Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Turkeys are stupid!
Look up in the rain and drown.
And those gay feathers.
Haiku # 73886, November 25, 2021 4:32 pm ET
by Roast turkey for Thanksgiving.
Figgy Figsgiving
Fork over the puckered figs
Please, more gutter pigs
Haiku # 73884, November 25, 2021 2:18 pm ET
by Figteenth of Figuary
This is a test of
the haiku posting system.
This is just a test.
Haiku # 73883, November 25, 2021 2:05 pm ET
by Adam
It's way past time, friend.
Hang them with their intestines.
Start with Zuckerberg.

Then China's Pooh Bear,
Biden, Obama, and Trump.
All commies and Cher.
Haiku # 73882, November 24, 2021 3:45 am ET
by Starkitten for Empress! of That would impress.
It is almost time
To rise and judge our leaders
For all their warcrimes.
Haiku # 73881, November 24, 2021 1:40 am ET
by Smiley Dance of Don't Worry Be Happy
All non-haiku verse:
You shall regret your actions.
Admit to your crimes.
Haiku # 73879, November 23, 2021 9:31 pm ET
by People's Court of Syllabic Restoration
Everything has to stand for something and mean something. Abbreviated apocryphal acronyms acrobatically arbitrate arbitrary asinine augmented alphabetization.
FAITA
Fuck Acronyms In the Ass.
Haiku # 73876, November 23, 2021 6:42 pm ET
by It's all bullshit. Every bit of it. It's all meaningless.
FIVE stand for Gospels.
SEVEN stands for Pleiades.
FIVE stands for flavors.
Haiku # 73874, November 23, 2021 1:15 pm ET
by Divine Alchemy of Lower Mathematics in SpEd
Old Japanese man:
You need botox injection,
Yes, you. In corner.
Haiku # 73873, November 23, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Honorable Elder of Shinto Temple of Botox
The Dancing Grannies:
All five of them was rayciss.
I'm Allah's vengeance.
Haiku # 73872, November 23, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Darrell tha Rap Artist of Not Getting 15 Year-olds Preggers fo awhile
The House of Gucci
Go ga-ga for some hoochee...
Lady G? Who she?
Haiku # 73871, November 23, 2021 12:58 pm ET
by Most Perceptive Cine-art Review of Our Time
Hey Mister Chester:
Your mommy's a molester;
Hope they arrest her.
Haiku # 73870, November 23, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by Mask-wearing Juju Witchdoctor of Gambia, Dancing to Village Drums
Chester you dumb bot.
Go swim in the Gambia.
Don't get your chip wet.
Haiku # 73869, November 23, 2021 12:18 pm ET
by I Heart Banjul of Write Haiku You Dolt
Excuse, that I can not participate now in discussion - it is very occupied. But I will return - I will necessarily write that I think on this question.
Haiku # 73868, November 23, 2021 12:12 pm ET
by Chestervoina of The Gambia
Waukesha Darrell:
His favorite Hendrix song is
"Crosstown Traffic". Yup.
Haiku # 73867, November 23, 2021 11:05 am ET
by Tiretrax All Across Your Back
One thousand dollars.
That's the price to kill someone
and then be set free.
Haiku # 73866, November 23, 2021 10:39 am ET
by Remember that! You might need it.
Write some cutting verse.
Like about cutting yourself
You big old gay blade . . .
Haiku # 73864, November 23, 2021 10:24 am ET
by Zorro the GLBTQ Haiku Activist
These rotten verses
even a dog will not eat
yet you devour.
Haiku # 73863, November 23, 2021 7:57 am ET
by And ask for seconds.
May a large poodle
rape your nostrils while you sleep
in drunken slumber.

What a way to go.
Suffocated by dog spooge.
And single malt scotch.
Haiku # 73862, November 23, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Just joking. Relax. of Take a deep breath. And fart... oh, you strained too hard. Go change your pants.
Don't you get sick of
this five seven five bullshit?
It's so meaningless!
Haiku # 73861, November 23, 2021 7:42 am ET
by Cockthistle.
Had your little fun ?
Went through the whole alphabet?
Please don't start numbers...
Haiku # 73858, November 23, 2021 6:28 am ET
by Twenty-six Ways to Bore me to Death
This five seven five
shit is too arbitrary.
Fuck Basho's ash-ho.
Haiku # 73855, November 22, 2021 6:07 pm ET
by Y'know?
a b c d e
f g h i j k l
m n o p q

