Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 15 Days and 73962 Haikus later...

The cold turkey cure:
You try to kick it. You try...
then you make sandwich.
Haiku # 73913, November 25, 2021 10:28 pm ET
by On Whole Wheat Toast with lots of Mayo of Ouagadouggou, Upper Volta
Oh, you can't relate?
Oh, you do not eat turkey?
Get with the program!
Haiku # 73912, November 25, 2021 10:25 pm ET
by We Are Esspik Eenglis Here Senyor of Oaxaca, Rhode Island
Just do more shopping!
Go buy lots more stuff online.
Spend and heal the world!
Haiku # 73911, November 25, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by World Peace Through Frenzy of Shopping in a Stupor
Black Friday: rayciss.
It should be called "White Friday"
to halt injustice.
Haiku # 73910, November 25, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by So Shut Up and Buy on 26th of November for Racial Reconciliation
China may attack
While we sleeping off turkey.
Wake up! Go shopping!
Haiku # 73909, November 25, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by Xi Pinjing of C.C.P.
Butt potter in my gravy...
And then I eat pie-kin pump.
Medicinal WHAT?
Haiku # 73908, November 25, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Pump up the Jam of Rasberry
South Park? Oh forsooth.
Sir, must you be so vulgar?
Haiku is high art.
Haiku # 73907, November 25, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Lofty Heights of Fart Jokes
Okay, let me guess.
Pot butter in your gravy.
And your pumpkin pie.
Haiku # 73906, November 25, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by Medicinal, right? of I didn't inhale.
My muse talk turkey.
Then she serve me apple pie.
My muse get me high.
Haiku # 73905, November 25, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Incorrect Third-person Cojugations of My Whoop-ass Muse
The new South Park rocked.
And you won't guess what happened!
That kid Kenny died.
Haiku # 73904, November 25, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by You should watch it.
Thanksgiving's OK...
But bad haiku is the BOMB.
It blew up my muse.
Haiku # 73903, November 25, 2021 9:56 pm ET
by She Was Inflatable, thus sort of Relatable
What up VHS
I am in Moxieland now...
The way life should be.
Haiku # 73902, November 25, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Ayuh Wicked Good of Finestkind
Darth ate balot egg
Stuffed with live turkey and drugs.
Tryptophan deluxe.
Haiku # 73901, November 25, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by Plimoth Pharmacy of 1620
Happy thanksgiving
To elect haiku remnant.
"I am the turkey".
Haiku # 73900, November 25, 2021 9:48 pm ET
by Dig My Wattles of Shimmy Shimmy Shake and make a sandwich next day
Call me Robot Frost
Stopping to crap in your forest
My horse think's you're queer
Haiku # 73899, November 25, 2021 9:19 pm ET
by Deepdank Woods of Rural Porn Star
It's snowing cocaine
Look how productive I am.
Poetry Robot
Haiku # 73898, November 25, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by Clunk of Junk

who gets the gizzard?
settle this once and for all
who gets the wishbone?
Haiku # 73897, November 25, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by Cassowary not of Casseroles
China will kill us.
China will kill the planet
for communism.
Haiku # 73896, November 25, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by More greedy than capitalists.
cup of coffee 7
pm, snow already? well
here we go again...
Haiku # 73895, November 25, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by vhs of and so it goes.
Devil Artemis
turned Perfect Cell into an
antihero with Kermit

yes, that frog.
Haiku # 73894, November 25, 2021 6:16 pm ET
by vhs
the old man in the
corner of the website did
the best poem here.
Haiku # 73893, November 25, 2021 6:04 pm ET
by vhs
we go off into
a tomb eventually
eat the scroll and speak.
Haiku # 73892, November 25, 2021 5:58 pm ET
by vhs
we eat off china
made in china with other
things made in china.
Haiku # 73891, November 25, 2021 5:53 pm ET
by vhs
China won’t kill us.
They need us for their demand.
Don’t worry too much.
Haiku # 73890, November 25, 2021 5:43 pm ET
by Random Indian of Random US City
Gas prices aren't high.
The population is high.
China will kill us.
Haiku # 73889, November 25, 2021 5:25 pm ET
by https://nypost.com/2021/10/18/war-movie-about-defeat-of-us-army-tops-chinas-box-office/ of So pure and wholesome.
Turkey is awesome.
I can eat it all day long.
Nap and eat some more.
Haiku # 73888, November 25, 2021 5:20 pm ET
by Thankfully fully full.
ah, welcome back my
lovely bad poets, we have
a place again now

thanks Janis...seriously
Haiku # 73887, November 25, 2021 4:58 pm ET
by vhs of thanksgiving haiku, i know canada...october...
Turkeys are stupid!
Look up in the rain and drown.
And those gay feathers.
Haiku # 73886, November 25, 2021 4:32 pm ET
by Roast turkey for Thanksgiving.
Figgy Figsgiving
Fork over the puckered figs
Please, more gutter pigs
Haiku # 73884, November 25, 2021 2:18 pm ET
by Figteenth of Figuary
This is a test of
the haiku posting system.
This is just a test.
Haiku # 73883, November 25, 2021 2:05 pm ET
by Adam
It's way past time, friend.
Hang them with their intestines.
Start with Zuckerberg.

