Couldn't hear a thing,
So Dad fucked me in the ear.
Earwax tastes bitter.

Wondering if the
extension of "life" concern
is for your friends too

christmas is coming
turkeys and geese fattening
mellie is slimming

huge tropical drops
soaking parched earth scribbly gums
loud thunder rumbling

dog's gone bananas
baby sleeps on blissfully
steaming bitumen

excited girl stands
playing sweet ocarina
on the verandah

cold rainstorm
yet summer is on the way
the cockroaches know

ev'rybody dies
you should just accept the facts
and live while you can

human family,
six billion degrees of
separation....nuts!

you higher primates,
obsessed with your extinction...
there's billions of you!

bananas won't do
it don't matter what you do
gotta throw some poo

face down in your puke
the acid burns my eyeballs
but what a fine treat

the raw stench of piss
swallow air keep from puking
giant pile of feces

You stand on Haystack
after the party ends and
you know why you were there

Still hand fed by those
in the news, uncertain too
providing thought bites

Writer's block sets in with
the cold weather and other dis
And more red suits worn

Well, the young died
in Ohio at the hands of
Militia, their age...in 1968?

We're not apes like you
say, we're good people, you see?
Ooh, ooh, ah, AHHH, AHHHHH!

Yes much agreed,
These apes will devour you
Unless...bananas...

Ahh me alkieboy,
You arrive at last with gifts
I hope, for the apes..

You poor fool! What's this!
MADNESS @ BADHAIKU.COM
One toke over the...

Rolling into here,
I find my two friends, you two
need to fill me in..

My friend and humble
narrator, planet of the
apes has, yes, begun.

If someone here died
it doesn't matter how good
or bad their haiku was...

A life ended...that's what matters...

Me devotchka,
I left you oh too long and
Now monkeys rule here..

I almost did die...
Happened in an accident with
a semi and my knee...

well, you gotta be in my shoes
to be born-again, even an arse
like me...amazing grace...Jesus loves you
everyone else hates your haiku?
that goes for you all

sensual haiku
the words melt on the web site
you wanna cyber?

love nascar races
then drink beer and beat kids
big day for redneck

My sky is now blue
thick with bad poetry goo
I missed mellie too

betty you're my friend
miss you when you're not here
others I miss too

woke up fully dressed
wondered who put me to bed
who took my watch off?

"just take off my watch"
I remember saying that
then it was morning

the stones washed up on
the riverbank look like your
eyes on a moonless

night

poink! the pencil's sharp
cling cling cling she says, eyebrows raised
drunkeness suits me

energy crisis?
sorry, i need a P4
to compose haiku

my gas bills are down
since I got a new P4
but that's the good news

you'll need to speak up.
my computer has THREE fans!
P4 is hot shit!

some good news betty
if no-one sends you e-mail
you don't get nimda

if you pass away
how could we fail to notice
your haiku improve ?

an H in the sky!
the Haiku Avenger leaps
into inaction...

just drop it...
If I dropped dead today...
you wouldn't even know or care...

and you'd still pretend to be me...doesn't
that seem stupid...?

Interpersonal
communicator device
reminds-- I lack friends

you're much too eze
we know where the sun shines out
moxie can't write this well

lusting after my
lovers, whose genitals are
like those of donkeys,

Their emissions, like
that of horses, they ride off
into my sunset....

after Ezekiel 23:20

lusting after my
lovers, whose genitals are
like those of donkeys,

Their emissions, like
that of horses, we ride off
into our sunset...

after Ezekiel 23:20

I left a black trail
shiney, glassy and tarry
after all that beer

My tongue licks and darts
flicking letters a trough z
up your inner thigh

Hosing up the road
pouring out thick and coating
flooding the reserve

Two cats could be bad
if connected heads to tails
spinning like a saw

worker bees are free
even drones can fly away
the queen is there slave

birthday week countdown
glad that you're glad and i'm glad
to be together

Stinky ass beer farts
Make me cringe when I breathe in
Smells like someone died

x