Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

When I write of poo,
You multiply it by two.
That is all you do.

I write the word "shit"
So then you must double it.
... You should pop that zit.
Haiku # 72638, October 15, 2021 12:28 pm ET
by I suspect the Noticer to Darth poo writing ratio is greater than 1. of Go back a few thousand haiku and see. Maybe I am wrong.
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Haiku # 72637, October 15, 2021 6:49 am ET
by novostic.ru of США
As an algorithm
You are very redundant.
Like a shit-chatbot.
Haiku # 72636, October 15, 2021 6:30 am ET
by Programmed for Excretion of That's Our Darth
Octopustober
raking the leaves with eight rakes
shitting in the pile
Haiku # 72635, October 15, 2021 3:29 am ET
by Sea of Jizz
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka
Клей-сварка Алмаз
Клей-сварка по японской технологии: крепеж, герметик, "холодная сварка"!
Двухкомпонентный клей скрепляет любые поверхности: металл, камень, пластик и др.
Затвердевает так, что не стирается, не режется, абсолютно водонепроницаемый, ремонтирует любую поломку, скол или трещину.
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka холодная сварка приклеить зуб
Haiku # 72634, October 15, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Sofronovovb of Russia
Jizz stains in carpet
For sale: Genuine bearskin
rug with dink attached

When rug hibernates
You'll just have to masturbate
with a trophy moose
Haiku # 72633, October 15, 2021 1:29 am ET
by Hearth Floorfucker of Floor
Say, did you notice?
one of those Persian flatworms
looked like Tom Bosley
Haiku # 72632, October 15, 2021 1:18 am ET
by I don't like 2x the number of dinks
I watched it!
Haiku # 72631, October 15, 2021 1:09 am ET
by Thank you of 2 dinks each!
A Persian carpet
sprouting two sharp penises
and doing battle.
Haiku # 72630, October 15, 2021 12:57 am ET
by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czOIoDbkKQc of Best thing I've seen in a long time.
The popcorn container
Watch for that on the first date
Hole in the bottom
Haiku # 72629, October 14, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Stains of Butter?
When on a first date,
did you ever fart loudly
and blame it on him?
Haiku # 72628, October 14, 2021 3:38 pm ET
by Be honest, ladies!
That is life's purpose.
It's not to make Earth better.
It entertains God.
Haiku # 72627, October 14, 2021 2:50 pm ET
by Kind of like when you watch the losers on Maury or maybe of course those dying kids in Ethiopia. Watchng them on the couch with gourmet ice cream and BBQ potato chips.
Life is horrible
Especially for that man
Standing over there
Haiku # 72626, October 14, 2021 1:31 pm ET
by you don’t really need to know do you of A place on Earth
My, you've been busy,
you prophalactic poet.
Leaky latex load.
Haiku # 72625, October 14, 2021 12:14 pm ET
by Next time double wrap.
One giant clown shoe
by special delivery
Addressed to your dink
Haiku # 72624, October 14, 2021 8:33 am ET
by bozo
Even more bad luck
He lost the end of his schlong
A bad case of mange

It's all your fault
Leaving the toilet seat up
You and your germ farm
Haiku # 72623, October 14, 2021 8:02 am ET
by Disgusted
Here lies the body
of the old haiku dog man
Rabies of the dink
Haiku # 72622, October 14, 2021 7:59 am ET
by Foam of Mouth
The corpses jerk off
Horny skeletons beat off
Do the Thriller dance
Haiku # 72621, October 14, 2021 5:04 am ET
by High Pitch of Nervous laughter
Couldn't remember
When was the last time I shit?
Was it tubular?

What did it smell like?
Did it clog up the toilet?
A public viewing?
Haiku # 72620, October 14, 2021 4:59 am ET
by Milk of Amnesia
My, that's a big one
How do you even manage?
Does it bite, mister?
Haiku # 72619, October 14, 2021 4:53 am ET
by Rabies of Dink
He walked with a limp
Four hundred pounds of pants snake
Coiled up and hissing
Haiku # 72618, October 14, 2021 4:47 am ET
by Reo Peenwagon
Tremendous schlong
Dragged along in a wagon
It won't fit in pants


He made this mistake
Disguised it as a dragon
People tried to touch

The dragon got mean
Spit in an old ladies' eye
Now no one likes us

Then, it spits at them
Haiku # 72617, October 14, 2021 4:35 am ET
by Wagon Dragger
Poor strange little Darth,
always talking about poop.
Mind like a toilet.
Haiku # 72616, October 14, 2021 4:11 am ET
by Flush it Down of Your Soul
customer service
to the schlong department, please
Foot measuring tool

Like shopping for shoes
But this time stick your dink in
What size do you have?
Haiku # 72615, October 14, 2021 12:11 am ET
by Smell of Your Feet
People wonder why
headstones topple over, right?
The corpses jerk off!
Haiku # 72614, October 13, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by Rob Graves of They don't care if they go blind or get a hairy palm
I know when he poops
it comes out like lava cake
Molten hot center

