Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 236 Days and 75872 Haiku later...

Nasty ramen girl
No powder, no meat, no food
Just a soggy meal
Haiku # 75443, April 24, 2022 8:11 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Haiku must expand.
Haiku must conquer the world.
And you will submit.
Haiku # 75442, April 24, 2022 5:05 pm ET
by Submission to Haiku of Drinking
Yes, I declare WAR.
I will fight Data-driven.
Fight it unto death.
Haiku # 75441, April 24, 2022 5:01 pm ET
by So Join or Die of 13 Colonies
Mauritius is hell.
But it is also heaven:
blue ocean, white sand.
Haiku # 75440, April 24, 2022 4:13 pm ET
by Get Stuffed and Die of Data from Dada
I don’t want to talk
I mean, I do, I just can’t
Undo this squiggle
Haiku # 75438, April 24, 2022 9:39 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Those Detroit rock stars
Became doddering old men.
It's sad but funny.
Haiku # 75437, April 24, 2022 8:00 am ET
by MC5 of Jumping Around and Shrieking
It’s Mrs. Dash, here
Sodium alternative
For your knob kabob
Haiku # 75436, April 24, 2022 7:01 am ET
by Noticer of pants hibachi
It’s Mrs. Dash, here
Sodium alternative
For your knob kabob
Haiku # 75435, April 24, 2022 7:01 am ET
by Noticer of pants hibachi
Good morning to y'all!
I'm still at this boring job
I want to do more
Haiku # 75434, April 23, 2022 10:52 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
New York Time Gamers
Spelling bee and Wordle girls
I should get a life
Haiku # 75433, April 22, 2022 10:37 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
The Badgers remove
Your penis, barbecue it
Force you to eat it
Haiku # 75432, April 22, 2022 9:40 pm ET
by UNSEASONED
The Battle Badgers
Assemble into one huge
Badger, stare at you
Haiku # 75431, April 22, 2022 9:38 pm ET
by What now, fucker?
100 battle
Hardened badgers will
Remove your penis
Haiku # 75430, April 22, 2022 9:37 pm ET
by First they'll distract you, then they'll rip your cock off
A Battalion of
Battle Badgers charge at you,
Tear off your penis
You howl in pain
Wishing you hadn't fucked with
Badgers, Bad Haiku
Haiku # 75429, April 22, 2022 9:35 pm ET
by This is the penalty for shitposting on www.badhaiku.com of Don't do the crime if you can't do the, uh... penis removal by badger
I have work today
Same old, same old boring job
I need a new job
Haiku # 75427, April 22, 2022 8:00 am ET
by Cyan Chan of Cyan Land
All I see is pain
Al around me pain death hate
McDonalds playhouse
Haiku # 75426, April 22, 2022 7:13 am ET
by It’s time to flop of XOXO
Were the girls starving?
Why did they eat the kitty?
And why were they black?
Haiku # 75425, April 22, 2022 6:04 am ET
by Starekitten of Color Revolution
Your verse is moving:
"Naked Black Girls Eat Pussy".
Yes, I'm deeply touched...
Haiku # 75424, April 22, 2022 5:55 am ET
by Starekitten of Wet Cat Food
COVID is cooties
For real: adults acting like
Neurotic children
Haiku # 75420, April 22, 2022 12:56 am ET
by Problem, Reaction, Solution of Surprise! The reaction and solution are problems, too!
Circle circle dot
Now I’ve got my cootie shot
Please don’t eat me sir!
Haiku # 75419, April 21, 2022 7:53 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
if i could kill you
i'd probably eat you too
with ice cold faygo
Haiku # 75418, April 21, 2022 4:42 pm ET
by TinselTownTomTom of U Mom Nightstand
Commander Cyan:
Don’t recommend posting links
That’s how they getcha!
Haiku # 75416, April 21, 2022 1:21 pm ET
by Commander Cyan I guess of BadHaiku dot com
But seriously
It is now so obvious:
this site is the best.
Haiku # 75412, April 21, 2022 6:59 am ET
by Do Not Even Try of https://haikusthatsuck.blogspot.com/
All surviving troops:
Report immediately
to badku dot com.
Haiku # 75411, April 21, 2022 6:45 am ET
by https://badku.com/ of Internet Scene Wars
Commander Cyan:
Haiku battalion report?
Verse neutralized, sir!
Haiku # 75410, April 21, 2022 6:33 am ET
by Awarded With Medals and Promoted to Rank of Haiku Sergeant Major
Light the night torches!
Raise your terrible banners.
Haiku forces: march.
