Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 62 Days and 77459 Haiku later...

I've gone cold on sport
I just want to eat warm figs
Figs warmed by the sun
Haiku # 18548, February 9, 2002 8:14 am ET
by mellie
new olympic sport,
pantsless figureskating, now
that would draw a crowd
Haiku # 18547, February 9, 2002 2:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
the Olympiad
yah right, the gold metal is
not even real gold!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 18546, February 9, 2002 2:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
......aunts are jars full of
fond memories and sunshine
.....filled with tender love
Haiku # 18545, February 8, 2002 9:37 pm ET
by ronin@abelatedeulogy
legions of homeless
show up to protest, but are
shunned by cameras

are they just too slow?
should they die faster? a new
Olympic test sport?
Haiku # 18544, February 8, 2002 8:27 pm ET
by America the ridiculous chaos gets a gold medal
Olympic agents
moving fast to cover those
slow poke athletes

FBI people
trained to do the mile in
under 4:50
Haiku # 18543, February 8, 2002 8:22 pm ET
by America the ridiculous chaos gets a gold medal
I kill all ravers
"mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh mpsh"
Shut it, raver scum
Haiku # 18542, February 8, 2002 4:58 pm ET
by beep boop bop beep
Oh, Jack Kerouak
I love bongos and coffee
Skee bee bop bop boo bop da
Haiku # 18541, February 8, 2002 4:50 pm ET
by Scuba Steve of under your bed
i will eat goldfish
in the name of modern art!
(cheddar cheese flavor)
Haiku # 18540, February 8, 2002 4:38 pm ET
by scott
Canadians,
don't tread on our goldfish,
you may get splashed
Haiku # 18539, February 8, 2002 4:31 pm ET
by vancouver
the gold fish lived!
mob filled Hotel Vancouver,
concierge looking grim

beautiful girl
in crowded lobby yelled, KICK
THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!
Haiku # 18538, February 8, 2002 4:15 pm ET
by vancouver-no guff
Then I followed the
cameras and angry mob,
chase him down Burrard

He raced into the
Hotel Vancouver and jumped
behind the front desk
Haiku # 18537, February 8, 2002 4:05 pm ET
by vancouver
I saw a goldfish
guy like that in Vancouver,
a long time ago

think he suspended
weights above the poor thing then,
cameras poised
Haiku # 18536, February 8, 2002 4:02 pm ET
by vancouver
why's it upside down?
perhaps you're meant to view it
standing on your head

Haiku # 18535, February 8, 2002 12:20 pm ET
by s, Rhine
life imitates art
innocent fruit my victim
banana smoothie
Haiku # 18534, February 8, 2002 8:22 am ET
by ash
relieve the subject
of it's significant weight.
and color it strong!
Haiku # 18533, February 8, 2002 7:18 am ET
by k


tender forms and light.
nearly waterful colors,
transparent surface.
Haiku # 18532, February 8, 2002 7:16 am ET
by k of We visit the Rhine II
after the scandal
pregnant beginnings, in the
case a stoned forest
Haiku # 18531, February 8, 2002 7:11 am ET
by k (an article painted on the head, is suited for the painting, because it is unfit as article) of give all your Base litz to us
hanging from my feet
i am watching Baselitz
he looks like his art
Haiku # 18530, February 8, 2002 6:54 am ET
by ^ of i admire you, k. art is cruel.


fish in the blenders
one fish per blender and which
one shall I turn on?
Haiku # 18529, February 8, 2002 5:56 am ET
by k of art exhibit in Denmark featuring blenders each containing a goldfish with the option for the viewer to turn the blender on
spiral jetty
earth and water art
a fish is lost
Haiku # 18528, February 8, 2002 4:20 am ET
by swish ^ of sweden
the snow beckons tho
i lack funds to ski, i can
still drink my friends' scotch
Haiku # 18527, February 8, 2002 4:02 am ET
by k
"Ah believe what ah
believe, because most of the
time ah believe it."
Haiku # 18526, February 8, 2002 12:22 am ET
by G W Bush
G not J
Haiku # 18525, February 8, 2002 12:19 am ET
by G W Bush
"agricultural
folk like us, know just how unfair
the death penalty is!"
Haiku # 18520, February 7, 2002 10:52 pm ET
by JW Bush
an easy target,
Texas, so big and banal...
(metaphorically)
Haiku # 18519, February 7, 2002 8:46 pm ET
by scott (not suggesting anything to the "Evil Axis", mind you) of undisclosed interrogation room
hmm, christopher guest?
or mark wahlberg, sean penn?
it would still be flat

