Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 236 Days and 75872 Haiku later...

damn it, they just keep
writing all the good poems
and me bitching on
Haiku # 73708, November 17, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by vhs
Covid is not the plague.
Human beings are the plague.
Mostly the poets.

Isn't it amazing that FarceBook and Amazon and TikTok and all the "Stay at Home -- Be Safe!" companies benefit... And where was it released? China.

And why are all these trillionaires running off to space?

Marijuana is now legal. Stoned people don't fight back.

Consume, consume, consume! Stores and restaurants understaffed. Everyone working at Amazon, Uber, and Door Dash.

Homeless population has exploded. And now look at this website. Some asshole is ruining it by not posting haiku. What a dick! The world is doomed.
Haiku # 73707, November 17, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by Bring on the Doom! of Fiji? Maybe a good idea!
Could Covid be one
of the final plagues on earth?
I sure hope it is. . .
Haiku # 73706, November 17, 2021 9:31 pm ET
by 7th Seal of 7th Angel
But seriously,
This mass Covid neurosis
has got to end soon.
Haiku # 73705, November 17, 2021 9:27 pm ET
by Go On and Die, Lemmings of Sheeple with Muzzles
If I could delete
all poems ever written,
that's what I would do.
Haiku # 73704, November 17, 2021 8:41 pm ET
by I love Big Brother
I want to erase
everything I've ever done
with nuclear bombs.
Haiku # 73703, November 17, 2021 6:54 pm ET
by Joe Biden
My Prayer.

Please kill Zuckerberg.
His Metaverse is too gay.
And Jeff Bezos too.
Haiku # 73702, November 17, 2021 5:25 pm ET
by Thank you for listening, Lord.
we're all "triggered" for
some reason or another
tough as they can get...
Haiku # 73701, November 17, 2021 3:23 pm ET
by vhs
I want to trigger,
I want to trigger them all.
I’m so sick of them.
Haiku # 73700, November 17, 2021 1:55 pm ET
by My Side of Global Haiku Conflict
It's good to pig out.
But we do it all the time.
So the world suffers.

And to celebrate
pig out to the n-th degree
on Thanksgiving Day.
Haiku # 73699, November 17, 2021 1:08 pm ET
by Because why not!
The Pilgrims were GOOD.
Columbus was GOOD.
Activists are BAD.
Haiku # 73698, November 17, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Queen Isabel Aragon of Castile, Espana but damn site won't do the "enye"
I'll kick this world's ass
in seventeen syllables.
Just watch me do it.
Haiku # 73697, November 17, 2021 11:41 am ET
by Fear Not of I Have Overcome This Haiku
I like Thanksgiving.
It's hard to commodify.
Indigenous feast.
Haiku # 73696, November 17, 2021 11:39 am ET
by Russel Means of AIM
It's that time of year,
to overdose on eggnog
banging a turkey.
Haiku # 73695, November 17, 2021 11:21 am ET
by What will you be having for Thanksgiving dinner?
"Identify this!"
Not a smart thing to say to
transgendered 'women'.
Haiku # 73694, November 17, 2021 11:18 am ET
by They'll do more than identify it!
I identify as
someone who puts six syllables
in the first line of a haiku and then
since that first line is fubared
might as well just go with it and throw the rule book out the window.
Haiku # 73693, November 17, 2021 11:13 am ET
by Right?
I identify as:
“shut up and leave me alone
since you are insane”
Haiku # 73692, November 17, 2021 10:50 am ET
by New Paradigm of Klown World
I identify
as militant blak poet
Doctor LeRoi Jones
Haiku # 73691, November 17, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Imamu Amiri Baraka of Jive-ass Troublemaker from Newark
Not a librarian?
I thought you were “Starkitten”,
a Scottish lassie.
Haiku # 73690, November 17, 2021 10:25 am ET
by Intelligent Canine of Old TV Show
How triangular
that last haiku seems to be.
Maybe you noticed.
Haiku # 73689, November 17, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Triangular groomed pubis with a hint of hair dye. of Makes me suspicious.
I...

