Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Unwrapping each gift
Reveals yet another box
of human feces
Haiku # 69075, December 14, 2020 12:46 am ET
by Just another of Shitty Christmas
Egg nog enemas
are what make the reindeer fly.
Don't try it at home.
Haiku # 69074, December 14, 2020 12:11 am ET
by Myristicin Rehab Clinic of North Pole
YOU are the true beef.
You are the true laughing stock,
Because you say MOO.
Haiku # 69073, December 13, 2020 7:57 pm ET
by Livestock Management of Haikoo
Rare Roast Beef Luncheon
A polyester sous vide
Cooked in Grandma's pants
Haiku # 69072, December 13, 2020 6:38 am ET
by Bingo of Everyone wins
Doctor Shiva speaks.
Variety of topics
Pertaining to fraud
Haiku # 69071, December 13, 2020 5:53 am ET
by Untouchable Mind of Ayudarrai
Set grandma on fire
Take her to bingo parlor
Let them deal with it
Haiku # 69070, December 13, 2020 1:47 am ET
by Jim Morrison of Come on baby light my grandma.
Sunday the thirteenth
Worse than Friday the thirteenth
Because it's Sunday
Haiku # 69069, December 13, 2020 1:39 am ET
by Lifestyle correspondent
Flat Earth vs. gas:
Which one is an illusion?
Flat Earthulence. Both.
Haiku # 69068, December 12, 2020 9:29 am ET
by Flatus Sextus of Holy Roman Imp Pyre
Yeah, South Park did it.
South Park also did one on
The Simpsons did it.

You can hold your farts.
You can also hold my farts.
Only in your mouth.
Haiku # 69067, December 12, 2020 1:10 am ET
by DW
Do you think God farts?
Or is He madeth from Gas
Sure stinx not knowing
Haiku # 69066, December 12, 2020 12:30 am ET
by Run of the mill sinner of Earthly Plane
Here's the solution
Everyone hold in your farts
Too late for this one
Haiku # 69065, December 12, 2020 12:00 am ET
by Sneaky One of Reverberation
Cows produce methane
mostly by eructation;
Not much by flatus.

It is a fact that
methane produced by bovines
rivals CO2.
Haiku # 69064, December 11, 2020 9:58 pm ET
by Greenhouse gas armchair scientist. of Those poor polar bears.
They are all liars.
These Goddamn Filipinas.
A country of whores.

No, that isn't true.
That is an insult to whores.
Whores are more honest.
Haiku # 69063, December 11, 2020 9:50 pm ET
by DW of In my element.
They are all liars.
These Goddamn Filipinas.
A country of whore

No, that isn't true.
That is an insult to whores.
Whores are more honest.
Haiku # 69062, December 11, 2020 9:49 pm ET
by DW of In my element.
Cows do not smoke grass
It passes through their four stomachs
They do pass loud gas
Haiku # 69061, December 11, 2020 8:08 pm ET
by Fart Farmer of Fart Farm
Cookbook for the Stoned
Top gift for the budding chef
at one with the couch

All the recipes
can be prepared while lounging
using just one hand
Haiku # 69060, December 11, 2020 8:05 pm ET
by I. Ambaked of You should get baked too
"Covid" is control.
They will milk the cow to death,
Then sell you the milk.
Haiku # 69059, December 11, 2020 7:57 pm ET
by Stop Masking
Stoned Extroverts
Conversations with Potheads
Stoned Introverts
Haiku # 69058, December 11, 2020 7:26 pm ET
by A. Bongasbigasthesun of Superbaked
Look, here comes Fauci
Everyone pull up your pants
and social distance
Haiku # 69057, December 11, 2020 4:06 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Bad Haiku Boom Boom Room
Fung Fung make jig-jig.
Raise big money for the Dems.
(And she swallow well).
Haiku # 69056, December 11, 2020 12:27 pm ET
by Eric the Red of Cali Cartel
"Get a room!", they said
Germs spewed on every surface
Make Covid sexy
Haiku # 69055, December 11, 2020 12:12 pm ET
by U. Cleanitup of Getting Busy
What grew overnight?
What unhealthy fungal blight
at this sickly site?
Haiku # 69054, December 11, 2020 9:28 am ET
by Fung Fung of Fun Guy
One plus one is two.
That's about all I'm sure of.
Sometimes I have doubts.
Haiku # 69053, December 11, 2020 4:32 am ET
by DW dink injection. of $8.99 at Walmart. No therapeutic claims are made.
The War on Christmas
Flamethrower to Santa's ass
Reindeer steaks tonight!
Haiku # 69052, December 11, 2020 4:11 am ET
by Lump O'Coal of Stocking
If I get the "shot"
Will it improve my math skills?
Is there a booster?
Haiku # 69051, December 10, 2020 11:09 pm ET
by Warped Speed of Under the bewitching spell of Darth Figpucker
If you can survive
what comes out my scabby "dink"
you'll survive covid.
Haiku # 69050, December 10, 2020 9:19 pm ET
by DW of If you get several whores at once, it's cheaper per whore!
Bending over now
A seventeen syllable
salute to you all
Haiku # 69049, December 10, 2020 8:49 pm ET
by Like that Norman Rockwell painting of Doctor's office wall
Free Vaccinations
for all Bad Haiku poets
(really just Darth's dink)
Haiku # 69048, December 10, 2020 8:39 pm ET
by Next of In line (in your dreams)
Corona saves lives.
Because you're not going out
doing stupid shit.