r s t u v
w x y and z.
now I'll start again.
Haiku # 73854, November 22, 2021 5:38 pm ET
by next time won't you sing with me?
Zebadiah zaps
zipperhead zoophilia
zigzagging zebras.
Haiku # 73853, November 22, 2021 5:35 pm ET
by Zinedine Zidane
Your yucky yarbles
yielding youthful yearnings
yellow yolk yogurt.
Haiku # 73852, November 22, 2021 5:29 pm ET
by Yolandi
Xena's XXX
xenophobic xenomorph
x-rayed Xavier.
Haiku # 73851, November 22, 2021 5:17 pm ET
by Xie Xingfang
Wascawy wabbits
wound witless white warmongers
wearing women's wigs.
Haiku # 73850, November 22, 2021 5:09 pm ET
by Wil Wheaton
Very vacuous
vaginas vacuumed vacant
via vogue valve vents.
Haiku # 73849, November 22, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by Vivienne Vavoom
Ugly underwear
undulates under udders
utterly undone.
Haiku # 73848, November 22, 2021 4:50 pm ET
by Ultimately Usain
Tiny tits torn to
ten tantalizing tidbits
terrorize Tampa.
Haiku # 73847, November 22, 2021 4:31 pm ET
by Tina Turner
Oh please, just stop. Please!
Go back to bathroom humor . . .
anything else please.
Haiku # 73846, November 22, 2021 4:05 pm ET
by No More Alphabet Games
Syllable slamming
snotty salamanders shy
Slyly sideways, Sam.
Haiku # 73845, November 22, 2021 3:58 pm ET
by Sylvester Stallone
Rancid ribbed rubbers
ruined Ruth's ravioli
retrospectively.
Haiku # 73844, November 22, 2021 3:53 pm ET
by Ryan Reynolds
Quietly question
queer queens queefing quirkily
quipping qubits.
Haiku # 73843, November 22, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by Quintillus
Niggardly nasties
nip nine nifty nipples now
nullify nothing.
Haiku # 73842, November 22, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by Nad Nostril of Noops Nedited
Pissing putrid puke,
prole puppies pound pink pussy
pomegranate pie.
Haiku # 73841, November 22, 2021 12:01 pm ET
by Prince Phillip
Oh, ostrich ova
obscure omnivorous orbs'
odd oscillation.
Haiku # 73840, November 22, 2021 11:55 am ET
by Ozzy Osbourne
Niggardly nasties
nip nine nifty nipples now
nullify nothingness.
Haiku # 73839, November 22, 2021 11:49 am ET
by Nad Nostril
Mister Megabyte
mastubates marsupials
milking mad mothers.
Haiku # 73838, November 22, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Moth Man
Your algorithm
or alliteration-bot
Is a great big bore.
Haiku # 73837, November 22, 2021 9:53 am ET
by ABCDEF yawwwnnn of Truly Bad Haiku
Lactating lamas
lick lollipops lazily
languishing lastly.
Haiku # 73836, November 22, 2021 7:58 am ET
by Lucy Liu
Karen's kangaroo
kicks koalas' kelp kababs'
kilocalories.
Haiku # 73835, November 22, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Kim Kardashian
All toilets are white.
Hey now, that's being racist!
We need black toilets.
Haiku # 73834, November 22, 2021 7:22 am ET
by Crabby-cunt Karen of Multicolored toilet movement for liberated bowel movements
Janet's enema
Was mistaken for haiku
By a white toilet
Haiku # 73833, November 21, 2021 11:25 pm ET
by Person of Color Purple
Jill joyfully jumped
Jack jamming jubilant jade
jettisoning junk.
Haiku # 73832, November 21, 2021 11:21 pm ET
by Janet Jackson
Hey! It is OK
To travel across state lines
To kill communists.
Haiku # 73831, November 21, 2021 11:20 pm ET
by Cross State Lines
That Youtube Karen is HOT !
I think I need to lather...
Or maybe lath her.
Haiku # 73830, November 21, 2021 11:15 pm ET
by Big Eyed Babe of Car Window
Calm your mother down.
That bitch owes me a haiku.
Written on her skin.
Haiku # 73829, November 21, 2021 11:12 pm ET
by Ed Gein of Quiet Farmhouse
Gentle autumn breeze.
Silk caresses my ass-cheeks...
Time to recharge phone.
Haiku # 73828, November 21, 2021 11:10 pm ET
by Sensual Cables of Plugged In (Out)
Vanishing Dog-man.
Turn my phone around, baby.
Rotten verse will live!
Haiku # 73826, November 21, 2021 11:05 pm ET
by Fermented Dog of Acquired Taste
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