Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 236 Days and 75872 Haiku later...

The Badgers remove
Your penis, barbecue it
Force you to eat it
Haiku # 75432, April 22, 2022 9:40 pm ET
by UNSEASONED
The Battle Badgers
Assemble into one huge
Badger, stare at you
Haiku # 75431, April 22, 2022 9:38 pm ET
by What now, fucker?
100 battle
Hardened badgers will
Remove your penis
Haiku # 75430, April 22, 2022 9:37 pm ET
by First they'll distract you, then they'll rip your cock off
A Battalion of
Battle Badgers charge at you,
Tear off your penis
You howl in pain
Wishing you hadn't fucked with
Badgers, Bad Haiku
Haiku # 75429, April 22, 2022 9:35 pm ET
by This is the penalty for shitposting on www.badhaiku.com of Don't do the crime if you can't do the, uh... penis removal by badger
I have work today
Same old, same old boring job
I need a new job
Haiku # 75427, April 22, 2022 8:00 am ET
by Cyan Chan of Cyan Land
All I see is pain
Al around me pain death hate
McDonalds playhouse
Haiku # 75426, April 22, 2022 7:13 am ET
by It’s time to flop of XOXO
Were the girls starving?
Why did they eat the kitty?
And why were they black?
Haiku # 75425, April 22, 2022 6:04 am ET
by Starekitten of Color Revolution
Your verse is moving:
"Naked Black Girls Eat Pussy".
Yes, I'm deeply touched...
Haiku # 75424, April 22, 2022 5:55 am ET
by Starekitten of Wet Cat Food
COVID is cooties
For real: adults acting like
Neurotic children
Haiku # 75420, April 22, 2022 12:56 am ET
by Problem, Reaction, Solution of Surprise! The reaction and solution are problems, too!
Circle circle dot
Now I’ve got my cootie shot
Please don’t eat me sir!
Haiku # 75419, April 21, 2022 7:53 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
if i could kill you
i'd probably eat you too
with ice cold faygo
Haiku # 75418, April 21, 2022 4:42 pm ET
by TinselTownTomTom of U Mom Nightstand
Commander Cyan:
Don’t recommend posting links
That’s how they getcha!
Haiku # 75416, April 21, 2022 1:21 pm ET
by Commander Cyan I guess of BadHaiku dot com
But seriously
It is now so obvious:
this site is the best.
Haiku # 75412, April 21, 2022 6:59 am ET
by Do Not Even Try of https://haikusthatsuck.blogspot.com/
All surviving troops:
Report immediately
to badku dot com.
Haiku # 75411, April 21, 2022 6:45 am ET
by https://badku.com/ of Internet Scene Wars
Commander Cyan:
Haiku battalion report?
Verse neutralized, sir!
Haiku # 75410, April 21, 2022 6:33 am ET
by Awarded With Medals and Promoted to Rank of Haiku Sergeant Major
Light the night torches!
Raise your terrible banners.
Haiku forces: march.
Haiku # 75409, April 21, 2022 6:08 am ET
by Grim Determination of Cold Haiku Steel
Only fascism
Will renew the Haiku form.
Bind the bundles tight.
Haiku # 75408, April 21, 2022 6:02 am ET
by Unite State Industries with Haiku of Ultra-nationalistic Poetry
Oh valiant brethren,
Unite! Patriarchy calls.
Write haiku or die.
Haiku # 75407, April 21, 2022 5:59 am ET
by Same Feminist's Gender Studies Prof
All hail the Haiku!
Strong leader of Fatherland:
Conquer in his name.
Haiku # 75406, April 21, 2022 5:54 am ET
by Very Bad Feminist Poet of Berserkley CA
Applied for a job
Interview is next Wednesday
I hope I get it
Haiku # 75405, April 21, 2022 1:04 am ET
by Cyan of SLTxx
Confused Germany
Sending weapons to Ukraine
To fight the Russians
While on other hand
They simultaneously
Buy gas from... who now?
Haiku # 75404, April 20, 2022 11:40 pm ET
by Oh yeah, it's Russia of Alot of Germany's gas comes from Russia
Blitzkrieg of haiku
Untermenschen genocide
Valhalla awaits
Haiku # 75403, April 20, 2022 11:27 pm ET
by Hans Fritz Schtoodlepfopper of Deutschland
It's the birthday of
Adolf Hitler: though he was
Literal Nazi
At least had ethos
More than can be said of our
Current dictator
Haiku # 75402, April 20, 2022 11:25 pm ET
by He was born 100 years before me of I don't think we would've gotten along
Alzheimers is caused
By fraying microtubules
It's preventable
Haiku # 75401, April 20, 2022 11:21 pm ET
by But Biden has earned it! of Populations that eat lion's mane mushroom tend to not get dementia
Now... Frankenbiden!
Children run away screaming
He invokes Corn Pop
Haiku # 75400, April 20, 2022 11:17 pm ET
by It's a-...live? of watching society disintegrate
I had a strange dream
Someone offered me a meal
That was a racoon