We need a real germ.
A virus that kicks some ass.
Flesh eating butt slime.

Maybe a smart germ.
A germ that targets poets.
And politicians.
Haiku # 69047, December 10, 2020 7:28 pm ET
by Huwan Wuhan
The way you lean back
and take a sip of that nog
Fuck me, Santa Clause
Haiku # 69046, December 10, 2020 4:25 pm ET
by Noel of No Tell Motel
Cartwheel Cartwheel split
What an unfortunate time
for the urge to shit
Haiku # 69045, December 10, 2020 4:19 pm ET
by A. Changeofpants of Physically Phit Butt Plastered With Shit
Sometimes you have to
plug your nose and keep going
Try Cunnilingus
Haiku # 69044, December 10, 2020 4:14 pm ET
by Cunnilingus Cunningham of Flying Aer Lingus
You asked for poems
So I looked inside myself
and haikued this out
Haiku # 69043, December 10, 2020 4:10 pm ET
by Regular Haiku Poet of Under old willow
Anything you say
Martha Raye at your service
Call me the Big Mouth
Haiku # 69042, December 10, 2020 11:03 am ET
by Horny Ghoul of Whenever. Wherever.
Oh thou, vile Dork Lard
We bow down and worship Thee
(Because you're SILLY)
Haiku # 69041, December 10, 2020 10:07 am ET
by Silly Billy of Absolute Maleficence
Take out your dentures.
Polygrip sticks to your mask.
And to pubic hair.
Haiku # 69040, December 10, 2020 3:30 am ET
by No teeth guaranteed. of You dirty old whore.
Infidelity
If you don't think about it
It has its good points
Haiku # 69039, December 10, 2020 1:58 am ET
by Side Piece of On the side
Having a hard time
Administering blow jobs
with this Covid mask
Haiku # 69038, December 10, 2020 1:53 am ET
by Pearl Drop of Fresh Breath
Why are you a pig?
You should be in a sandwich.
Except you're rancid.

Diseased and toxic.
We'll throw you into a pit.
Bury you alive.
Haiku # 69037, December 10, 2020 12:55 am ET
by H1N1 memories of Flame throwers more appropriate.
Perfect hemispheres.
Longboarding ladies poo stance.
Sexy butt silly.
Haiku # 69036, December 10, 2020 12:50 am ET
by Rear view lip slip.
It was quite calming.
Electrified testicles.
Not shocking at all.
Haiku # 69035, December 10, 2020 12:47 am ET
by Go ask your daughters.
I thought about it.
Blueberries shot out my schlong.
Here, have a muffin.
Haiku # 69034, December 10, 2020 12:34 am ET
by Blueberry stud muffin. of Pig in a blueberry blanket. Ganja muffin. Puffin' on the muffin.
Whilst eating yoghurt
Think about the name Wadsworth
Report back to me
Haiku # 69033, December 9, 2020 11:18 pm ET
by Your Assignment of To Do List
I'll impregnate you.
Just by using the Dark Side.
I am a Dork Lard.
Haiku # 69032, December 9, 2020 11:02 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous, The Dork Lard of The Shit.
I'd go out with you
Just think of that poetry
But no touching, Darth
Haiku # 69031, December 9, 2020 9:57 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Under old willow
Asian prostitutes.
Economical plane trips.
Where's our money gone?!
Haiku # 69030, December 9, 2020 8:57 pm ET
by Bert & Ernie of And you thought we were gay. Ha!
Chicks dig the haiku.
And white hair. And beer belly.
Believe me (in verse.)
Haiku # 69029, December 9, 2020 8:04 pm ET
by Supermodels Kill for My Haiku
Spewing syllables
Hot poet ejaculate
Was it good for me?
Haiku # 69028, December 9, 2020 7:22 pm ET
by A. Lone of Messy
Haiku statistics
There's just one poet on here
It's masturbation
Haiku # 69027, December 9, 2020 7:13 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Oh my God, ya think?!
Chicks do not like poetry?
They like cock and cash?
Haiku # 69026, December 9, 2020 5:03 pm ET
by I'm a middle aged pervert b/c I'm middle aged. of Young men are not perverts, they are young men... Unless they're poets, that's pervy.
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