Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Dot co dot uk,
Dot net dot org dot
They''re all made of pants.
Haiku # 1814, August 20, 1999 7:56 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Afternoons like this
are for procrastinating.
Pass the Vaseline.
Haiku # 1813, August 20, 1999 6:30 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Sky-blue candy floss.
Whoever heard of such things?
I must get out more.
Haiku # 1812, August 20, 1999 6:28 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Will I ne`er be free?
No no, Mr Bluebottle,
windows are like that.
Haiku # 1811, August 20, 1999 6:26 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Answering machines
always foiling all my plans.
Blip blip blip blip beeeeeeep
Haiku # 1810, August 20, 1999 6:21 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
pyromaniacs
engaging in backburning
bushfires on the hill
Haiku # 1809, August 20, 1999 5:58 am ET
by ash
I drank the ocean
Now I''m bigger than Brando
I need some more room
Haiku # 1808, August 20, 1999 2:52 am ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
What is the reason
For you my funky werewolf
Have I gone too far?
Haiku # 1807, August 20, 1999 2:47 am ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
bugs and teen-agers,
an annoying symmetry.
bazookas for sure.
Haiku # 1806, August 19, 1999 9:45 pm ET
by chris
big roaches that clank
lumber through my apartment
i need bazookas
Haiku # 1805, August 19, 1999 9:43 pm ET
by chris
teen-agers annoy
me and rap makes no sense at all
i''ve become my dad
Haiku # 1804, August 19, 1999 9:37 pm ET
by chris
recycled passion
dreamer''s dreams left to the way side
still searching for pearls
Haiku # 1803, August 19, 1999 6:11 pm ET
by Raz
you boasting buffoon
stop talking math or i''ll scream
boring is not smart
Haiku # 1802, August 19, 1999 3:39 pm ET
by kkk colonic
you boasting buffoon
stop talking math or i''ll scream
boring is not smart
Haiku # 1801, August 19, 1999 3:38 pm ET
by kkk colonic
he bought me dinner
i drank too much jack daniels
he did not kiss me
Haiku # 1800, August 19, 1999 11:12 am ET
by whoops
I often wonder
About things that tickle bees
Like freshly mown grass
Haiku # 1799, August 19, 1999 8:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I poured cold Snapple
Into my PC, killing
The computer elf
Haiku # 1798, August 19, 1999 8:54 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
For such a small word
It`s incredible how sex
Can be so much fun
Haiku # 1797, August 19, 1999 8:52 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Whole roasted peanuts
Wrapped in a crispy coating
Mmm technology
Haiku # 1796, August 19, 1999 8:49 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Four electric geese
Stand and honk in my garden
When they`re fully charged
Haiku # 1795, August 19, 1999 8:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My singing stingray
Stings and sings for everything
Just like an angel
Haiku # 1794, August 19, 1999 7:44 am ET
by Dr Ernest Unity of Jupiter's Red Spot,
On display for me
A girl so lovely and fair
I say does she bite?
Haiku # 1793, August 19, 1999 7:33 am ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
You recognize me
By my torrid expression
And swoon from passion
Haiku # 1792, August 19, 1999 7:27 am ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
All my silly popes
Are lining up to greet you
Please enjoy them all
Haiku # 1791, August 19, 1999 7:23 am ET
by Doc Unity
Dr. Sam Beckett.
I wonder if he misses
his own genitals.
Haiku # 1790, August 19, 1999 3:08 am ET
by Hunty Scarredbody
You see, there''s this thing
I keep it in a small box
More smallish, really
Haiku # 1789, August 19, 1999 1:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If everybody
Wore armour instead of pants
We could kick at will
Haiku # 1788, August 19, 1999 1:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Was Joan of Arc''s arc
Really an arc or simply
Just a curvy thing?
Haiku # 1787, August 19, 1999 1:44 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Now to end the show
America shoots itself
We get off on it
Haiku # 1786, August 18, 1999 10:36 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Te setzu duh hru?
Eedsuni kungata ho-
`ertutu Nabla!
Haiku # 1785, August 18, 1999 10:25 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
The day will soon come
when gnomes will rule us all
So just let it ride
Haiku # 1784, August 18, 1999 10:22 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Oh I am so deep
Oh I bring up lofty things
only when I drink
Haiku # 1783, August 18, 1999 10:16 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Asphyxiation
Find out what means to me
People Everywhere
Haiku # 1782, August 18, 1999 10:04 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
Its so good of you
To dig my surrealism
Now what do you say?
Haiku # 1781, August 18, 1999 9:58 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of shoe city, Oz
has anyone else
ever kissed an elephant?
damn this haiku sucks
Haiku # 1780, August 18, 1999 9:58 pm ET
by Infinity
Haiku # 1779, August 18, 1999 9:51 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
But seriosly,
folks, I just flew in from Mu
and boy is my head...
Haiku # 1778, August 18, 1999 9:47 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity of wadc, gah
Tell me who I am
You see a God before you
Naked and ready
Haiku # 1777, August 18, 1999 9:42 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, uneverno
my pc reaches
across your stellar badness
and truely wants you
Haiku # 1776, August 18, 1999 9:34 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, Beatstreet
My love is so great
I cannot express the words
I writhe in it's thing
Haiku # 1775, August 18, 1999 9:29 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, Fun city
Bring on the feast!
And also the dancing girls!
I must have it all!
Haiku # 1774, August 18, 1999 9:24 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, Fun city
Hi ho everyone!
I have once again retuned
to stimulate you!
Haiku # 1773, August 18, 1999 9:18 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of Washington , The center of the universe
I lower my eyes
not for breasts, not from shyness
I seek toe cleavage
Haiku # 1772, August 18, 1999 3:46 pm ET
by hangdog
a question put forth:
how many tongues do you have?
must be a shitload
Haiku # 1771, August 18, 1999 1:57 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Oh, Kevin Spacey.
You''re the coolest man I''ve seen
Who looks like a spud.
Haiku # 1770, August 18, 1999 9:53 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Hey what do you call
A groupie in just their drawers?
A sycopant. Ha!
Haiku # 1769, August 18, 1999 9:37 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I''m a poor old hag.
Spare a pound for a cuppa
And some HRT.
Haiku # 1768, August 18, 1999 9:37 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
''Porn! The Musical''
Starring Darren Day and 5ive.
Coming soon. Geddit?
Haiku # 1767, August 18, 1999 9:32 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I had no idea
That sponges were once alive
That weirds me out, man
Haiku # 1766, August 18, 1999 9:30 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Dogs are great, you know?
Who else would lick my fingers
Just to wake me up?
Haiku # 1765, August 18, 1999 9:26 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
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