskating, now
that would draw a crowd
Haiku # 18547, February 9, 2002 2:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
the Olympiad
yah right, the gold metal is
not even real gold!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 18546, February 9, 2002 2:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
......aunts are jars full of
fond memories and sunshine
.....filled with tender love
Haiku # 18545, February 8, 2002 9:37 pm ET
by ronin@abelatedeulogy
legions of homeless
show up to protest, but are
shunned by cameras

are they just too slow?
should they die faster? a new
Olympic test sport?
Haiku # 18544, February 8, 2002 8:27 pm ET
by America the ridiculous chaos gets a gold medal
Olympic agents
moving fast to cover those
slow poke athletes

FBI people
trained to do the mile in
under 4:50
Haiku # 18543, February 8, 2002 8:22 pm ET
by America the ridiculous chaos gets a gold medal
I kill all ravers
"mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh"
Shut it, raver scum
Haiku # 18542, February 8, 2002 4:58 pm ET
by beep boop bop beep
Oh, Jack Kerouak
I love bongos and coffee
Skee bee bop bop boo bop da
Haiku # 18541, February 8, 2002 4:50 pm ET
by Scuba Steve of under your bed
i will eat goldfish
in the name of modern art!
(cheddar cheese flavor)
Haiku # 18540, February 8, 2002 4:38 pm ET
by scott
Canadians,
don't tread on our goldfish,
you may get splashed
Haiku # 18539, February 8, 2002 4:31 pm ET
by vancouver
the gold fish lived!
mob filled Hotel Vancouver,
concierge looking grim

beautiful girl
in crowded lobby yelled, KICK
THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!
Haiku # 18538, February 8, 2002 4:15 pm ET
by vancouver-no guff
Then I followed the
cameras and angry mob,
chase him down Burrard

He raced into the
Hotel Vancouver and jumped
behind the front desk
Haiku # 18537, February 8, 2002 4:05 pm ET
by vancouver
I saw a goldfish
guy like that in Vancouver,
a long time ago

think he suspended
weights above the poor thing then,
cameras poised
Haiku # 18536, February 8, 2002 4:02 pm ET
by vancouver
why's it upside down?
perhaps you're meant to view it
standing on your head

Haiku # 18535, February 8, 2002 12:20 pm ET
by s, Rhine
life imitates art
innocent fruit my victim
banana smoothie
Haiku # 18534, February 8, 2002 8:22 am ET
by ash
relieve the subject
of it's significant weight.
and color it strong!
Haiku # 18533, February 8, 2002 7:18 am ET
by k


tender forms and light.
nearly waterful colors,
transparent surface.
Haiku # 18532, February 8, 2002 7:16 am ET
by k of We visit the Rhine II
after the scandal
pregnant beginnings, in the
case a stoned forest
Haiku # 18531, February 8, 2002 7:11 am ET
by k (an article painted on the head, is suited for the painting, because it is unfit as article) of give all your Base litz to us
hanging from my feet
i am watching Baselitz
he looks like his art
Haiku # 18530, February 8, 2002 6:54 am ET
by ^ of i admire you, k. art is cruel.


fish in the blenders
one fish per blender and which
one shall I turn on?
Haiku # 18529, February 8, 2002 5:56 am ET
by k of art exhibit in Denmark featuring blenders each containing a goldfish with the option for the viewer to turn the blender on
spiral jetty
earth and water art
a fish is lost
Haiku # 18528, February 8, 2002 4:20 am ET
by swish ^ of sweden
the snow beckons tho
i lack funds to ski, i can
still drink my friends' scotch
Haiku # 18527, February 8, 2002 4:02 am ET
by k
"Ah believe what ah
believe, because most of the
time ah believe it."
Haiku # 18526, February 8, 2002 12:22 am ET
by G W Bush
G not J
Haiku # 18525, February 8, 2002 12:19 am ET
by G W Bush
"agricultural
folk like us, know just how unfair
the death penalty is!"
Haiku # 18520, February 7, 2002 10:52 pm ET
by JW Bush
an easy target,
Texas, so big and banal...
(metaphorically)
Haiku # 18519, February 7, 2002 8:46 pm ET
by scott (not suggesting anything to the "Evil Axis", mind you) of undisclosed interrogation room
hmm, christopher guest?
or mark wahlberg, sean penn?
it would still be flat

it should have been good
it had such a great premise
art reflecting life
Haiku # 18518, February 7, 2002 8:37 pm ET
by scott to k of casting/therapy couch
WHo da ho? you da-
ho no ho you da ho, ho
I daho no yo da ho
Haiku # 18517, February 7, 2002 10:34 am ET
by eatadick of malibu projects
ASSHOLE
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Haiku # 18516, February 7, 2002 6:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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