Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 68 Days and 74648 Haiku later...

Have you eaten rat?
Field rats, not sewer rats.
I hear it's not bad.

Maybe Thanksgiving
I'll bake up a rat pot pie.
Of course with real pot.

Pairs well with turkey.
Washed down with rum and eggnog.
I'm so effing high.
Haiku # 73757, November 19, 2021 7:32 am ET
by I'd like to give thanks that we can all be together this year. And thanks for the legalization of marijuana, without which I'd never get through Thanksgiving Day with relatives.
This place has it all
vermin in every corner
wall to wall vermin
Haiku # 73756, November 19, 2021 6:50 am ET
by Noticer of rat tails
Electricity
has been restored to the rez
Wind knocked 3 trees down
Haiku # 73755, November 19, 2021 6:31 am ET
by Chattering of Teeth
Scotch: what's a "top-rope"?
Hope it's not suicidal...
Maybe climbing term...
Haiku # 73754, November 19, 2021 4:38 am ET
by Hung Up On Implications of Terminology
The moon is eclipsed
By one bad haiku tonight.
And it's MY haiku.
Haiku # 73753, November 19, 2021 4:25 am ET
by Go Outside and Look Up of I Control Celestial Bodies Through Haiku
Electricity
Benjamin Franklin found out
when he fucked a kite
Haiku # 73752, November 19, 2021 12:22 am ET
by History through haiku
Please fucking kill me
I just really want to die
Jk i am good :)
Haiku # 73751, November 18, 2021 11:12 pm ET
by hit me up on twitter @cursedmints of house
Oh Madagascar!
Dear Antananarivo...
Ok. Took a risk.
Haiku # 73749, November 18, 2021 9:21 pm ET
by African Risk-assessment Team of Tananarive N'arrive Pas
in just a few days
i'll set up my first top-rope
was nice knowing you
Haiku # 73748, November 18, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by scotch of speaking of risk
Aside of awful,
Odor of fried Kartoffel:
A German jaw-full...
Haiku # 73747, November 18, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by Jawohl Mein Bruder of Achtung !
all the food's okay
i just want to play some "risk"
go madagascar!
Haiku # 73746, November 18, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by scotch
ok, hear me out:
falafel on a waffle
a side of offal
Haiku # 73745, November 18, 2021 9:03 pm ET
by scotch of culinary rhyming house
The turkey grease pops.
Obese in-laws salivate.
And then there's football.
Haiku # 73744, November 18, 2021 8:30 pm ET
by Some give thanks to Jesus. of Rum and Coke is my savior.
Haiku shall guide us.
Haiku the only vanguard.
(Well . . . haiku AND beer.)
Haiku # 73743, November 18, 2021 7:59 pm ET
by Celestial Guidance Through Bad Haiku
I call for reform.
Haiku shall be purified.
A new age begins.
Haiku # 73742, November 18, 2021 7:54 pm ET
by Purge the Deceptions of the Past
You people have FAILED.
Your haiku misses the mark.
Repent for your sins.
Haiku # 73741, November 18, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by The God of Haiku is Forgiving
Nerds are called egg heads.
Heads are sometimes called noggins.
Nerds are egg noggins.
Haiku # 73740, November 18, 2021 5:01 pm ET
by Mix in some rum. of God, this is dumb
Nude nimble gnomes gnaw
nifty noodles, nipping no
gnarly gnu noggins.
Haiku # 73739, November 18, 2021 4:59 pm ET
by
If there's a troll ban,
I'll do three life sentences.
Do prisons have cheese?
Haiku # 73738, November 18, 2021 4:22 pm ET
by DW
In America
can we outlaw gnomes instead?
Hobbits after that!
Haiku # 73737, November 18, 2021 3:01 pm ET
by I would soooo destroy the ceramic abominations.
So did boris just
Outlaw himself, a troll doll
Illegally banned
Haiku # 73736, November 18, 2021 2:44 pm ET
by Vhs
So did boris just
Outlaw himself, a troll doll
Illegally banned
Haiku # 73735, November 18, 2021 2:44 pm ET
by Vhs
i hear anti troll laws
are to be passed in england boris johnson...troll...

doll?
Haiku # 73734, November 18, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
waffle this waffle
that, me laddies, where me whipped
cream an strawberries
Haiku # 73733, November 18, 2021 12:59 pm ET
by waffle pirate vhs
At the Waffle House'
I got the Awful Waffle.
It had me baffled.
Haiku # 73732, November 18, 2021 12:31 pm ET
by It was actually pretty good. of Crispy with real maple syrup.
Elmo and Hitler's
assassination attempt
on Oscar the Grouch

would have succeeded
if Elmo weren't ticklish
and Hitler not gay.
Haiku # 73731, November 18, 2021 11:36 am ET
by Oscar's bunker is way cooler than Hitler's. of Have you seen it?!
I think you need to
worry if he dresses up
as Elmo in the store
Haiku # 73730, November 18, 2021 11:00 am ET
by vhs
i think my dear we
are trying to prevent others
from getting there...

to the Bunker.
Haiku # 73729, November 18, 2021 10:56 am ET
by vhs of Archie Bunker not Hitler Bunker
Elmo's tragedy.
You did more than tickle him.
Security cam.
Haiku # 73728, November 18, 2021 10:33 am ET
by Traumatized store detective.
I do not get that.
"Decolonizing bookshelves."
Just what does that mean?

