BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
20 Years
130 Days
and
56261 Haikus
later...
She sat in her pee,
homeless woman on the bus,
her private limo.
Haiku #56229, by Anonymous Poet
March 16, 2017 7:38 pm ET

all the angry plots
movements in the past have all
turned to toast for "death"

it is the passage of time
Haiku #56228, by vhs
March 16, 2017 12:43 pm ET

so i hate losing
my lunch and calming down then
realizing hulk smashed
Haiku #56227, by vhs
March 16, 2017 12:39 pm ET

I think what pisses
me off most about psychos
trolls, terrorists and

the assholes who can
get away with muder and
keep drinking the blood

of the less courrpt
around them, so the joke is
do we become more

evil in order to
deal with the truly evil
and no one won

hmm?
Haiku #56226, by vhs
March 16, 2017 12:23 pm ET

and the tempting is
to punch the person who screams
"go fuck yourself" and

the Christ says turn the
other cheek, but respond, he
strikes first, you bring out

the weapon, draw blood
he cries victim, so there's the
damn paradox there

walk away from the God
damn psycho whom drove others
off here or keep on

engaging him till
perhaps his last day comes and
new voices can say what

they will because the
psycho is dead, time kills all
of us, good and bad

so fuck the SJWS
fuck the Communists
fuck Silicon Valley
fuck people who say fuck you
you will die
i will die
fuck you doesn't stop death
it may be today
it may be tomorrow
how will you be remembered
and will your death be new life
or death eternal
fuck us all
we all die
let that be a lesson to you
Haiku #56225, by vhs
March 16, 2017 12:17 pm ET

Go fuck yourself!
Haiku #56224, by Anonymous Poet
March 16, 2017 9:04 am ET

Hello!
Haiku #56223, by Anonymous Poet
March 16, 2017 5:44 am ET

Why does the word "calle"
always appear in captcha phrases
and what does it mean?
Haiku #56222, by Darth Figpucker of 5800 Delmar
March 16, 2017 3:29 am ET

Keep the cash, return
the wallet filled with pooped on
Monopoly cash.

Demand a reward
in gross sexual favors
paid on Christmas Eve.

If you think that's bad,
you should see what I do with
the cell phones I find.
Haiku #56221, by df of little calle
March 16, 2017 3:26 am ET

riding on the bus
you find wallet full of cash
What you do with it?
Haiku #56220, by T
March 16, 2017 1:06 am ET

Why would you think that
I'd be an HA member?
(Haiku 'Nonomous.)

For step number 8,
Suck Matsuo Basho's farts
from an old clay jug.

They taste like frog legs
eaten under the moonlight
with magic mushrooms.
Haiku #56219, by df of centro property
March 15, 2017 7:11 pm ET

i suspect all my
talk of posting here will just
be me myself and

I...De La Soul in
the house when Rap had a chance
to be something, else

then again there's "Nerdcore"
Haiku #56218, by vhs
March 15, 2017 1:35 pm ET

i got a spam call
from Virginia today i
said i don't know a

person named Virginia
Haiku #56217, by vhs
March 14, 2017 6:46 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #56216, by Anonymous Poet
March 14, 2017 3:37 pm ET

well you know it's like
charlie at the bar where's he
at, oh he went to

AA but he'll be
back sucking down PBR
after Step 8 is done
Haiku #56215, by vhs
March 14, 2017 1:32 pm ET

I am not okay.
I don't see why I should be.
I'm fucking awesome!

Seriously though,
did you think something was wrong?
My life is boring.

Get out of my brain
you Goddamn syphillis germs!
Her name was Phyllis.
Haiku #56214, by df of cottage calle
March 14, 2017 1:34 am ET

My vagina stinks.
Oh wait, I'm not a woman.
That would explain it.
--Bruce Jenner
Haiku #56213, by df of slim deposita
March 14, 2017 1:26 am ET

Hello!
Haiku #56212, by Anonymous Poet
March 14, 2017 12:56 am ET

the next haiku just
seems an obligation that just
to keep on truckin'
Haiku #56211, by vhs of hope df is ok
March 13, 2017 1:32 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #56210, by Anonymous Poet
March 13, 2017 11:14 am ET

one hour can make a
huge difference in how i
feel in the morning
Haiku #56209, by vhs
March 12, 2017 1:36 pm ET

Daylight savings time
Recognizing our orbit
Is a subtle thing
Haiku #56208, by T
March 12, 2017 4:56 am ET

the dark side and the
light side i bought a book on
baby boomers as

a generation
of psychopaths and that of
course is an over

simplification
but it does make sense on some
grander level yet

Neil Howe says they are
"prophets" and do get wild eyed
with that religion

thing there, metaphor
so keep writing Satanic
haiku about the

intimidation
factor, there you know, i know
what i want as well
Haiku #56207, by vhs
March 11, 2017 11:56 am ET

Animals aren't rude.
They only know what they want.
You'd make a fine steak.
Haiku #56206, by df of cunha ratier
March 11, 2017 12:21 am ET

Inappropriate
radioactivity
illumination.

Ill lumen naughty.
Grow an extra testicle.
You just might need it.
Haiku #56205, by df of 3000 centre
March 11, 2017 12:17 am ET

Randell liked hotdogs.
Physicist with fuzzy cyst.
White bread Velveeta.

