admit i inhale
imbibing johnnie walker
listening to jazz

my friend you are dim
in fact you are so damn dim
for you we dumb up

The open window
The cold air of early spring
a rash on the wang that won't go away

I drag my foot on the grass
In reverence to the land
Oh1 How I hate to step on dog shit

The lighting of a candle
The reawakening of the senses
the smell of fart gone by

The lighting of a candle
the smell of fart gone by

catching cockroaches
despite my increasing skill
remains disgusting

I sit on the pot
beating away on my crank
coming and going

sweaty and tired
i can finally relax
man am i hungry

i poop like a dog
quivering with an arched back
until its over

i sit on the pot
waiting for the violence
that is Taco Bell

Fred

She destroyed the files
Because she doesn't like you
Hell hath no fury

The burning kitchen
It was not an accident
I know who did it

any jock can play
at testicular juggling
if they got the balls

nice zippered scrotum!
can remove testes quickly!
safe storage in purse!

I kicked my nephew's ass hard
I yelled "see? that's life my friend!"
he cried his eyes out

defecation yeah
rehabilitation smear
sit a bit my dear

jane you make me ill
your tiny violin weeps
we all feel your pain

How convenient
insane- only long enough
rid the world of bitch

and then i lost it
like so many times before
just for a brief spell

cleaned up by a car
mynah guts spread 'cross the road
good riddance import

Hark! No Rev'rend! Has
He tired of playing with the
kids? How can this be?

Why yes, cows can fly
Haiku is so righteous, dude
Go wipe your asshole

funky fat bunny
cool tornado grass hair style
cross-eyed orgasms

Ugly Fat Chick in Princeton
Eating Greasy Pizza
Farting Haiku

never eat lettuce
when you suffer from the shits
it will ache your guts

full mental jacket
caps lock and load your ravings
but haiku it ain't

feel free to post them
(your childish, inane rantings)
but please don't SCREAM them

vacuous, mindless
Clueless, boring, stupid tripe
better post it twice

HOW WE SIT AND THINKWHERE DO WE GET?iMGANATIONS FLYbUT WHERE DO THEY GO?TO ANOTHER WORLD OR PLANET?DO WE CARE?OF COURSE WE DOWHERE WOULD WE BEIF NO ONE WAS THINKING?NOWHERESO WHERE DO WE GO?SOMEWHERE RIGHT!HOW DO WE GET THERE?I AM NOT SURE!WHY DO WE GO?WE

HOW WE SIT AND THINKWHERE DO WE GET?iMGANATIONS FLYbUT WHERE DO THEY GO?TO ANOTHER WORLD OR PLANET?DO WE CARE?OF COURSE WE DOWHERE WOULD WE BEIF NO ONE WAS THINKING?NOWHERESO WHERE DO WE GO?SOMEWHERE RIGHT!HOW DO WE GET THERE?I AM NOT SURE!WHY DO WE GO?WE

SUDDENESS IT STILLLIFE HAS CHANGEDBUT FOR WHAT? A CHILDCHANGE IN LIFEFOR A CHILDWILL BE BORN

i could break your backmy scrotum is on your facei could break your back

i could break your backi have no nosehair at alli could break your back

a weird paradox
tragedy is ev'rywhere
and happiness too

let me get that right
reality is a toad
sucking on your head

what you lack in style
you certainly make up for
with drama and wit

So don't you tell me
'bout how reality sucks
It can't get much worse

Friend died in car wreck
Another tried suicide
That has been my week

reality sits
like a ridiculous toad
on your little head

I too can write rhyme
I just needed some more time
Perhaps to try mime

OldNasty is cool
why do you spaz out so much?
I should do homework

my mom and her pets
won't answer my damn phone calls
i still need a loan
your ghost means we work

StanLee you're manly
ground beef needs your ritual
your ghost means we work

lameness is lameness
and to rhyme would be shameless
and oh! So...Janeless

rain rain rain rain rain
rain rain rain rain rain rain rain
sydney is like that

frisky phrost is lame
hmm, but is lame good or bad?
I need to go shit

o chilly willy
haiku sucks a diff'rent way
go inhale a phart

hiakus can suck my phat cock