The Haiku Police
Shoot first, ask questions later
Five, Seven, Five. Bang!

Im gooning
To pictures of wood
Northern pine

Went forest bathing.
Saw some critters and some old
Graves. Fed some skeeters.

Sweat out some toxins.
It was a good day for me.
Fire, brah. No cap.

Lord, I hate this life.
That's why I love you so much...
Because I hate life.

another d-day
but he's still the same donald
another dollard

what a load of shit
such scatology must pass
like wind from my arse

Bitch, I'ma beat chu.
Betta shut yo' bitch-ass mouf.
Write that bad haiku...

It's such a hard game...
Neighbor taught me Pip Stroker.
Her name's Miss Spooner.

Sorry to cancel
Neighborhood strip poker
Somebody’s ass stinks

The honing of craft
Is the thrumping of whumpkin;
Tis' a parallel...

I must write
To help hone my craft
Art is hard

The Queen of Sheba:
I met her again today.
Her name is Belkis

To think is to stink
Like burnt hair and fresh tar chips
God, what did I eat?

You're The Thinker?
About time you left the stall
You're The Stinker

You're stalling for time
Working on your masterpiece
Seated on your throne...

Pooping at my work
Write my book inside the stall
Cant you tell its locked?!

Man, you guys get me
Even with my strange crotch heart
So this is true love?

my heart in my crotch
since my head went up my ass
so I empathize

I see the problem
Your heart has got a crotch bone
That ain't right skippy

Haiku help when sad
But job kick heart in crotch bone
Still empty wallet

Haiku does the job.
Gets my muse so excited...
It thrumps my whumpkin!

Day to day grind is
Like monkey sitting on face
With unwiped ass cheeks

Grandma says you're soft.
I serviced her this morning...
And she moaned for more.

Telegrams are worst
I prefer pony express
Grandma looks sexy

Anagrams are best
Infinite finite choices...
Work with what you've got.

fuck Pauline Hanson
and one nation’s shittery
discount Donald Trump

Replacing you, or
Crashing the economy:
AI takes your job.

Go thrump your whumpkin
Until the cactus juice runs.
Look out, it has spines...

that’s five seven six
apology haiku on
my desk tomorrow

there is no nutmeg
glass ceiling breaks, gamers rise
billions must perish

Years ago
It was just me and
Figpucker

You know what?
My old name was lost
Now im Thrump

call the maître d'
feed ariana grande
till she fits her name

Hi there Danny Boy.
How's all your low-hanging fruit?
Darth Figpucker much?

Oxferd Comma probe
Nothing but misdirection
Release Epstein files

genitalia
the paraphernalia
in australia

my bad man, my bad
that was very low hanging fruit
like it’s testicles

they say the penis
is meatier than the sword
that I do not doubt

They say the pen is
Mightier than the S-word...
But I have my doubts.

General Sam has
A great and powerful sword
Its called Butt Fucker

in radiant skies
birds shitted furiously
white rains of glory

she hungry, grab tool
mammoth hunt happen tonight
grandma has found rock

"Look, right over there!"
she points towards the water
grandma found the loch

I am in Brooklyn.
I said BROOKLYN, you hear me?
And I'm spending cash.

well, that's a haiku
to wake up too this morning.
g'day to you too?

I type this haiku.
I put in front of your brain.
You read and react.

Danielle is a bot.
Danielle is as fake as f---k.
No human says that.

She feeds her green pet.
The creature loves to eat flesh.
Grandma has a croc.

She simmers the meat.
She keeps it in there all day.
Grandma has a crock.

she can't remember
perhaps it's ptsd
grandma has a block