Haiku # 75409, April 21, 2022 6:08 am ET
by Grim Determination of Cold Haiku Steel
Only fascism
Will renew the Haiku form.
Bind the bundles tight.
Haiku # 75408, April 21, 2022 6:02 am ET
by Unite State Industries with Haiku of Ultra-nationalistic Poetry
Oh valiant brethren,
Unite! Patriarchy calls.
Write haiku or die.
Haiku # 75407, April 21, 2022 5:59 am ET
by Same Feminist's Gender Studies Prof
All hail the Haiku!
Strong leader of Fatherland:
Conquer in his name.
Haiku # 75406, April 21, 2022 5:54 am ET
by Very Bad Feminist Poet of Berserkley CA
Applied for a job
Interview is next Wednesday
I hope I get it
Haiku # 75405, April 21, 2022 1:04 am ET
by Cyan of SLTxx
Confused Germany
Sending weapons to Ukraine
To fight the Russians
While on other hand
They simultaneously
Buy gas from... who now?
Haiku # 75404, April 20, 2022 11:40 pm ET
by Oh yeah, it's Russia of Alot of Germany's gas comes from Russia
Blitzkrieg of haiku
Untermenschen genocide
Valhalla awaits
Haiku # 75403, April 20, 2022 11:27 pm ET
by Hans Fritz Schtoodlepfopper of Deutschland
It's the birthday of
Adolf Hitler: though he was
Literal Nazi
At least had ethos
More than can be said of our
Current dictator
Haiku # 75402, April 20, 2022 11:25 pm ET
by He was born 100 years before me of I don't think we would've gotten along
Alzheimers is caused
By fraying microtubules
It's preventable
Haiku # 75401, April 20, 2022 11:21 pm ET
by But Biden has earned it! of Populations that eat lion's mane mushroom tend to not get dementia
Now... Frankenbiden!
Children run away screaming
He invokes Corn Pop
Haiku # 75400, April 20, 2022 11:17 pm ET
by It's a-...live? of watching society disintegrate
I had a strange dream
Someone offered me a meal
That was a racoon
That was clearly dead
It had drank some antifreeze
Politely declined
Haiku # 75399, April 20, 2022 11:09 pm ET
by Picky Eater
And our enemies
Shall rue the day they came to
Badhaiku.com
Haiku # 75398, April 20, 2022 10:49 pm ET
by Soldier of 575 Battalion
Fresh blood of haiku
Shall be gloriously spilled:
Poetic battle
Haiku # 75397, April 20, 2022 10:38 pm ET
by Militarized Syllables of Cleansing Violence
Deploy tactical
Nuclear weapons against
All the enemies
Haiku # 75396, April 20, 2022 6:15 pm ET
by Smite The Enemies of Bad Haiku
Have the links been nuked?
That would be nice, but now it
Gives the impression
That I was calling Cyan
"Cunt," which I would not!
Haiku # 75395, April 20, 2022 6:13 pm ET
by Fortunate and Unfortunate of Simultaneously
With claws, I bid thee
Crush enemies of haiku
They make me... crabby
Haiku # 75391, April 20, 2022 6:53 am ET
by Black Metal Crab of Black Brick by Deafheaven https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KGXm6m5OnAc
This site should be nuked
New site idea: Crab Haiku
Crustacean poems
Haiku # 75390, April 20, 2022 6:50 am ET
by I don't actually want this site to be nuked, I just want to nuke the dipshits that post nothing but random links
Since I was away
I see haiku has gone wrong.
I shall restore it.
Haiku # 75389, April 20, 2022 6:37 am ET
by Make Haiku Great Again of Reality T.V.
Green onion green rings
Thanks again for your haiku
Green green onion rings
Haiku # 75388, April 20, 2022 2:29 am ET
by Please send cash of ATM
Good, now you've exchanged
Your info with each other!
Now you can FUCK OFF
Haiku # 75387, April 20, 2022 1:10 am ET
by This is a site for poetry you fucking dipshits of Get off my lawn, dammit
Had another dream
It was just so wonderful
And then I woke up
Haiku # 75383, April 19, 2022 10:03 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Holding onto branch
Because the night is scary
Fixated on moon
Haiku # 75381, April 18, 2022 11:08 pm ET
by MANMOTH of camoflaged wings, avoiding predators
No, fuck off cunt
Haiku # 75380, April 18, 2022 9:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It’s another song
I’m singing my lullaby
“We the people of…”
Haiku # 75378, April 18, 2022 11:56 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
the snow-covered polar bear
melts into the snow --
they're both white!
Haiku # 75377, April 18, 2022 3:31 am ET
by Sprogvader of イングランド
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