it should have been good
it had such a great premise
art reflecting life
Haiku # 18518, February 7, 2002 8:37 pm ET
by scott to k of casting/therapy couch
WHo da ho? you da-
ho no ho you da ho, ho
I daho no yo da ho
Haiku # 18517, February 7, 2002 10:34 am ET
by eatadick of malibu projects
ASSHOLE
[]
[]
[]
[]
/
Haiku # 18516, February 7, 2002 6:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet


Yeah...vincent d'ono
frio would be better I
meant to say, really.
Haiku # 18515, February 7, 2002 5:00 am ET
by k of um I mean...


Vincent would be a
better choice for Happy, TX
(the movie). Oh well.
Haiku # 18514, February 7, 2002 4:54 am ET
by k of to scott
>>With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
>>With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
Haiku # 18513, February 7, 2002 12:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
>>Calmly................................. 32 Calories
>>In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
Haiku # 18512, February 7, 2002 12:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
>>50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
>>60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
>>70 and over......................... Results are still pending
Haiku # 18511, February 7, 2002 12:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
>>20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
>>30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
>>40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
Haiku # 18510, February 7, 2002 12:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
POST ORGASM:
>>Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
>>Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
>>Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories
Haiku # 18509, February 7, 2002 12:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
ORGASMIC:
>>Real................................... 112 Calories
>>False.................................. 315 Calories
Haiku # 18508, February 7, 2002 12:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
PRELIMINARIES:
>>Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
>>Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories
Haiku # 18507, February 7, 2002 12:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
>>With an erection....................... 6 Calories
>>Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
Haiku # 18506, February 7, 2002 12:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
OPENING HER BRA:
>>With both hands........................ 8 Calories
>>With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
>>With your teeth........................ 85 Calories
Haiku # 18505, February 7, 2002 12:09 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
caloric expenditure
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
>>With her consent....................... 12 Calories
>>Without her consent.................... 187 Calories
Haiku # 18504, February 7, 2002 12:09 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
test
Haiku # 18503, February 6, 2002 11:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
by the way, forgot
to mention important thing:
Janis, we love you!
Haiku # 18500, February 6, 2002 10:48 pm ET
by sheena@paeanhaiku
this guy plays odd shit
bizarre meld of death-thrash and
tinkly syrup
Haiku # 18499, February 6, 2002 10:46 pm ET
by sheena@listening to weird music
att: moths

o fluttery friends
true, you make me wet my pants
that's not all bad though

terrified screaming
picks up the adrenalin
gives me quite the rush
Haiku # 18498, February 6, 2002 10:43 pm ET
by Sheena
pix of this nature
have many parallels with
grandma's cock haiku
Haiku # 18497, February 6, 2002 10:40 pm ET
by sheena@migawdwhatawfuldamnpitchers
Goddamn! at long last
bit slow to recognize but
now i see the light
Haiku # 18496, February 6, 2002 10:38 pm ET
by sheena
ethnic cleansing in
afghanistan my, my, who
would have thought it, eh?
Haiku # 18495, February 6, 2002 8:57 pm ET
by Nick Numb, USA-we will turn your country into a labour camp for FREE!!
the day continues
grey clouds give way to blue sky
if i am lucky
Haiku # 18494, February 6, 2002 7:56 pm ET
by ash
I suppose that an
Axis of bad poetry
Isn't quite evil
Haiku # 18493, February 6, 2002 7:08 pm ET
by Janis
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