Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Cords from dressing gowns
Autoasphyxiation
Makes you think, don`t it?
Haiku # 1820, August 21, 1999 6:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I work for Alcan
My plans are forever foiled
Even when they''re not
Haiku # 1819, August 21, 1999 6:19 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I''ve been smearing oil
Over all my surfaces
It''s theraputic
Haiku # 1818, August 21, 1999 6:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
screaming, burning hair
in my mind''s eye they''re naked
Haiku # 1817, August 20, 1999 2:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You! Scratching your arse
by the photobooth. One day,
son, your prints will come.
Haiku # 1816, August 20, 1999 8:04 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Who`s that private dick?
Sex machine to all the chicks.
Yep. It`s my grandpa.
Haiku # 1815, August 20, 1999 7:59 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Dot co dot uk,
Dot net dot org dot
They''re all made of pants.
Haiku # 1814, August 20, 1999 7:56 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Afternoons like this
are for procrastinating.
Pass the Vaseline.
Haiku # 1813, August 20, 1999 6:30 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Sky-blue candy floss.
Whoever heard of such things?
I must get out more.
Haiku # 1812, August 20, 1999 6:28 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Will I ne`er be free?
No no, Mr Bluebottle,
windows are like that.
Haiku # 1811, August 20, 1999 6:26 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Answering machines
always foiling all my plans.
Blip blip blip blip beeeeeeep
Haiku # 1810, August 20, 1999 6:21 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
pyromaniacs
engaging in backburning
bushfires on the hill
Haiku # 1809, August 20, 1999 5:58 am ET
by ash
I drank the ocean
Now I''m bigger than Brando
I need some more room
Haiku # 1808, August 20, 1999 2:52 am ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
What is the reason
For you my funky werewolf
Have I gone too far?
Haiku # 1807, August 20, 1999 2:47 am ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
bugs and teen-agers,
an annoying symmetry.
bazookas for sure.
Haiku # 1806, August 19, 1999 9:45 pm ET
by chris
big roaches that clank
lumber through my apartment
i need bazookas
Haiku # 1805, August 19, 1999 9:43 pm ET
by chris
teen-agers annoy
me and rap makes no sense at all
i''ve become my dad
Haiku # 1804, August 19, 1999 9:37 pm ET
by chris
recycled passion
dreamer''s dreams left to the way side
still searching for pearls
Haiku # 1803, August 19, 1999 6:11 pm ET
by Raz
you boasting buffoon
stop talking math or i''ll scream
boring is not smart
Haiku # 1802, August 19, 1999 3:39 pm ET
by kkk colonic
you boasting buffoon
stop talking math or i''ll scream
boring is not smart
Haiku # 1801, August 19, 1999 3:38 pm ET
by kkk colonic
he bought me dinner
i drank too much jack daniels
he did not kiss me
Haiku # 1800, August 19, 1999 11:12 am ET
by whoops
I often wonder
About things that tickle bees
Like freshly mown grass
Haiku # 1799, August 19, 1999 8:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I poured cold Snapple
Into my PC, killing
The computer elf
Haiku # 1798, August 19, 1999 8:54 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
For such a small word
It`s incredible how sex
Can be so much fun
Haiku # 1797, August 19, 1999 8:52 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Whole roasted peanuts
Wrapped in a crispy coating
Mmm technology
Haiku # 1796, August 19, 1999 8:49 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Four electric geese
Stand and honk in my garden
When they`re fully charged
Haiku # 1795, August 19, 1999 8:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My singing stingray
Stings and sings for everything
Just like an angel
Haiku # 1794, August 19, 1999 7:44 am ET
by Dr Ernest Unity of Jupiter's Red Spot,
On display for me
A girl so lovely and fair
I say does she bite?
Haiku # 1793, August 19, 1999 7:33 am ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
You recognize me
By my torrid expression
And swoon from passion
Haiku # 1792, August 19, 1999 7:27 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
All my silly popes
Are lining up to greet you
Please enjoy them all
Haiku # 1791, August 19, 1999 7:23 am ET
by Doc Unity
Dr. Sam Beckett.
I wonder if he misses
his own genitals.
Haiku # 1790, August 19, 1999 3:08 am ET
by Hunty Scarredbody
You see, there''s this thing
I keep it in a small box
More smallish, really
Haiku # 1789, August 19, 1999 1:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If everybody
Wore armour instead of pants
We could kick at will
Haiku # 1788, August 19, 1999 1:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Was Joan of Arc''s arc
Really an arc or simply
Just a curvy thing?
Haiku # 1787, August 19, 1999 1:44 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Now to end the show
America shoots itself
We get off on it
Haiku # 1786, August 18, 1999 10:36 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Te setzu duh hru?
Eedsuni kungata ho-
`ertutu Nabla!
Haiku # 1785, August 18, 1999 10:25 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
The day will soon come
when gnomes will rule us all
So just let it ride
Haiku # 1784, August 18, 1999 10:22 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Oh I am so deep
Oh I bring up lofty things
only when I drink
Haiku # 1783, August 18, 1999 10:16 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Asphyxiation
Find out what means to me
People Everywhere
Haiku # 1782, August 18, 1999 10:04 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Its so good of you
To dig my surrealism
Now what do you say?
Haiku # 1781, August 18, 1999 9:58 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of shoe city, Oz
has anyone else
ever kissed an elephant?
damn this haiku sucks
Haiku # 1780, August 18, 1999 9:58 pm ET
by Infinity
Haiku # 1779, August 18, 1999 9:51 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
But seriosly,
folks, I just flew in from Mu
and boy is my head...
Haiku # 1778, August 18, 1999 9:47 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity of wadc, gah
Tell me who I am
You see a God before you
Naked and ready
Haiku # 1777, August 18, 1999 9:42 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, uneverno
my pc reaches
across your stellar badness
and truely wants you
Haiku # 1776, August 18, 1999 9:34 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, Beatstreet
My love is so great
I cannot express the words
I writhe in it's thing
Haiku # 1775, August 18, 1999 9:29 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, Fun city
Bring on the feast!
And also the dancing girls!
I must have it all!
Haiku # 1774, August 18, 1999 9:24 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, Fun city
Hi ho everyone!
I have once again retuned
to stimulate you!
Haiku # 1773, August 18, 1999 9:18 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of Washington , The center of the universe
I lower my eyes
not for breasts, not from shyness
I seek toe cleavage
Haiku # 1772, August 18, 1999 3:46 pm ET
by hangdog
a question put forth:
how many tongues do you have?
must be a shitload
Haiku # 1771, August 18, 1999 1:57 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
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