BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
20 Years
315 Days
and
57405 Haikus
later...
Sauropod flatus
similarly started
the dinosaurs end.

Methane greenhouse gas
had given rise to deserts
and less food to eat.

The asteroid then
finished off the lizards' reign.
What comes after us?

Will they dig up our
fossils to see our mistakes
and then learn from them?

Or will they get drunk,
watch football and politics,
and eat cheese burgers?
Haiku #56243, by df of ahornweg close
March 19, 2017 8:06 am ET

cow farts are killers
they will slowly seal our fate
getting their revenge
Haiku #56242, by T
March 18, 2017 9:08 pm ET

We should get back to
talking about flatulence
as a form of fuel.
Haiku #56241, by df of 4300 commista
March 18, 2017 8:26 pm ET

gallons of water
across the world had salt etc etc
fukashima...well then

nuclear powered
water, poisoned so what do
we do about that???
Haiku #56240, by vhs
March 18, 2017 4:14 pm ET

well drink water or
something else but something else
has water in it
Haiku #56239, by vhs
March 18, 2017 12:48 pm ET

Oceans of potions
Can not give us the notions
To fix our big mess
Haiku #56238, by T
March 17, 2017 11:24 pm ET

There is no life here.
It is all in the ocean.
For a short while.
Haiku #56237, by Anonymous Poet
March 17, 2017 9:56 pm ET

that it does and all
the short cuts were the path the
prodigal son took
Haiku #56236, by vhs
March 17, 2017 8:16 pm ET

the difficult path
turns out to be easier
in the long running
Haiku #56235, by mundane
March 17, 2017 4:56 pm ET

no, sometimes what's odd
is even keeled but thinks
like number seven
Haiku #56234, by vhs
March 17, 2017 12:30 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #56233, by Anonymous Poet
March 17, 2017 11:21 am ET

It's odd how haiku
look like a hand turned sideways
giving the finger.
Haiku #56232, by df of slame in use
March 17, 2017 7:53 am ET

Over consumption
of Central American
cuisine bloats my gut.

Like a puffer fish,
a balloon ready to pop,
I thusly explode.

As lava erupts,
rivulets run hot and foul,
filling the caverns.

Below city streets,
the newborn life, if called that,
becomes self-aware.
Haiku #56231, by Darth Figpucker of Yield Calle
March 17, 2017 7:45 am ET

I calculated
how many farts it would take
to make the Big Bang.
Haiku #56230, by Darth Figpucker of Boddington Mare
March 17, 2017 5:00 am ET

She sat in her pee,
homeless woman on the bus,
her private limo.
Haiku #56229, by Anonymous Poet
March 16, 2017 7:38 pm ET

all the angry plots
movements in the past have all
turned to toast for "death"

it is the passage of time
Haiku #56228, by vhs
March 16, 2017 12:43 pm ET

so i hate losing
my lunch and calming down then
realizing hulk smashed
Haiku #56227, by vhs
March 16, 2017 12:39 pm ET

I think what pisses
me off most about psychos
trolls, terrorists and

the assholes who can
get away with muder and
keep drinking the blood

of the less courrpt
around them, so the joke is
do we become more

evil in order to
deal with the truly evil
and no one won

hmm?
Haiku #56226, by vhs
March 16, 2017 12:23 pm ET

and the tempting is
to punch the person who screams
"go fuck yourself" and

the Christ says turn the
other cheek, but respond, he
strikes first, you bring out

the weapon, draw blood
he cries victim, so there's the
damn paradox there

walk away from the God
damn psycho whom drove others
off here or keep on

engaging him till
perhaps his last day comes and
new voices can say what

they will because the
psycho is dead, time kills all
of us, good and bad

so fuck the SJWS
fuck the Communists
fuck Silicon Valley
fuck people who say fuck you
you will die
i will die
fuck you doesn't stop death
it may be today
it may be tomorrow
how will you be remembered
and will your death be new life
or death eternal
fuck us all
we all die
let that be a lesson to you
Haiku #56225, by vhs
March 16, 2017 12:17 pm ET

Go fuck yourself!
Haiku #56224, by Anonymous Poet
March 16, 2017 9:04 am ET

Hello!
Haiku #56223, by Anonymous Poet
March 16, 2017 5:44 am ET

Why does the word "calle"
always appear in captcha phrases
and what does it mean?
Haiku #56222, by Darth Figpucker of 5800 Delmar
March 16, 2017 3:29 am ET

Keep the cash, return
the wallet filled with pooped on
Monopoly cash.

Demand a reward
in gross sexual favors
paid on Christmas Eve.

If you think that's bad,
you should see what I do with
the cell phones I find.
Haiku #56221, by df of little calle
March 16, 2017 3:26 am ET

riding on the bus
you find wallet full of cash
What you do with it?
Haiku #56220, by T
March 16, 2017 1:06 am ET

Why would you think that
I'd be an HA member?
(Haiku 'Nonomous.)

For step number 8,
Suck Matsuo Basho's farts
from an old clay jug.

