BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
20 Years
314 Days
and
57402 Haikus
later...
Hello!
Haiku #56210, by Anonymous Poet
March 13, 2017 11:14 am ET

one hour can make a
huge difference in how i
feel in the morning
Haiku #56209, by vhs
March 12, 2017 1:36 pm ET

Daylight savings time
Recognizing our orbit
Is a subtle thing
Haiku #56208, by T
March 12, 2017 4:56 am ET

the dark side and the
light side i bought a book on
baby boomers as

a generation
of psychopaths and that of
course is an over

simplification
but it does make sense on some
grander level yet

Neil Howe says they are
"prophets" and do get wild eyed
with that religion

thing there, metaphor
so keep writing Satanic
haiku about the

intimidation
factor, there you know, i know
what i want as well
Haiku #56207, by vhs
March 11, 2017 11:56 am ET

Animals aren't rude.
They only know what they want.
You'd make a fine steak.
Haiku #56206, by df of cunha ratier
March 11, 2017 12:21 am ET

Inappropriate
radioactivity
illumination.

Ill lumen naughty.
Grow an extra testicle.
You just might need it.
Haiku #56205, by df of 3000 centre
March 11, 2017 12:17 am ET

Randell liked hotdogs.
Physicist with fuzzy cyst.
White bread Velveeta.

He's better off dead.
Sorority house orgy dreams.
He loved his Playboys.

"He looked like an ape."
But that would be rude to apes.
Canned meat and cum smell.
Haiku #56204, by df of stone katia
March 10, 2017 11:24 pm ET

well you know those darn
Tribbles get out of hand and
you need a dang ship

of a klingon sort
to beam em off too so they'll
be no tribble at'all
Haiku #56203, by vhs
March 10, 2017 11:17 am ET

Starship Enterprise
call me a nerd if you wish,
but I love that shit
Haiku #56202, by Tribble of Trouble
March 9, 2017 8:14 pm ET

Dingline chloride
artificial flavor for
dingleberry pie.
Haiku #56201, by df of calle area
March 9, 2017 5:42 pm ET

Something offensive.
Again, but even more so.
Kittens and puppies.
Haiku #56200, by df of rosas carniceria
March 9, 2017 5:37 pm ET

the first big story
was the Sumerian
Gods but i forget

Tiamat is just known
by most as a 5 headed
dragon with lots of

hit points in DnD
and people might think of a
giant marshmallow

man when they hear some
thing like "sumerian God"
parody of Lovecraft

rest in peace Egon
Haiku #56199, by vhs
March 9, 2017 1:23 pm ET

as per promise

GRR! BURGER BURGER!!!!!
BURGER! BURGER BURGER (pause)
BURGER!!!! BURGER!!!! (pause)

burger...
Haiku #56198, by vhs of to those who know me you know this is my idea
March 9, 2017 1:20 pm ET

listen you know you
forget law vs grace and
all that sort of thing

the legal vis a
loving God, then we get to
witchcraft and flying

spaghetti monsters
and then the Goddess of the
Golden Apple there

old Eris, and all
some one to do is not Hail
Satan or Eris but

just hail a taxi
go home and jerk off to some
vhs porn off the grid
Haiku #56197, by vhs
March 9, 2017 1:19 pm ET

Do not masturbate.
For that is against Jesus.
Instead kill sinners.
Haiku #56196, by df of 6400 chemin
March 8, 2017 10:23 pm ET

My wife's a fat pig.
Pigs are cute and smell better.
Think I'll buy a pig.
Haiku #56195, by Darth Figpucker of sunar damri
March 8, 2017 10:21 pm ET

lather, rinse, repeat
down my road to self defeat
turn around, retreat
Haiku #56194, by Anonymous Poet
March 8, 2017 10:05 pm ET

Beer will cure cancer.
Use it for blood transfusion.
Worked for my uncle.
Haiku #56193, by df of frei john
March 8, 2017 2:02 pm ET

well mead is good, some
claim but you know wiccan chats
girls named Silver Wolf

Fiona Ravenbrush,
or Skywise (wait that's Elfquest) ah
Wendy Pini, bows
Haiku #56192, by vhs
March 8, 2017 1:06 pm ET

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Haiku #56191, by Peterdus of Nepal
March 7, 2017 9:12 pm ET

*meet
... goddammit
Haiku #56190, by df of taurus allumez
March 7, 2017 8:32 pm ET

I have shit to do.
So until we meed again...
{Bends over and farts.}
Haiku #56189, by df of total safety
March 7, 2017 8:31 pm ET

Crocodile meat
isn't bad, but expensive
and a bit chewy.