He's better off dead.
Sorority house orgy dreams.
He loved his Playboys.

"He looked like an ape."
But that would be rude to apes.
Canned meat and cum smell.
Haiku #56204, by df of stone katia
March 10, 2017 11:24 pm ET

well you know those darn
Tribbles get out of hand and
you need a dang ship

of a klingon sort
to beam em off too so they'll
be no tribble at'all
Haiku #56203, by vhs
March 10, 2017 11:17 am ET

Starship Enterprise
call me a nerd if you wish,
but I love that shit
Haiku #56202, by Tribble of Trouble
March 9, 2017 8:14 pm ET

Dingline chloride
artificial flavor for
dingleberry pie.
Haiku #56201, by df of calle area
March 9, 2017 5:42 pm ET

Something offensive.
Again, but even more so.
Kittens and puppies.
Haiku #56200, by df of rosas carniceria
March 9, 2017 5:37 pm ET

the first big story
was the Sumerian
Gods but i forget

Tiamat is just known
by most as a 5 headed
dragon with lots of

hit points in DnD
and people might think of a
giant marshmallow

man when they hear some
thing like "sumerian God"
parody of Lovecraft

rest in peace Egon
Haiku #56199, by vhs
March 9, 2017 1:23 pm ET

as per promise

GRR! BURGER BURGER!!!!!
BURGER! BURGER BURGER (pause)
BURGER!!!! BURGER!!!! (pause)

burger...
Haiku #56198, by vhs of to those who know me you know this is my idea
March 9, 2017 1:20 pm ET

listen you know you
forget law vs grace and
all that sort of thing

the legal vis a
loving God, then we get to
witchcraft and flying

spaghetti monsters
and then the Goddess of the
Golden Apple there

old Eris, and all
some one to do is not Hail
Satan or Eris but

just hail a taxi
go home and jerk off to some
vhs porn off the grid
Haiku #56197, by vhs
March 9, 2017 1:19 pm ET

Do not masturbate.
For that is against Jesus.
Instead kill sinners.
Haiku #56196, by df of 6400 chemin
March 8, 2017 10:23 pm ET

My wife's a fat pig.
Pigs are cute and smell better.
Think I'll buy a pig.
Haiku #56195, by Darth Figpucker of sunar damri
March 8, 2017 10:21 pm ET

lather, rinse, repeat
down my road to self defeat
turn around, retreat
Haiku #56194, by Anonymous Poet
March 8, 2017 10:05 pm ET

Beer will cure cancer.
Use it for blood transfusion.
Worked for my uncle.
Haiku #56193, by df of frei john
March 8, 2017 2:02 pm ET

well mead is good, some
claim but you know wiccan chats
girls named Silver Wolf

Fiona Ravenbrush,
or Skywise (wait that's Elfquest) ah
Wendy Pini, bows
Haiku #56192, by vhs
March 8, 2017 1:06 pm ET

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Haiku #56191, by Peterdus of Nepal
March 7, 2017 9:12 pm ET

*meet
... goddammit
Haiku #56190, by df of taurus allumez
March 7, 2017 8:32 pm ET

I have shit to do.
So until we meed again...
{Bends over and farts.}
Haiku #56189, by df of total safety
March 7, 2017 8:31 pm ET

Crocodile meat
isn't bad, but expensive
and a bit chewy.

Not as bad as squid.
I think you know what I mean.
Lean green jelly bean.
Haiku #56188, by df of whirl beaumont
March 7, 2017 8:25 pm ET

I'm in no mood for
being deep and shit today.
I want to eat dog.
Haiku #56187, by df of 6900 gaio
March 7, 2017 8:23 pm ET

Dinosaurs are cool.
If you could travel through time...
Jesus or T-Rex?

I'd bring them both back.
Let them fight on Pay-Per-View.
I'll take the lizard.
Haiku #56186, by df of 4270 lumbier
March 7, 2017 8:20 pm ET

I've said that before.
But I haven't said this yet.
I guess I just did.
Haiku #56185, by df of pague acorn
March 7, 2017 8:17 pm ET

I should be working.
Instead I'm drinking coffee.
For this I get paid.
Haiku #56184, by df of autorise delfin
March 7, 2017 8:15 pm ET

The witch's nose mole,
the shrill cackling laughter,
the rotting black teeth.

One should not visit
sickly whores of Siquijor;
they'll cook and eat you.
Haiku #56183, by df of birkhaven cham
March 7, 2017 8:14 pm ET

They start beautiful.
Then look more like pigs each day.
They eat too much pork.
Haiku #56182, by df of arar route
March 7, 2017 8:09 pm ET

Confucius once say
"Man who masturbates daily
has life well in hand."
Haiku #56181, by df of winder avenue
March 7, 2017 8:05 pm ET

After nine-one-one,
remember Bush's great speech?
nuclear fusion.
All the world's problems.
He solved in twenty minutes.
What an awesome dude!
Or a giant douche.
Not one of his predictions
ever came to be.
Problems can be solved.
But still more are created.
Cash in your chips now.
Haiku #56180, by df of calle public
March 7, 2017 8:03 pm ET