''Porn! The Musical''
Starring Darren Day and 5ive.
Coming soon. Geddit?
by Scrunty Hardbody
I had no idea
That sponges were once alive
That weirds me out, man
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Dogs are great, you know?
Who else would lick my fingers
Just to wake me up?
by Scrunty Hardbody
Once, I heard a song
That sounded like a cat''s screech
Britney Spears, it was
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Look to the heavens!
Is that a horseman coming?
Or just a big cloud?
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My blue touchpaper
Is covered in advocaat
So I can`t light it
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Dreamt I got dog pierced
And I hung her out to dry
Using humane pegs
by Scrunty Hardbody
I sucked my Grandad''s
Werthers Original. Mmm.
Uncommonly good.
by Scrunty Hardbody
''Chips'', Isla St. Clair,
BJ and Bear; Sonny, Cher.
Ah, the Seventies.
by Scrunty Hardbody
Dog fell down a hole.
Again. No depth perception.
501s ruined.
by Scrunty Hardbody
You foolish young girls.
First picnic at Hanging Rock,
then Haunted House. Tsk.
by Scrunty Hardbody
Those boots of Lou Reed''s
Were they really *that* shiny?
Or was he on drugs?
by Scrunty Hardbody
had that dream again
floating higher in the air
rising up and up
by ash
cos i gotta fly
have u got reynold''s number
in case i need him
by ash
Melancholia
Sticks to the walls of my mind
Like some old Blu-Tack
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
There''s a big wet patch
In a ring around my crotch
Damn those waterproofs
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Listen to rain
It sounds like drops of water
Falling from the sky
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
My Border Collie
Stinks awful bad when she''s wet
Please help me dry her
by Pieter
One of my gerbils
Squeals for his tiny biscuit
The earth laughs and cries
by Joo Lee of USA
hey all you bad dudes
i want one in 3 holes
and I can take two by hand
I love to be cum upon.
I''m a cum drinkin bad bitch
by Nauseous One of Glendale, usa
Navel inspection
What's so metaphysical
about colored lint?
by Emcee Escher
Need apostrophes?
Try ampersand pound three nine
then semicolon
by Emcee Escher
Curse you, cold woman
Withholding your affections
I''m smoking again
by Emcee Escher
Many regulars,
could I possibly compete?
Yeah, I''m pretty sure
by Miss Vicky
This is really bad
Haiku and should contain one
more syllable
by http://moon.pr.erau.edu/~mattl
do not speak until
the day''s eyes flutter open
and tongue-crud is scraped
by Anonymous Poet
the inventor of
shoes must once have trod upon
fresh turds left by dogs
by Anonymous Poet
The glass ain''t half-full
Neither is it half-empty.
The milk is sour.
by Scrunty Hardbody
just cos i can type
i will send in this haiku
and a thousand more
by ash
aspect ratio
flatters my slim empennage
i fly like a bird
by ash
It was a fine day and I hit a website
www.badhaiku.com
I submitted and I cried
by Shuvro of Seattle, USA
I wrestle for kicks
With Conga Eels in a tub
The kids sure like it
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The magic number
Is three, or so I''m informed
It''s remarkable
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I tattooed myself
With a chainsaw and some paint
It says "I love Mnnnfp"
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I broke my joystick
By waggling it too roughly
Is there a moral?
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Microwave ovens
Heat food using microwaves
Now that`s a fact Jack
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
That sneaky trumpet
Dribbled warmly down my thigh
PVC pants, yeah!
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
tea and cucumber
sandwiches and debutantes
jaw clenching, "thanks mom"
by secret of another instructional video, will be the end of us all!
If it''s Saturday
It must be Sao Paolo
Or at least Cardiff
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I am a viking
I have two enormous horns
Stuck on my helmet
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When masticating
Please, try to keep your mouth closed
Else the food falls out
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Is the glass half full?
Or is it just half empty?
Who cares? Bring more beer.
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I pushed a pencil
Up my nose to sharpen it
Now I use crayons
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
just got out of bed
a new day nods its welcome
but first, take a whiz
by Anonymous Poet
Matt Stone, Trey Parker.
They are such clever buggers.
I just thought I''d say.
by Scrunty Hardbody
when the dog explores
her tail wags, her eyes light up
bugs are edible
by chris
Charging like bunnies,
with windswept ears and sharp teeth
Kiss my ass, Copper!!
by Fruity
Real Hot and Shiny
Like a bucket of chicken
Hey Fruity!! Look there!
Lumbering uphill
Back-tits making a sine wave
There!! It''s a fat guy!!
Gee, I wonder if
He could eat a whole roast pig
maybe a baby.
by Fruity
warm borborygmi
gurgling deep in my gizzard
preludes to a fart
by ash
a long way from home
a whole continent removed
sorry. no punch line.
by chris