Then China's Pooh Bear,
Biden, Obama, and Trump.
All commies and Cher.
Haiku # 73882, November 24, 2021 3:45 am ET
by Starkitten for Empress! of That would impress.
It is almost time
To rise and judge our leaders
For all their warcrimes.
Haiku # 73881, November 24, 2021 1:40 am ET
by Smiley Dance of Don't Worry Be Happy
All non-haiku verse:
You shall regret your actions.
Admit to your crimes.
Haiku # 73879, November 23, 2021 9:31 pm ET
by People's Court of Syllabic Restoration
Everything has to stand for something and mean something. Abbreviated apocryphal acronyms acrobatically arbitrate arbitrary asinine augmented alphabetization.
FAITA
Fuck Acronyms In the Ass.
Haiku # 73876, November 23, 2021 6:42 pm ET
by It's all bullshit. Every bit of it. It's all meaningless.
FIVE stand for Gospels.
SEVEN stands for Pleiades.
FIVE stands for flavors.
Haiku # 73874, November 23, 2021 1:15 pm ET
by Divine Alchemy of Lower Mathematics in SpEd
Old Japanese man:
You need botox injection,
Yes, you. In corner.
Haiku # 73873, November 23, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Honorable Elder of Shinto Temple of Botox
The Dancing Grannies:
All five of them was rayciss.
I'm Allah's vengeance.
Haiku # 73872, November 23, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Darrell tha Rap Artist of Not Getting 15 Year-olds Preggers fo awhile
The House of Gucci
Go ga-ga for some hoochee...
Lady G? Who she?
Haiku # 73871, November 23, 2021 12:58 pm ET
by Most Perceptive Cine-art Review of Our Time
Hey Mister Chester:
Your mommy's a molester;
Hope they arrest her.
Haiku # 73870, November 23, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by Mask-wearing Juju Witchdoctor of Gambia, Dancing to Village Drums
Chester you dumb bot.
Go swim in the Gambia.
Don't get your chip wet.
Haiku # 73869, November 23, 2021 12:18 pm ET
by I Heart Banjul of Write Haiku You Dolt
Excuse, that I can not participate now in discussion - it is very occupied. But I will return - I will necessarily write that I think on this question.
Haiku # 73868, November 23, 2021 12:12 pm ET
by Chestervoina of The Gambia
Waukesha Darrell:
His favorite Hendrix song is
"Crosstown Traffic". Yup.
Haiku # 73867, November 23, 2021 11:05 am ET
by Tiretrax All Across Your Back
One thousand dollars.
That's the price to kill someone
and then be set free.
Haiku # 73866, November 23, 2021 10:39 am ET
by Remember that! You might need it.
Write some cutting verse.
Like about cutting yourself
You big old gay blade . . .
Haiku # 73864, November 23, 2021 10:24 am ET
by Zorro the GLBTQ Haiku Activist
These rotten verses
even a dog will not eat
yet you devour.
Haiku # 73863, November 23, 2021 7:57 am ET
by And ask for seconds.
May a large poodle
rape your nostrils while you sleep
in drunken slumber.

What a way to go.
Suffocated by dog spooge.
And single malt scotch.
Haiku # 73862, November 23, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Just joking. Relax. of Take a deep breath. And fart... oh, you strained too hard. Go change your pants.
Don't you get sick of
this five seven five bullshit?
It's so meaningless!
Haiku # 73861, November 23, 2021 7:42 am ET
by Cockthistle.
Had your little fun ?
Went through the whole alphabet?
Please don't start numbers...
Haiku # 73858, November 23, 2021 6:28 am ET
by Twenty-six Ways to Bore me to Death
This five seven five
shit is too arbitrary.
Fuck Basho's ash-ho.
Haiku # 73855, November 22, 2021 6:07 pm ET
by Y'know?
a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p q

r s t u v
w x y and z.
now I'll start again.
Haiku # 73854, November 22, 2021 5:38 pm ET
by next time won't you sing with me?
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