That was clearly dead
It had drank some antifreeze
Politely declined
Haiku # 75399, April 20, 2022 11:09 pm ET
by Picky Eater
And our enemies
Shall rue the day they came to
Badhaiku.com
Haiku # 75398, April 20, 2022 10:49 pm ET
by Soldier of 575 Battalion
Fresh blood of haiku
Shall be gloriously spilled:
Poetic battle
Haiku # 75397, April 20, 2022 10:38 pm ET
by Militarized Syllables of Cleansing Violence
Deploy tactical
Nuclear weapons against
All the enemies
Haiku # 75396, April 20, 2022 6:15 pm ET
by Smite The Enemies of Bad Haiku
Have the links been nuked?
That would be nice, but now it
Gives the impression
That I was calling Cyan
"Cunt," which I would not!
Haiku # 75395, April 20, 2022 6:13 pm ET
by Fortunate and Unfortunate of Simultaneously
With claws, I bid thee
Crush enemies of haiku
They make me... crabby
Haiku # 75391, April 20, 2022 6:53 am ET
by Black Metal Crab of Black Brick by Deafheaven https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KGXm6m5OnAc
This site should be nuked
New site idea: Crab Haiku
Crustacean poems
Haiku # 75390, April 20, 2022 6:50 am ET
by I don't actually want this site to be nuked, I just want to nuke the dipshits that post nothing but random links
Since I was away
I see haiku has gone wrong.
I shall restore it.
Haiku # 75389, April 20, 2022 6:37 am ET
by Make Haiku Great Again of Reality T.V.
Green onion green rings
Thanks again for your haiku
Green green onion rings
Haiku # 75388, April 20, 2022 2:29 am ET
by Please send cash of ATM
Good, now you've exchanged
Your info with each other!
Now you can FUCK OFF
Haiku # 75387, April 20, 2022 1:10 am ET
by This is a site for poetry you fucking dipshits of Get off my lawn, dammit
Had another dream
It was just so wonderful
And then I woke up
Haiku # 75383, April 19, 2022 10:03 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Holding onto branch
Because the night is scary
Fixated on moon
Haiku # 75381, April 18, 2022 11:08 pm ET
by MANMOTH of camoflaged wings, avoiding predators
No, fuck off cunt
Haiku # 75380, April 18, 2022 9:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It’s another song
I’m singing my lullaby
“We the people of…”
Haiku # 75378, April 18, 2022 11:56 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
the snow-covered polar bear
melts into the snow --
they're both white!
Haiku # 75377, April 18, 2022 3:31 am ET
by Sprogvader of イングランド
its a good writing
style in this purgatory
of senseless wokeness
Haiku # 75375, April 18, 2022 1:01 am ET
by vhs
I can’t effing sleep
Once again I miss my ex
I ruined it all
Haiku # 75374, April 18, 2022 12:27 am ET
by Cyan I miss you Sleitchen of SLTX?
Easter egg: out pops
Adam Ben Adam with some
More information
Haiku # 75373, April 17, 2022 11:27 pm ET
by dvd of my writing style must be recognizable
Name "John" said backwards
Sounds like the Aramaic
Word for "Man" - fun fact
Haiku # 75372, April 17, 2022 11:24 pm ET
by I know a little Aramaic of And listened to "Number 9 Dream" by John Lennon recently
One beckons blindly
One beckons seeing nothing
One leaves in anger
A careless pursuit
One leaves in devastation
All leaving, all loved
Haiku # 75371, April 17, 2022 11:11 pm ET
by Anxious Mountain
is that adam ben
adam, son of man extension
14, take a slip

number on it a
ticket off this fallen world
lets go brandon too...
Haiku # 75370, April 17, 2022 11:10 pm ET
by vhs
im seeing horror
links posted here, dark web traps
wonder if they can

be deleted or
someone can figure out where
the links come from
Haiku # 75369, April 17, 2022 11:08 pm ET
by vhs
In a vivid dream
Two outlines - positive space
Composed of lions
Fighting each other:
Male and female, suddenly
Embrace, become sun
Haiku # 75368, April 17, 2022 10:59 pm ET
by Anxious Mountain
I fail to see what
Bunny hiding chocolates
Has to do with the
Resurrection of
The Messiah, so I don't
Care to celebrate
I appreciate
That some have fond memories:
Easter as a child -
I have some, too:
But I reject this culture...
Like, entirely
Haiku # 75367, April 17, 2022 10:32 pm ET
by Enjoy it while it lasts of Like an old garment this culture and society will fall apart and be forgotten
Easter every day!
Those chocolate bunnies and eggs
are irrelevant.
Haiku # 75365, April 17, 2022 8:54 pm ET
by St. Saul of Tarsus
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