Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 353 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Here comes the spaceship
Time for my nightly voyage
to Zardoxx and back
Haiku # 69109, December 16, 2020 3:25 am ET
by Popular of Spaceship
Alcoholics suck
The drunks who give up drinking
are the worst of them
Haiku # 69108, December 16, 2020 3:22 am ET
by Not a friend of Bill W. of I drink Milk
lost for poetry
the losing loser loses
and soon must move on

https://tinyurl.com/y8f9egbf
Haiku # 69107, December 16, 2020 2:58 am ET
by ash of near the first dog
El mejor trader de forex. https://es.forex-is.com
Haiku # 69106, December 15, 2020 10:14 pm ET
by ForexGync of Forex demo platform
Very hairy snatch.
Voracious hungry sasquatch.
Venti hot Starbucks.
Haiku # 69105, December 15, 2020 9:19 pm ET
by Are you happy now? of I'm sorry if you feel neglected.
no no!!! you got it
all wrong, not once did you mention me in your verse!!!
Haiku # 69104, December 15, 2020 8:27 pm ET
by vhs
Call him Poofecit.
A poo in feces in shit.
Like a turducken.
Haiku # 69103, December 15, 2020 6:17 pm ET
by And almost as tasteless. of Thankful this Thanksgiving that I did not eat turducken!
My God, you smell bad!
Now I know why willows weep.
You sit under them.
Haiku # 69102, December 15, 2020 6:01 pm ET
by I'm glad I'm not a willow! of drunk on a beach not doing calculus for spoiled kids.
I tried that with poop
I tried to stuff it back in
but it made a mess
Haiku # 69101, December 15, 2020 5:56 pm ET
by Stinky of Under old willow
there is a time of
confession where people let
their demons out and

a time when they try
to put the damn things back in
the closet they came from
Haiku # 69100, December 15, 2020 3:54 pm ET
by vhs
people tend to speak
"the obvious..." right now feels
total not niceness
Haiku # 69099, December 15, 2020 3:35 pm ET
by vhs of was gonna say totalitarian
no kidding, and here
we are in the last space of
the old internets.
Haiku # 69098, December 15, 2020 3:32 pm ET
by vhs of internet style one
This is Donald Trump
I know more about losing
than anybody
Haiku # 69097, December 15, 2020 3:30 pm ET
by Donald Trump of Downward Spiral
you know this damn site
is like a rest room in a
rural space, old words

writing on the wall from 24 years ago
Haiku # 69096, December 15, 2020 3:29 pm ET
by vhs
your element is
cloudy farts and moxie? well
drink my covid puss...
Haiku # 69095, December 15, 2020 3:25 pm ET
by Moxie
No.
North Korea.
Forty-two.
Haiku # 69094, December 15, 2020 1:50 pm ET
by DT
did trump shut up yet ?
and who stole the election ?
so many questions
Haiku # 69093, December 15, 2020 7:40 am ET
by ash
If I wiped my ass,
then you would never have been.
Go ask your mother.
Haiku # 69092, December 15, 2020 4:49 am ET
by Where you really came from.
Dude, go back in time
and rethink that decision
to not wipe your ass
Haiku # 69091, December 15, 2020 2:38 am ET
by Clean as a whistle of I don't stink, you'll never find me
Where's my time machine?
I need to go back in time.
For a noble cause.

I am going to
kidnap Matsuo Basho
and show him this site.
Haiku # 69090, December 15, 2020 12:41 am ET
by All I want for X-mas.
I'm sick of Santa.
Let's tell all the kids he died
of Covid-19.
Haiku # 69089, December 15, 2020 12:37 am ET
by One good thing can come of this year yet.
Did you ever sit
on Santa's lap and then he
got an erection.
Haiku # 69088, December 15, 2020 12:35 am ET
by Yeah, me neither.
All cats are good cats
Cats who shred toilet paper
Cats who shred couches
Haiku # 69087, December 14, 2020 11:47 pm ET
by Starkitten of PNW
Hibachi Haiku
Careful how you treat your meat
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 69086, December 14, 2020 7:58 pm ET
by Gordon Ramshee
Now the Dork Lard reigns
Now, the universe aligns
like bacon in pan.
Haiku # 69085, December 14, 2020 7:49 pm ET
by Hirschl's Halal Bacon of Kosher Pareve Oy Veh
There are seventeen.
The "name" field backs up to
the fucking haiku!
Haiku # 69084, December 14, 2020 7:16 pm ET
by the way, you get what you pay for, of course.
Make yourself useful
Just seventeen syllables
The least you could do
Haiku # 69083, December 14, 2020 1:44 pm ET
by Will 2Live of Lost
Queef Puffed Waffle Bites.
The latest mall kiosk craze.
Please don't use katsup.