Identify as
African American
though I'm just white.
Haiku # 73688, November 17, 2021 10:17 am ET
by Inappropriate appropriation. of Tomorrow I'll be a lesbian in a man's body.
Whites are deficient.
Latinos went to the moon.
And wrote the Bible.
Haiku # 73687, November 17, 2021 10:15 am ET
by Orale Vato of West Side Kingz
A frustrated lib.?
I'm not a librarian.
I do not like books.
Haiku # 73686, November 17, 2021 10:12 am ET
by I watch 5 hours of Jerry Springer re-runs every day.
moved to silent house
keeping up with the joneses
oh, no way José
Haiku # 73685, November 17, 2021 9:47 am ET
by Your Friend Til The End of Hack N Sack
Egyptians was blakk…
Aztecs and Vikings was too.
The rest is rayciss.
Haiku # 73684, November 17, 2021 9:42 am ET
by Mobutu Sese Seko of Swiss Bank Account
Blax invented math.
Blax invented history.
The rest is rayciss.
Haiku # 73683, November 17, 2021 9:39 am ET
by Frederick Douglas of 1883
Darth: frustrated lib.
Immigrants and Africans ? Yes, my heart bleeds too.
Haiku # 73682, November 17, 2021 9:36 am ET
by We Needz Mo DIVERSITEE Here of Only Whites Is Rayciss
Do not bash Basho.
He smoke you out with hash-o.
Drink whiskey mash-o.
Haiku # 73681, November 17, 2021 9:33 am ET
by Don't be an ash-ho to Basho.
Fixed Gear Bicycle
Cut-Offs and No Brakes, So Cool
Time To Fix Their Gnads
Haiku # 73680, November 17, 2021 9:27 am ET
by Liller Basho of Uzbikeuhstan
I love me some fried
chicken and watermelon.
I mean who doesn't?!
Haiku # 73679, November 17, 2021 9:27 am ET
by It's unfair that blacks have all the awesome stereotypes. of Being white is boring.
Rotten Hooligans
Loogies Anthropomorphized
Crack Rock Eulogy
Haiku # 73678, November 17, 2021 9:24 am ET
by Lil Basho of U mom Haus
What we need are some
African American
haiku on this site.
Haiku # 73677, November 17, 2021 9:07 am ET
by Just keep the Eskimos away! of Maybe some printable KFC coupons or extra large condom promos can lure them in.
Though stretched, Clark screeched through
infinitesimally
scraunched, scratched, though straight schlongs.
Haiku # 73676, November 17, 2021 9:04 am ET
by That gaping hole reminds me of someone I know.
Suddenly I feel...
Holy. Maybe I'm Jesus.
Reincarnated.
Haiku # 73675, November 17, 2021 8:47 am ET
by Or something. of Oy vay! Why aren't my lox and bagels ready yet?! It's been two whole minutes!
Here's some news bitches
Jesus was an immigrant
And he wasn't white
Haiku # 73674, November 16, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by But he did love him some whores
silence is not bliss
but i like to hear myself
type extrovert only
Haiku # 73673, November 16, 2021 11:11 pm ET
by vhs
it's a dead parrot
it's not pining for the fjords
norwegian blow out
Haiku # 73672, November 16, 2021 7:11 pm ET
by vhs
What is the sound of
one troll writing a haiku?
ParrrooooooTT Toot toot toot.
Haiku # 73671, November 16, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Mexican food.
Never got days off,
but I've gotten off all day.
More work than working.
Haiku # 73670, November 16, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by Asymmetric muscle tone.
If plugging butt plugs
into a two-twenty outlet,
get a new outlet.
Haiku # 73669, November 16, 2021 5:28 pm ET
by Jack-hammer surprise.
if i have to make
some noise, is it like the tree
that falls over lone?
Haiku # 73668, November 16, 2021 4:49 pm ET
by vhs
you ever get a day
off but it turns out to be
an off day hombre?
Haiku # 73667, November 16, 2021 4:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of vhs
so what happens if
you want to plug a buttplug
on your Patreon?
Haiku # 73666, November 16, 2021 4:38 pm ET
by vhs of yes i lowered myself for that joke
well and here i am
and claiming "disease" casting
the first stone but you

got 3 Stoners and their cat instead
Haiku # 73665, November 16, 2021 4:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of https://thefreakbrothers.com/
God sent HIV
to get rid of gay people.
See how well that worked.
Haiku # 73664, November 16, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by Ain't no gettin' rid of crazies or dummies. of We will always be here.
It's not just covid;
all about staying at home.
And ordering shit.

Not reproducing.
Pretend or "identify"
as opposite sex.

That's acceptable.
Big Brother wishes it so.
All hail Metaverse!
Haiku # 73663, November 16, 2021 3:54 pm ET
by ... I could write about poo if you'd rather.
Covid neurotics,
Trying to control all outcomes;
Mortally fearful.
Haiku # 73662, November 16, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by Life Involves Unpredictable Risks of Stop Being Neurotic
God gave us Covid
To get rid of dumb people
His plan is working
Haiku # 73660, November 16, 2021 1:37 pm ET
by Jesus is lard
Covid neurotics:
Masked inside their cars alone,
Pathetically scared.
Haiku # 73659, November 16, 2021 1:33 pm ET
by God Gave You an Immune System Idiot of 99.5 % Recovery Rate
Talk about rambling!
That's the most unusual
advertisement yet.
Haiku # 73658, November 16, 2021 10:07 am ET
by Gay A/C repairmen seek near death experience on acid. of They didn't mention the garlic sardine tequila ice cream.
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