Rambling...

Perhaps indicates
insanity or something.
I could not tell you.

(b/c if insane, would I know it?)

But I look around.
The world and "society".
It is all insane.

Changing one's "gender".
Order everything online.
Oozing fear like sweat.

But about the end.
Assuming you got that far.
How was that for you?
Haiku # 73727, November 18, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Sweaty nads vape flavor. of Vaping...?! I mean... WTF?! What the hell has happened to us?!?!
I've seen rambling books
murikamis...i fear those
cause they're nuts that want

decolonize your
bookshelf, these same people end
up in deep bunkers

and you know what next.
Haiku # 73726, November 18, 2021 9:47 am ET
by vhs of Gottandamerung.
WalMart toy section.
You have to tickle Elmo.
When no one's looking.
Haiku # 73725, November 18, 2021 9:03 am ET
by Guilty. And I'd do it again!
Better a monkey
than a pig any old day.
Bananas beat slop.
Haiku # 73724, November 18, 2021 7:36 am ET
by Boots the Monkey
That's Dowager Feng.
Stop watching Kung Fu Panda.
Your dumplings are tough.
Haiku # 73723, November 18, 2021 7:29 am ET
by General Tsao's Chicken
Making of haiku,
the Japanese poetry
based on conscision.
Haiku # 73722, November 18, 2021 7:22 am ET
by Sorry, I have to cut this short. of That's what rabbis do.
Back to Empress Feng:
"Slay these monkeys before me.
Big-eyes smell so foul"
Haiku # 73721, November 18, 2021 7:06 am ET
by Jade and Bronze of Celestial Kingdom
Allman brothers rock.
I do love that song "Blue Sky"
Also "Whipping Post"
Haiku # 73720, November 18, 2021 7:02 am ET
by Butch Trucks of Boomer Music
Born a ramblin' man...
You do go on and on, sir.
About what, not clear.
Haiku # 73719, November 18, 2021 6:58 am ET
by Greg Allman of Backseat of a Greyhound Bus
Collaborative
effort of homeless druggies
and a few demons.
Haiku # 73718, November 17, 2021 11:47 pm ET
by
Wait, what?! You read that?
Wow. Glutten for pun-ishment.
Rambled a bit much.

Thoughts?
Haiku # 73717, November 17, 2021 11:43 pm ET
by
yes, a friend, a good
friend redisovered ze pigs opus
discordian mandate

always did want to read it though
i thought DFs evil novel was interesting
Haiku # 73716, November 17, 2021 10:35 pm ET
by vhs
the blast from the past
smells nice, dusty or funk from
40 000 years pence?
Haiku # 73715, November 17, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by vhs of be kind, rewind, me back to my 1990s dorm room
yowsa, how's the nyan
crowd chilling in the bird ap?
nice to see you here?
Haiku # 73714, November 17, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by vhs of A can opener in my twitter life
something about grits
gives me the shits but i love
love love the stuff....broooown

sugar
Haiku # 73713, November 17, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by vhs
heck, I'm gonna need this
random website to pump out
more bad haikus, yeah?
Haiku # 73712, November 17, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by 179west of tempe, arizona, us, meow
nostalgia babe the
peak is the point, the perk it's
trendy bitches can

kiss my britches. ayuh
Haiku # 73711, November 17, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by vhs
Tool is past their peak.
Though "Lost Keys/Rosetta Stoned"
is up my alley.

Their new stuff is... meh.
A new band that wows would be...
more than refreshing.
Haiku # 73710, November 17, 2021 10:16 pm ET
by With the zombies we've become... I can't see it. of No one even practices these days. Too busy on FB, Twitter, and TikTok.
listen, all you have
to do is listen to a Tool
song, to see how

BAD it really is
rubber horsegirls, creepy klaus
adreno crome.
Haiku # 73709, November 17, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by vhs
damn it, they just keep
writing all the good poems
and me bitching on
Haiku # 73708, November 17, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by vhs
Covid is not the plague.
Human beings are the plague.
Mostly the poets.

Isn't it amazing that FarceBook and Amazon and TikTok and all the "Stay at Home -- Be Safe!" companies benefit... And where was it released? China.

And why are all these trillionaires running off to space?

Marijuana is now legal. Stoned people don't fight back.

Consume, consume, consume! Stores and restaurants understaffed. Everyone working at Amazon, Uber, and Door Dash.

Homeless population has exploded. And now look at this website. Some asshole is ruining it by not posting haiku. What a dick! The world is doomed.
Haiku # 73707, November 17, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Bring on the Doom! of Fiji? Maybe a good idea!
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