They taste like frog legs
eaten under the moonlight
with magic mushrooms.
Haiku #56219, by df of centro property
March 15, 2017 7:11 pm ET

i suspect all my
talk of posting here will just
be me myself and

I...De La Soul in
the house when Rap had a chance
to be something, else

then again there's "Nerdcore"
Haiku #56218, by vhs
March 15, 2017 1:35 pm ET

i got a spam call
from Virginia today i
said i don't know a

person named Virginia
Haiku #56217, by vhs
March 14, 2017 6:46 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #56216, by Anonymous Poet
March 14, 2017 3:37 pm ET

well you know it's like
charlie at the bar where's he
at, oh he went to

AA but he'll be
back sucking down PBR
after Step 8 is done
Haiku #56215, by vhs
March 14, 2017 1:32 pm ET

I am not okay.
I don't see why I should be.
I'm fucking awesome!

Seriously though,
did you think something was wrong?
My life is boring.

Get out of my brain
you Goddamn syphillis germs!
Her name was Phyllis.
Haiku #56214, by df of cottage calle
March 14, 2017 1:34 am ET

My vagina stinks.
Oh wait, I'm not a woman.
That would explain it.
--Bruce Jenner
Haiku #56213, by df of slim deposita
March 14, 2017 1:26 am ET

Hello!
Haiku #56212, by Anonymous Poet
March 14, 2017 12:56 am ET

the next haiku just
seems an obligation that just
to keep on truckin'
Haiku #56211, by vhs of hope df is ok
March 13, 2017 1:32 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #56210, by Anonymous Poet
March 13, 2017 11:14 am ET

one hour can make a
huge difference in how i
feel in the morning
Haiku #56209, by vhs
March 12, 2017 1:36 pm ET

Daylight savings time
Recognizing our orbit
Is a subtle thing
Haiku #56208, by T
March 12, 2017 4:56 am ET

the dark side and the
light side i bought a book on
baby boomers as

a generation
of psychopaths and that of
course is an over

simplification
but it does make sense on some
grander level yet

Neil Howe says they are
"prophets" and do get wild eyed
with that religion

thing there, metaphor
so keep writing Satanic
haiku about the

intimidation
factor, there you know, i know
what i want as well
Haiku #56207, by vhs
March 11, 2017 11:56 am ET

Animals aren't rude.
They only know what they want.
You'd make a fine steak.
Haiku #56206, by df of cunha ratier
March 11, 2017 12:21 am ET

Inappropriate
radioactivity
illumination.

Ill lumen naughty.
Grow an extra testicle.
You just might need it.
Haiku #56205, by df of 3000 centre
March 11, 2017 12:17 am ET

Randell liked hotdogs.
Physicist with fuzzy cyst.
White bread Velveeta.

He's better off dead.
Sorority house orgy dreams.
He loved his Playboys.

"He looked like an ape."
But that would be rude to apes.
Canned meat and cum smell.
Haiku #56204, by df of stone katia
March 10, 2017 11:24 pm ET

well you know those darn
Tribbles get out of hand and
you need a dang ship

of a klingon sort
to beam em off too so they'll
be no tribble at'all
Haiku #56203, by vhs
March 10, 2017 11:17 am ET

Starship Enterprise
call me a nerd if you wish,
but I love that shit
Haiku #56202, by Tribble of Trouble
March 9, 2017 8:14 pm ET

Dingline chloride
artificial flavor for
dingleberry pie.
Haiku #56201, by df of calle area
March 9, 2017 5:42 pm ET

Something offensive.
Again, but even more so.
Kittens and puppies.
Haiku #56200, by df of rosas carniceria
March 9, 2017 5:37 pm ET

the first big story
was the Sumerian
Gods but i forget

Tiamat is just known
by most as a 5 headed
dragon with lots of

hit points in DnD
and people might think of a
giant marshmallow

man when they hear some
thing like "sumerian God"
parody of Lovecraft

rest in peace Egon
Haiku #56199, by vhs
March 9, 2017 1:23 pm ET

as per promise

GRR! BURGER BURGER!!!!!
BURGER! BURGER BURGER (pause)
BURGER!!!! BURGER!!!! (pause)

burger...
Haiku #56198, by vhs of to those who know me you know this is my idea
March 9, 2017 1:20 pm ET

listen you know you
forget law vs grace and
all that sort of thing

the legal vis a
loving God, then we get to
witchcraft and flying

spaghetti monsters
and then the Goddess of the
Golden Apple there

old Eris, and all
some one to do is not Hail
Satan or Eris but

just hail a taxi
go home and jerk off to some
vhs porn off the grid
Haiku #56197, by vhs
March 9, 2017 1:19 pm ET

Do not masturbate.
For that is against Jesus.
Instead kill sinners.
Haiku #56196, by df of 6400 chemin
March 8, 2017 10:23 pm ET

My wife's a fat pig.
Pigs are cute and smell better.
Think I'll buy a pig.
Haiku #56195, by Darth Figpucker of sunar damri
March 8, 2017 10:21 pm ET

lather, rinse, repeat
down my road to self defeat
turn around, retreat
Haiku #56194, by Anonymous Poet
March 8, 2017 10:05 pm ET