Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 41 Days and 77432 Haiku later...

Look to the heavens!
Is that a horseman coming?
Or just a big cloud?
Haiku # 1763, August 18, 1999 9:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My blue touchpaper
Is covered in advocaat
So I can`t light it
Haiku # 1762, August 18, 1999 9:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Dreamt I got dog pierced
And I hung her out to dry
Using humane pegs
Haiku # 1761, August 18, 1999 9:13 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I sucked my Grandad''s
Werthers Original. Mmm.
Uncommonly good.
Haiku # 1760, August 18, 1999 9:02 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
''Chips'', Isla St. Clair,
BJ and Bear; Sonny, Cher.
Ah, the Seventies.
Haiku # 1759, August 18, 1999 8:59 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Dog fell down a hole.
Again. No depth perception.
501s ruined.
Haiku # 1758, August 18, 1999 8:54 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
You foolish young girls.
First picnic at Hanging Rock,
then Haunted House. Tsk.
Haiku # 1757, August 18, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Those boots of Lou Reed''s
Were they really *that* shiny?
Or was he on drugs?
Haiku # 1756, August 18, 1999 8:48 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
had that dream again
floating higher in the air
rising up and up
Haiku # 1755, August 18, 1999 5:30 am ET
by ash
cos i gotta fly
have u got reynold''s number
in case i need him
Haiku # 1754, August 18, 1999 5:26 am ET
by ash
Melancholia
Sticks to the walls of my mind
Like some old Blu-Tack
Haiku # 1753, August 18, 1999 3:27 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
There''s a big wet patch
In a ring around my crotch
Damn those waterproofs
Haiku # 1752, August 18, 1999 3:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Listen to rain
It sounds like drops of water
Falling from the sky
Haiku # 1751, August 18, 1999 3:21 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My Border Collie
Stinks awful bad when she''s wet
Please help me dry her
Haiku # 1750, August 17, 1999 10:27 pm ET
by Pieter
One of my gerbils
Squeals for his tiny biscuit
The earth laughs and cries
Haiku # 1749, August 17, 1999 10:43 am ET
by Joo Lee of USA
hey all you bad dudes
i want one in 3 holes
and I can take two by hand
I love to be cum upon.
I''m a cum drinkin bad bitch
Haiku # 1748, August 16, 1999 1:12 pm ET
by Nauseous One of Glendale, usa
Navel inspection
What's so metaphysical
about colored lint?
Haiku # 1747, August 16, 1999 9:09 am ET
by Emcee Escher
Need apostrophes?
Try ampersand pound three nine
then semicolon
Haiku # 1746, August 16, 1999 4:52 am ET
by Emcee Escher
Curse you, cold woman
Withholding your affections
I''m smoking again
Haiku # 1745, August 16, 1999 4:42 am ET
by Emcee Escher
Many regulars,
could I possibly compete?
Yeah, I''m pretty sure
Haiku # 1744, August 14, 1999 10:48 pm ET
by Miss Vicky
This is really bad
Haiku and should contain one
more syllable
Haiku # 1743, August 14, 1999 4:49 pm ET
by http://moon.pr.erau.edu/~mattl
do not speak until
the day''s eyes flutter open
and tongue-crud is scraped
Haiku # 1742, August 14, 1999 11:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
the inventor of
shoes must once have trod upon
fresh turds left by dogs
Haiku # 1741, August 14, 1999 11:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The glass ain''t half-full
Neither is it half-empty.
The milk is sour.
Haiku # 1740, August 14, 1999 10:08 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
just cos i can type
i will send in this haiku
and a thousand more
Haiku # 1739, August 14, 1999 6:57 am ET
by ash
aspect ratio
flatters my slim empennage
i fly like a bird
Haiku # 1738, August 14, 1999 5:54 am ET
by ash
It was a fine day and I hit a website
www.badhaiku.com
I submitted and I cried
Haiku # 1737, August 13, 1999 1:57 pm ET
by Shuvro of Seattle, USA
I wrestle for kicks
With Conga Eels in a tub
The kids sure like it
Haiku # 1736, August 13, 1999 9:49 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The magic number
Is three, or so I''m informed
It''s remarkable
Haiku # 1735, August 13, 1999 9:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I tattooed myself
With a chainsaw and some paint
It says "I love Mnnnfp"
Haiku # 1734, August 13, 1999 9:46 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I broke my joystick
By waggling it too roughly
Is there a moral?
Haiku # 1733, August 13, 1999 9:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Microwave ovens
Heat food using microwaves
Now that`s a fact Jack
Haiku # 1732, August 13, 1999 9:43 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
That sneaky trumpet
Dribbled warmly down my thigh
PVC pants, yeah!
Haiku # 1731, August 13, 1999 9:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
tea and cucumber
sandwiches and debutantes
jaw clenching, "thanks mom"
Haiku # 1730, August 12, 1999 2:11 pm ET
by secret of another instructional video, will be the end of us all!
If it''s Saturday
It must be Sao Paolo
Or at least Cardiff
Haiku # 1729, August 12, 1999 1:08 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I am a viking
I have two enormous horns
Stuck on my helmet
Haiku # 1728, August 12, 1999 1:06 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When masticating
Please, try to keep your mouth closed
Else the food falls out
Haiku # 1727, August 12, 1999 5:37 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Is the glass half full?
Or is it just half empty?
Who cares? Bring more beer.
Haiku # 1726, August 12, 1999 5:35 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I pushed a pencil
Up my nose to sharpen it
Now I use crayons
Haiku # 1725, August 12, 1999 5:33 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
just got out of bed
a new day nods its welcome
but first, take a whiz
Haiku # 1724, August 12, 1999 4:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Matt Stone, Trey Parker.
They are such clever buggers.
I just thought I''d say.
Haiku # 1723, August 12, 1999 4:55 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
when the dog explores
her tail wags, her eyes light up
bugs are edible
Haiku # 1722, August 11, 1999 6:20 pm ET
by chris
Charging like bunnies,
with windswept ears and sharp teeth
Kiss my ass, Copper!!
Haiku # 1721, August 11, 1999 9:19 am ET
by Fruity
Real Hot and Shiny
Like a bucket of chicken
Hey Fruity!! Look there!

Lumbering uphill
Back-tits making a sine wave
There!! It''s a fat guy!!
Gee, I wonder if
He could eat a whole roast pig
maybe a baby.
Haiku # 1720, August 11, 1999 9:14 am ET
by Fruity
warm borborygmi
gurgling deep in my gizzard
preludes to a fart
Haiku # 1719, August 11, 1999 5:03 am ET
by ash
a long way from home
a whole continent removed
sorry. no punch line.
Haiku # 1718, August 10, 1999 6:56 pm ET
by chris
on the sea of dreams,
asleep, adrift and carefree,
dog''s butt in my face
Haiku # 1717, August 10, 1999 6:49 pm ET
by chris
dinoflagellates,
unicellular zoa,
cute little fuckers
Haiku # 1716, August 10, 1999 6:44 pm ET
by chris
server connection
takes forever and a day
time to take two dumps
Haiku # 1715, August 10, 1999 6:34 pm ET
by chris
Puta que pariu
Vai tomar no cu
Filho duma puta!
Haiku # 1714, August 10, 1999 1:41 pm ET
by Aluyzyus of Oz,
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