Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 42 Days and 77433 Haiku later...

dinoflagellates,
unicellular zoa,
cute little fuckers
Haiku # 1716, August 10, 1999 6:44 pm ET
by chris
server connection
takes forever and a day
time to take two dumps
Haiku # 1715, August 10, 1999 6:34 pm ET
by chris
Puta que pariu
Vai tomar no cu
Filho duma puta!
Haiku # 1714, August 10, 1999 1:41 pm ET
by Aluyzyus of Oz,
made my peace with God
at least I hope it was God
I was really drunk
Haiku # 1713, August 10, 1999 9:54 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
dreamt my dick could talk
it had a nice crisp accent
like Sean Connery''s
Haiku # 1712, August 10, 1999 9:52 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
I showed them I care
when my group missed the deadline
I feigned a seizure
Haiku # 1711, August 10, 1999 9:49 am ET
by Hollywood Against The Machine
Great pools of jism
Covers the streets like treacle
Yes, it''s raining men
Haiku # 1710, August 10, 1999 8:16 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A big oval comes
In the sky with the eclipse
Oops, I mean elipse
Haiku # 1709, August 10, 1999 8:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Water pouring down
From the sodden atmosphere
Just like God`s wee wee
Haiku # 1708, August 10, 1999 8:12 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Shifty artisans
Wreak havoc with their hammers
Come, let us bite them
Haiku # 1707, August 10, 1999 8:11 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I have no kitchen
Yet I must cook some kievs
Hey, pass that candle
Haiku # 1706, August 10, 1999 8:09 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
''Yeah, shag baby, yeah.''
If one more person says that
I''ll kill them. I will.
Haiku # 1705, August 10, 1999 7:24 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Grotesquely painted
They climb the stairs together
I hide in cupboard.
Haiku # 1704, August 10, 1999 7:23 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Grotesquely painted
They climb the stairs together
I hide in cupboard.
Haiku # 1703, August 10, 1999 7:21 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
damn that hollywood
because he stops submitting
if he is happy
Haiku # 1702, August 10, 1999 6:30 am ET
by ash
there is nothing worse
than great expectoration''s
vile phlegmatism
Haiku # 1701, August 10, 1999 6:28 am ET
by ash
If they spoke English
oh how they would laugh, up there
high on Mount Titlis.
Haiku # 1700, August 10, 1999 5:20 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I sat in my car
Guttermouth played loudly
Man, do I feel Fucked
Haiku # 1699, August 9, 1999 8:07 pm ET
by amanda of seattle , usa
''you''ll be glad you did''
that is what it said up there
my heart feels sorrow
Haiku # 1698, August 9, 1999 3:04 pm ET
by manic bartender
in my own office
I sit on my lazy ass
monkey, keep typing!
Haiku # 1697, August 9, 1999 2:58 pm ET
by manic bartender
footprint shaped poodle
Japanese man is screaming
oh no,is Godzilla!
Haiku # 1696, August 9, 1999 2:54 pm ET
by manic bartender
Jimmy Kimmel and
Adam Corrola say to
eat sticks of butter
Haiku # 1695, August 9, 1999 2:51 pm ET
by manic bartender
well, it''s almost time
return to college dammit
I eat the raw beans
Haiku # 1694, August 9, 1999 2:01 pm ET
by Infinity
It gets pretty sore
If you play with it too much
Then it all goes numb
Haiku # 1693, August 9, 1999 8:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Nobody wants me
Perhaps it''s because I smell
of elderberries
Haiku # 1692, August 9, 1999 8:07 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The ginger-haired girl
Sings like a siren by the
Photocopier
Haiku # 1691, August 9, 1999 8:05 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When I am made King
I''ll wear a hollow melon
Instead of a crown
Haiku # 1690, August 9, 1999 7:50 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When I saw Star Wars
Princess Leia forced me to
Test fire my Death Star
Haiku # 1689, August 9, 1999 7:47 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Alone in my room
I eat cold beans from the tin
In my vest and pants
Haiku # 1688, August 9, 1999 7:46 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
''Just like a Mandog
you chase tail in a circle.''
XTC, the wags.
Haiku # 1687, August 8, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
An old newspaper
Lies on the ground, in the rain
Just getting wetter
Haiku # 1686, August 8, 1999 8:47 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I just don''t get it
What''s with these apostrophes?
There''s one too many...
Haiku # 1685, August 8, 1999 8:44 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I like Jane Fonda
I couldn''t eat all of her
But I''d make a start
Haiku # 1684, August 8, 1999 8:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wish I could fly
In the air like an eagle
That eats small people
Haiku # 1683, August 8, 1999 8:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I bought new sockets
And polished up all my plugs
Big plug fun tonight!
Haiku # 1682, August 8, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh didnt you hear?
Apostrophes are pass
Haiku # 1681, August 8, 1999 5:24 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Oh didnt you hear?
Apostrophes are pass
Haiku # 1680, August 8, 1999 5:23 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Bastard newsagent
didn''t deliver paper
*and* he has a beard.
Haiku # 1679, August 8, 1999 5:22 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Bastard newsagent
didn''t deliver paper
*and* he has a beard.
Haiku # 1678, August 8, 1999 5:16 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I send six haiku
to your wonderful website
oh, wait, now seven.
Haiku # 1677, August 7, 1999 8:38 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
The morning''s work done,
I retire to the bar.
Time to get hammered.
Haiku # 1676, August 7, 1999 8:37 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
Curled up in a ball,
Whimpering on the sidewalk
I have no more drugs.
Haiku # 1675, August 7, 1999 8:36 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
Damn punk-ass robots
Always shooting their lasers
and cramping my style.
Haiku # 1674, August 7, 1999 8:35 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
Pretentious bastards!
I do all my wine tasting
from a paper bag.
Haiku # 1673, August 7, 1999 8:34 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
Passed out on the floor
Puddle of vomit my one
clue to what happened
Haiku # 1672, August 7, 1999 8:33 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
If I wrote Haiku
To describe your many charms
Could I grab your ass?
Haiku # 1671, August 7, 1999 8:32 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
my penis is large
my money is abundant
where are the chicks?
Haiku # 1670, August 7, 1999 4:51 pm ET
by chris
why does she IM?
she ripped my f**cking heart out
i mope always now
Haiku # 1669, August 7, 1999 4:45 pm ET
by chris
my cat''s neck and head
are flea-bitten and scabby
decapitation
Haiku # 1668, August 7, 1999 4:42 pm ET
by chris
when whisky is chugged
and pizza is inhaled, chunks
swirl counterclockwise
Haiku # 1667, August 7, 1999 4:39 pm ET
by chris
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