Not as bad as squid.
I think you know what I mean.
Lean green jelly bean.
Haiku #56188, by df of whirl beaumont
March 7, 2017 8:25 pm ET

I'm in no mood for
being deep and shit today.
I want to eat dog.
Haiku #56187, by df of 6900 gaio
March 7, 2017 8:23 pm ET

Dinosaurs are cool.
If you could travel through time...
Jesus or T-Rex?

I'd bring them both back.
Let them fight on Pay-Per-View.
I'll take the lizard.
Haiku #56186, by df of 4270 lumbier
March 7, 2017 8:20 pm ET

I've said that before.
But I haven't said this yet.
I guess I just did.
Haiku #56185, by df of pague acorn
March 7, 2017 8:17 pm ET

I should be working.
Instead I'm drinking coffee.
For this I get paid.
Haiku #56184, by df of autorise delfin
March 7, 2017 8:15 pm ET

The witch's nose mole,
the shrill cackling laughter,
the rotting black teeth.

One should not visit
sickly whores of Siquijor;
they'll cook and eat you.
Haiku #56183, by df of birkhaven cham
March 7, 2017 8:14 pm ET

They start beautiful.
Then look more like pigs each day.
They eat too much pork.
Haiku #56182, by df of arar route
March 7, 2017 8:09 pm ET

Confucius once say
"Man who masturbates daily
has life well in hand."
Haiku #56181, by df of winder avenue
March 7, 2017 8:05 pm ET

After nine-one-one,
remember Bush's great speech?
nuclear fusion.
All the world's problems.
He solved in twenty minutes.
What an awesome dude!
Or a giant douche.
Not one of his predictions
ever came to be.
Problems can be solved.
But still more are created.
Cash in your chips now.
Haiku #56180, by df of calle public
March 7, 2017 8:03 pm ET

seems everyone wants
to write novels now, there's a damn
laptop with dreams of

being a romance
writer somewhere in a chinese
basement office
Haiku #56179, by vhs
March 7, 2017 1:20 pm ET

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Haiku #56178, by Peterdus of Nepal
March 6, 2017 8:03 pm ET

Hello!
Haiku #56177, by Anonymous Poet
March 6, 2017 5:15 pm ET

the world is now seen
to be full of nuts but the
shells are not off yet
Haiku #56176, by vhs of no comment
March 6, 2017 1:26 pm ET

oh doctor strangelove
i knew you then, even now
Yes Mein Furher, I

mean...mister president.
Inspector Clouseau is
so long gone and missed
Haiku #56175, by vhs of is google trying to write it's own novels????
March 6, 2017 1:11 pm ET

Things will be okay
Humans are remarkable
Problems can be solved
Haiku #56174, by Anonymous Poet
March 6, 2017 1:05 am ET

If earth is flooded,
I hope all mosquitoes drown.
We'll be like Venus.

Hot, sweaty, acrid.
Worst venereal disease:
Global warming clap.
Haiku #56173, by df of eurener calle
March 6, 2017 12:30 am ET

I'm going outside.
Standing on my head naked.
See my asshole, God!

Fuck, I hate the rain.
Climate change and for the worse.
My asshole is clean.
Haiku #56172, by df of acacia breca
March 6, 2017 12:25 am ET

The Japs understand.
That's why they have coffee shops.
But not for coffee.

Young girls, short dresses,
mirrored floors, see-thru panties.
Can I get more cream?
Haiku #56171, by df of farmacia menu
March 6, 2017 12:21 am ET

We need comedy.
The laughter as nukes go off.
Smile so brightly.
Haiku #56170, by df of calle stop
March 6, 2017 12:17 am ET

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Haiku #56169, by iurtpoio of USA
March 5, 2017 6:47 pm ET

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Haiku #56168, by iurtpoio of USA
March 5, 2017 6:18 pm ET

Well, Origami.
I'd rather have salami.
It's the paper cuts.
Haiku #56167, by Toxidyne of CA
March 5, 2017 5:09 pm ET

the end of time will
begin shortly after miss
lady gaga does

a gig with the band
megadeth, metallica was
the 6th seal broken
Haiku #56166, by vhs
March 5, 2017 2:32 pm ET

and the jokes go on
did you hear the one about
the wiretap? well

of course you did if
you were listening in on
xyz affairs
Haiku #56165, by vhs
March 5, 2017 2:11 pm ET

Full body massage.
Held in a fart the whole time.
Ideal gas law.
Haiku #56164, by df of PV=nRT
March 5, 2017 7:57 am ET

The words of Jesus
written on a bathroom wall.
Save your soul and shit.

I red my captcha.
No kidding: "Graveyard to let".
Now that's irony.
Haiku #56163, by df
March 5, 2017 2:57 am ET

politics by all
other names is war by means
other than violence
Haiku #56162, by vhs of Commandant Heineken
March 4, 2017 6:16 pm ET

it becomes one man's
joke and the rest have moved on
novelty wears off
Haiku #56161, by vhs
March 4, 2017 6:09 pm ET