Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Its so good of you
To dig my surrealism
Now what do you say?
Haiku # 1781, August 18, 1999 9:58 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of shoe city, Oz
has anyone else
ever kissed an elephant?
damn this haiku sucks
Haiku # 1780, August 18, 1999 9:58 pm ET
by Infinity
Haiku # 1779, August 18, 1999 9:51 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity
But seriosly,
folks, I just flew in from Mu
and boy is my head...
Haiku # 1778, August 18, 1999 9:47 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity of wadc, gah
Tell me who I am
You see a God before you
Naked and ready
Haiku # 1777, August 18, 1999 9:42 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, uneverno
my pc reaches
across your stellar badness
and truely wants you
Haiku # 1776, August 18, 1999 9:34 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, Beatstreet
My love is so great
I cannot express the words
I writhe in it's thing
Haiku # 1775, August 18, 1999 9:29 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, Fun city
Bring on the feast!
And also the dancing girls!
I must have it all!
Haiku # 1774, August 18, 1999 9:24 pm ET
by Dr Ernwst Unity of Washingtondc, Fun city
Hi ho everyone!
I have once again retuned
to stimulate you!
Haiku # 1773, August 18, 1999 9:18 pm ET
by Dr. Ernest Unity of Washington , The center of the universe
I lower my eyes
not for breasts, not from shyness
I seek toe cleavage
Haiku # 1772, August 18, 1999 3:46 pm ET
by hangdog
a question put forth:
how many tongues do you have?
must be a shitload
Haiku # 1771, August 18, 1999 1:57 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Oh, Kevin Spacey.
You''re the coolest man I''ve seen
Who looks like a spud.
Haiku # 1770, August 18, 1999 9:53 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Hey what do you call
A groupie in just their drawers?
A sycopant. Ha!
Haiku # 1769, August 18, 1999 9:37 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I''m a poor old hag.
Spare a pound for a cuppa
And some HRT.
Haiku # 1768, August 18, 1999 9:37 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
''Porn! The Musical''
Starring Darren Day and 5ive.
Coming soon. Geddit?
Haiku # 1767, August 18, 1999 9:32 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I had no idea
That sponges were once alive
That weirds me out, man
Haiku # 1766, August 18, 1999 9:30 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Dogs are great, you know?
Who else would lick my fingers
Just to wake me up?
Haiku # 1765, August 18, 1999 9:26 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Once, I heard a song
That sounded like a cat''s screech
Britney Spears, it was
Haiku # 1764, August 18, 1999 9:24 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Look to the heavens!
Is that a horseman coming?
Or just a big cloud?
Haiku # 1763, August 18, 1999 9:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My blue touchpaper
Is covered in advocaat
So I can`t light it
Haiku # 1762, August 18, 1999 9:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Dreamt I got dog pierced
And I hung her out to dry
Using humane pegs
Haiku # 1761, August 18, 1999 9:13 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I sucked my Grandad''s
Werthers Original. Mmm.
Uncommonly good.
Haiku # 1760, August 18, 1999 9:02 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
''Chips'', Isla St. Clair,
BJ and Bear; Sonny, Cher.
Ah, the Seventies.
Haiku # 1759, August 18, 1999 8:59 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Dog fell down a hole.
Again. No depth perception.
501s ruined.
Haiku # 1758, August 18, 1999 8:54 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
You foolish young girls.
First picnic at Hanging Rock,
then Haunted House. Tsk.
Haiku # 1757, August 18, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Those boots of Lou Reed''s
Were they really *that* shiny?
Or was he on drugs?
Haiku # 1756, August 18, 1999 8:48 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
had that dream again
floating higher in the air
rising up and up
Haiku # 1755, August 18, 1999 5:30 am ET
by ash
cos i gotta fly
have u got reynold''s number
in case i need him
Haiku # 1754, August 18, 1999 5:26 am ET
by ash
Melancholia
Sticks to the walls of my mind
Like some old Blu-Tack
Haiku # 1753, August 18, 1999 3:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
There''s a big wet patch
In a ring around my crotch
Damn those waterproofs
Haiku # 1752, August 18, 1999 3:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Listen to rain
It sounds like drops of water
Falling from the sky
Haiku # 1751, August 18, 1999 3:21 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My Border Collie
Stinks awful bad when she''s wet
Please help me dry her
Haiku # 1750, August 17, 1999 10:27 pm ET
by Pieter
One of my gerbils
Squeals for his tiny biscuit
The earth laughs and cries
Haiku # 1749, August 17, 1999 10:43 am ET
by Joo Lee of USA
hey all you bad dudes
i want one in 3 holes
and I can take two by hand
I love to be cum upon.
I''m a cum drinkin bad bitch
Haiku # 1748, August 16, 1999 1:12 pm ET
by Nauseous One of Glendale, usa
Navel inspection
What's so metaphysical
about colored lint?
Haiku # 1747, August 16, 1999 9:09 am ET
by Emcee Escher
Need apostrophes?
Try ampersand pound three nine
then semicolon
Haiku # 1746, August 16, 1999 4:52 am ET
by Emcee Escher
Curse you, cold woman
Withholding your affections
I''m smoking again
Haiku # 1745, August 16, 1999 4:42 am ET
by Emcee Escher
Many regulars,
could I possibly compete?
Yeah, I''m pretty sure
Haiku # 1744, August 14, 1999 10:48 pm ET
by Miss Vicky
This is really bad
Haiku and should contain one
more syllable
Haiku # 1743, August 14, 1999 4:49 pm ET
by http://moon.pr.erau.edu/~mattl
do not speak until
the day''s eyes flutter open
and tongue-crud is scraped
Haiku # 1742, August 14, 1999 11:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
the inventor of
shoes must once have trod upon
fresh turds left by dogs
Haiku # 1741, August 14, 1999 11:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The glass ain''t half-full
Neither is it half-empty.
The milk is sour.
Haiku # 1740, August 14, 1999 10:08 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
just cos i can type
i will send in this haiku
and a thousand more
Haiku # 1739, August 14, 1999 6:57 am ET
by ash
aspect ratio
flatters my slim empennage
i fly like a bird
Haiku # 1738, August 14, 1999 5:54 am ET
by ash
It was a fine day and I hit a website
www.badhaiku.com
I submitted and I cried
Haiku # 1737, August 13, 1999 1:57 pm ET
by Shuvro of Seattle, USA
I wrestle for kicks
With Conga Eels in a tub
The kids sure like it
Haiku # 1736, August 13, 1999 9:49 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The magic number
Is three, or so I''m informed
It''s remarkable
Haiku # 1735, August 13, 1999 9:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I tattooed myself
With a chainsaw and some paint
It says "I love Mnnnfp"
Haiku # 1734, August 13, 1999 9:46 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I broke my joystick
By waggling it too roughly
Is there a moral?
Haiku # 1733, August 13, 1999 9:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Microwave ovens
Heat food using microwaves
Now that`s a fact Jack
Haiku # 1732, August 13, 1999 9:43 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
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