When you get down there
After writing these haiku
Get yourself a slice

Wash it down with milk
(no one tells you it's semen)
You won't shit for months
Haiku # 72613, October 13, 2021 11:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
One of you might know
Does the Devil masturbate?
Is his semen hot?
Haiku # 72612, October 13, 2021 10:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
And then God spoketh
Get with thine program, Losers!
This ain't a free ride
Haiku # 72611, October 13, 2021 10:46 pm ET
by Methheadthusela
The bowel movement
of spaceman William Shatner
Orbiting the earth

Autumn tootsie roll
comes with last night's dinner corn
It's the captain's log
Haiku # 72610, October 13, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
When Chachi's busy
Don't get into a tizzy
Hop on Bosley's knob
Haiku # 72609, October 13, 2021 8:55 pm ET
by Goo of Gob
Clem! Hey Uncle Clem!
They done digged up Tom Bosley
From Figpucker's farm
Haiku # 72608, October 13, 2021 8:53 pm ET
by Appalachian Gothic of 1939
Who is Tom Bosley?
Why is it that his pen is
Mightier than the sword?
Haiku # 72607, October 13, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by Bosley Defamation Squad of Under the Pigsty
Breaking haiku news
Starkitten has been cuntnapped
She needs your help now
Haiku # 72606, October 13, 2021 8:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Facing front or back
when I bow down to the schlong?
Which does he prefer?

How did you ever get started on this topic? Did you read something about it somewhere? I would really like to know. I guess it's a celeb thing to publicly (pubicly?) announce your genital's details.
Do you have pics? A Playboy interview? What was it that set you off down this strange poetic venture?
Haiku # 72605, October 13, 2021 7:39 pm ET
by We need answers now!
Okay I will stop
Only if you bow down to
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 72604, October 13, 2021 6:21 pm ET
by Tom Bosley's uterus
Jesus spoke pirate?
Ye not be jokin', are ye?
Well, he blood is wine.

Why can't Jesus drive?
High blood alcohol content.
But he sure could surf.
Haiku # 72603, October 13, 2021 6:13 pm ET
by Avast, ye maties! Shiver me timbers! Fetch me some grog! of Well, why not. Abraham Lincoln killed vampires.
Just be ye perfect.
Like your heavenly father.
That's what Jesus said.
Haiku # 72602, October 13, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by Impossibility of Perfection
Shatner made it back.
Talking about blue then black.
Tears he did not lack.
Haiku # 72601, October 13, 2021 2:21 pm ET
by Down there, the mother. of Or something.
Please beat your children.
They may turn out just like me.
Perfect in all ways.
Haiku # 72600, October 13, 2021 1:53 pm ET
by This message brought to you by DHS.
God I want egg nog.
Rum and egg nog enema.
Nutmeg overdose.
Haiku # 72599, October 13, 2021 1:50 pm ET
by Jesus died on the cross so you could drink egg nog.
My mind is ugly.
Tortured, inconsolable.
Filled with vile loathing.
Haiku # 72598, October 13, 2021 1:49 pm ET
by All because of Christmas music.
Whose schlong is bigger,
Bill Shatner or Tom Bosley?
The age old question.
Haiku # 72597, October 13, 2021 1:32 pm ET
by My dog's bigger than your dog! My dog's bigger than yours!
Well, I did seek help.
After Tom Bosley raped me.
My asshole's now huge!

I went to see a
practical proctologist.
He said it's hopeless.

He just looked and said,
"You'll never poop normally
again in your life."

Now I work side shows.
Man with the walk-in anus.
Come see the polyps!
Haiku # 72596, October 13, 2021 1:30 pm ET
by $5 entrance fee. of Guaranteed to be amazed!
That old Tom Boseley.
He did a number on you,
poor strange little Darth.
Haiku # 72595, October 13, 2021 11:53 am ET
by Seek Help Immediately
I am not a troll
But then what am I? I am.....
TOM BOSLEY'S PENIS
Haiku # 72594, October 13, 2021 9:36 am ET
by Don't care if you don't like it
I am just a troll.
I suppose that's all I am.
But then, what are you?
Haiku # 72593, October 13, 2021 8:48 am ET
by That's the real question. of Think on it.
If you fart loudly
on the Jerry Springer show,
ratings will go up.
Haiku # 72592, October 13, 2021 6:38 am ET
by There's a mathematical formula for this.
https://www.tinypenis.com/XY38z5896
Haiku # 72591, October 13, 2021 6:33 am ET
by
Проиграли деньги в казино?
Мы поможем их вернуть! Обращайтесь.

https://tinyurl.com/36djxnj7
Haiku # 72590, October 13, 2021 5:46 am ET
by Georgesomia of Ireland
I don't like TV.
I never want to own one.
They should all be burned.
Haiku # 72589, October 13, 2021 5:12 am ET
by Truth!
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