don't be so, nasty!
the only flame needed here
is that old bonfire

a jack in a box
will be worth two in the hand
hang on hollywood

fluffy cute kitttens
black velvet Elvis paintings
i puke in the sink

that Bonfire person
twice now has shown us his spunk
jacking off wildly

I like to be by
myself in my apartment
alone with sauerkraut

i was having fun
too bad you scrutinize the
content of bad poems

the sun can't decide
blackbirds crowd the power lines
I jack off wildly

A hack, a cough, a
wheeze and a dank rotten queef.
The bitch must be back.

source variety
not the same flavoured repeats
is the spice of life

i asked the nice man
for hypoallergenic
handcuffs and he laughed

why oh why oh why
didnt my bad poems make it?
were they just too bad?

sixteen men in jail
will attest that there is no
thing like manly love

sometimes when I sneeze
objects fly out my nose and
hit my girlfriends face

those damn chirping birds
are the true reason I dont
wash my car often

dont ask me for change
it took me forty minutes
to collect my own

the natives are drunk
the elders sing songs of love
later they'll shoot guns

today we eat spam
I throw mine at the t.v.
it stick to the screen

what is it with pigs?

she told me she'd stay
then she stole my wallet
but not my bottle

the evil of it
you suck me long time baby
i like cheezy poofs

I crave indulgence
Of the other Haikuists.
Louise, send me mail!

What's your beef, wise one?
Mad cows got you climbing walls?
Cow, you, who is who?

Oh Aussie Lao_Tse
Wisdom, like antipodean
Wine, ages badly.

Angel has a poop a pretty poop parade,
with lolypoops and caramel terds,
she's having a poop of a time

we're clean out of love
you tell me this, turn, and sleep
I jack off wildly

nasal and ear hair
the hirsute of pappy-ness
'though not on my head

I have visions of
A celebrity plane crash
Bye bye Jim Carrey

scadalous joey
thinks about the best of times
while sitting in jail

one more time i drink
the juice of fermenting grains
to deal with the wife

please get me away
from this goddamn plastic box
before i explode

my pasty fat gut
yearns for Hollywood's bright wit
to split it open

pop music plays on
i fondle my revolver
man in the box die!

university
officials are gathering
some nuts and berries

i'm no damn student
maybe that's why they asked me
to leave the campus

must stop this madness
thinking only in Haiku
need more syllables

My haiku is bad
like the wind from my ass
breaking away free

what a great outlet
this haiku stuff seems to be
i'm no poet

one banana two
Potassium's dark blue
My monkey's named lou

in a brief moment
i fear what my boss would say
too bad he's in Guam

Hollywood Bonfire
your talent brings me laughter
hats off to you sir

sometimes I feel bad
after drinking the last beer
I'll get over it

BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH
BLAHBLAHBLAH
BLAH BLAHBLAHBLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, huh?

I just ran over
Hiesenberg's cat in my car
I left him a note