Next to Santaland.
You'll shoot your other eye out.
How will you watch porn?
Haiku # 69082, December 14, 2020 8:47 am ET
by One-eyed wonder worm
God, I hate Christmas.
The man who invented it
should be crucified.
Haiku # 69081, December 14, 2020 5:36 am ET
by DW. of blast from the past. Oy vey! Showing my roots.
If you send a dink,
please send Tutankhamun's dink,
all covered in gold.

For a Christmas gift,
that would be quite uncommon.
"You'll shoot your eye out!"
Haiku # 69080, December 14, 2020 5:33 am ET
by At present, Tutankhamun's mummy is in its original resting place in the Valley of the Kings in the KV62 chamber.
When hermit crabs poo
do they keep it in their shell?
Sort of like poets?
Haiku # 69079, December 14, 2020 5:28 am ET
by Darth WHORENDOUS! of Figpucker is dead, I killed him.
There's a little Darth
Figpucker in all of us
this time of the year
Haiku # 69078, December 14, 2020 3:12 am ET
by Secret Santa of Undisclosed
I guess I'll tell you
You'll be getting a package
A mummified dink
Haiku # 69077, December 14, 2020 2:17 am ET
by Tracking number of Shipment Details: Contents Dick Clark's mummified dink
You peeked at your gift?
It should have been a surprise.
Jack in the box poo.
Haiku # 69076, December 14, 2020 2:12 am ET
by Turn the handle, it plays music, then *SPROING!* you are literally shit-faced. of Wait until you see what's in store for New Years!
Unwrapping each gift
Reveals yet another box
of human feces
Haiku # 69075, December 14, 2020 12:46 am ET
by Just another of Shitty Christmas
Egg nog enemas
are what make the reindeer fly.
Don't try it at home.
Haiku # 69074, December 14, 2020 12:11 am ET
by Myristicin Rehab Clinic of North Pole
YOU are the true beef.
You are the true laughing stock,
Because you say MOO.
Haiku # 69073, December 13, 2020 7:57 pm ET
by Livestock Management of Haikoo
Rare Roast Beef Luncheon
A polyester sous vide
Cooked in Grandma's pants
Haiku # 69072, December 13, 2020 6:38 am ET
by Bingo of Everyone wins
Doctor Shiva speaks.
Variety of topics
Pertaining to fraud
Haiku # 69071, December 13, 2020 5:53 am ET
by Untouchable Mind of Ayudarrai
Set grandma on fire
Take her to bingo parlor
Let them deal with it
Haiku # 69070, December 13, 2020 1:47 am ET
by Jim Morrison of Come on baby light my grandma.
Sunday the thirteenth
Worse than Friday the thirteenth
Because it's Sunday
Haiku # 69069, December 13, 2020 1:39 am ET
by Lifestyle correspondent
Flat Earth vs. gas:
Which one is an illusion?
Flat Earthulence. Both.
Haiku # 69068, December 12, 2020 9:29 am ET
by Flatus Sextus of Holy Roman Imp Pyre
Yeah, South Park did it.
South Park also did one on
The Simpsons did it.

You can hold your farts.
You can also hold my farts.
Only in your mouth.
Haiku # 69067, December 12, 2020 1:10 am ET
by DW
Do you think God farts?
Or is He madeth from Gas
Sure stinx not knowing
Haiku # 69066, December 12, 2020 12:30 am ET
by Run of the mill sinner of Earthly Plane
Here's the solution
Everyone hold in your farts
Too late for this one
Haiku # 69065, December 12, 2020 12:00 am ET
by Sneaky One of Reverberation
Cows produce methane
mostly by eructation;
Not much by flatus.

It is a fact that
methane produced by bovines
rivals CO2.
Haiku # 69064, December 11, 2020 9:58 pm ET
by Greenhouse gas armchair scientist. of Those poor polar bears.
They are all liars.
These Goddamn Filipinas.
A country of whores.

No, that isn't true.
That is an insult to whores.
Whores are more honest.
Haiku # 69063, December 11, 2020 9:50 pm ET
by DW of In my element.
They are all liars.
These Goddamn Filipinas.
A country of whore

No, that isn't true.
That is an insult to whores.
Whores are more honest.
Haiku # 69062, December 11, 2020 9:49 pm ET
by DW of In my element.
Cows do not smoke grass
It passes through their four stomachs
They do pass loud gas
Haiku # 69061, December 11, 2020 8:08 pm ET
by Fart Farmer of Fart Farm
Cookbook for the Stoned
Top gift for the budding chef
at one with the couch

All the recipes
can be prepared while lounging
using just one hand
Haiku # 69060, December 11, 2020 8:05 pm ET
by I. Ambaked of You should get baked too
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