Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 27 Days and 76805 Haiku later...

If I met Jesus
I'd buy him a big ice cream
An ice cream sundae
Haiku # 64923, June 3, 2019 2:57 pm ET
by His Father probably never did of Deadbeat Cheapskate

Just in time for church
Jerk off in baptismal font
Cross off TO DO LIST
Haiku # 64922, June 2, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by Busy Day Guy
It is still Sunday;
a good day to worship God.
(while Darth beats his meat)
Haiku # 64921, June 2, 2019 4:41 pm ET
by Holiness Proclaimed of 8 Days a Week
Sunday for Jesus
All other days for Satan
That's how y'all roll
Haiku # 64920, June 2, 2019 11:14 am ET
by Jesus is lard
Today is Sunday.
A good day to worship God.
(while Darth plays with shit)
Haiku # 64919, June 2, 2019 8:56 am ET
by Holiness Exalted of Sinners Condemned
I soak my penis
In a combination of
Three fine mouthwashes
Haiku # 64918, May 31, 2019 6:00 pm ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
Hi.

I have a very short questionnaire I'd like to present and thank you in advance for answering.

Do you prefer Listerine, Scope, or Colgate mouthwash?

And what is your preferred flavor?

It's for a class project.

Thanks again.
Haiku # 64917, May 31, 2019 4:41 pm ET
by student
I just called MULE RID
Whoever answered the phone
Brayed loud in my ear
Haiku # 64916, May 31, 2019 3:49 am ET
by I give up
All this camel dung
Coming up between my toes
These sandals are shot
Haiku # 64915, May 31, 2019 3:44 am ET
by O. Asis of Somewhere
When you make a list
It helps you get organized
Things to do: Get Laid
Haiku # 64914, May 31, 2019 3:38 am ET
by Can't read the list of Wet smudge
Fucked by a donkey?
Got an ass stuck in your ass?
Call Burro-Be-Gone!
Haiku # 64913, May 31, 2019 3:34 am ET
by 1-800-MULE-RID
Lawn mowing contest
Who will have the shortest grass?
Be the biggest ass?
Haiku # 64912, May 30, 2019 10:51 pm ET
by Get a goat
Phoney hoes fake foreheads noses n blood of sacrificial fetus for life of luxury just for him to go get a new bitch preggo
Haiku # 64911, May 30, 2019 9:16 pm ET
by Your Cunt was Outdone of Lizard face Herp Son
Nippress and Ash, long at Last
StarWars themed
Wedding Rings
w00t! w00t!
Haiku # 64910, May 30, 2019 6:35 pm ET
by iamback
Poke your head out now
You zit faced motherfucker
Conjoined headless twin
Haiku # 64909, May 30, 2019 4:35 pm ET
by longstanding of Erection
Santa Claus penis
Long hard and so minty fresh
Cum to the North Pole
Haiku # 64908, May 30, 2019 4:31 pm ET
by Lump of Coal
You should be happy 7 finally got what u wanted. Him away from me. Stolen true Judah u crusty bitch gave it all for trade. And turned them into slaves. Only to sell them their true creativity and art back while u slaughter them. You in your filth. Be glad now u have it...
Haiku # 64907, May 30, 2019 9:43 am ET
by Trash bitch of He will die again by your hand
Bitch stfu for a change
Haiku # 64906, May 30, 2019 9:28 am ET
by Snails melt of In their salt
The ones who escaped
Will serve as "chocolate jimmies"
On my ice cream cone
Haiku # 64905, May 29, 2019 3:58 pm ET
by Xterminator of Anthill
Abducted and killed
Bludgeoned dead and set on fire
Extreme meat beating
Haiku # 64904, May 29, 2019 3:56 pm ET
by Don't try this at home of Anthill
Relentless pursuit
A place to store my boogers
The bedpost is full
Haiku # 64903, May 29, 2019 3:52 pm ET
by Ideas on this ?
Is God the Devil?
Does the Devil have red horns?
Does God wear a robe?
Haiku # 64902, May 29, 2019 9:45 am ET
by Religion confuses me
Solo maypole dance
Just me thumping on the walls
By the way, I'm nude
Haiku # 64901, May 29, 2019 9:41 am ET
by How do?
Even the demons
Believe that there is one God
to cast them in Hell.
Haiku # 64900, May 29, 2019 8:26 am ET
by Fluffy Lamb of Christophobia
When the honking starts,
some of the honklers get honked.
It's Honkl-O-Rama!
Haiku # 64899, May 29, 2019 8:13 am ET
by Clowning in The Tragedy of Facepaint
Hey Mouthful: listen.
You need to say it Haiku
that's five-Seven-five
Haiku # 64898, May 29, 2019 8:07 am ET
by Or Else Shut Yer Yap
be afraid of losing my voice and the rest of the day before I get a follow back on my way home from work to be the first half of the day before I get a follow back on my way home from work to be the first half of the year and I don't think that I can get it right away with the new version is better to be the best of the year and I don't know how much you love it and it was the best of the year of high quality of life and the first half of the day I don't think that I have a great way of the year of high quality of life and the first half of the year and a lot more fun and addicting and I don't know how much you love it and it is not the same thing to say I don't think that the first half of the day I don't think I have to go back and I don't think I can see it as an excuse for the next few weeks of school tomorrow and I'm still not sure what I was a great way of the day before the end of the year of high quality and the other hand is the only thing that would make it a lot of the day before I go back and I don't think that the first half of the year of high quality and the other hand is the only thing that would make it a lot of the day before the end of the year and a lot more fun and I have a good time with the new version is the only one that is a good time with the same thing to say
Haiku # 64897, May 29, 2019 7:54 am ET
by Mouthful
In his last dream seems
Was a sheep man- Colt .45
Winchester rifle

Protecting the sheep
That what he was- a true fact
In the D.O.D.

Thirty some long years
A sheepman protecting sheep
Adios Old Pard- thanks..
Haiku # 64896, May 29, 2019 4:50 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
The ET lizards
Came for old pard Joe-the man
lived by his own rules

"This is not good"-said
The Lizards from the black void
"Brother Joe times up"

Said the GD Zards-
Brother Joe knew- no chance
Go with them he must.

A GD good man
Roamed the world his whole long life.
And went out punching hard
Haiku # 64895, May 29, 2019 4:41 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
I knocked up jesus
Who then gave birth to Satan
Who has daddy's eyes
Haiku # 64894, May 29, 2019 4:36 am ET
by Born bad and getting worse
Sort of off topic
Overdue library books
Please return them now
Haiku # 64893, May 29, 2019 1:23 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
HONK HONK
Haiku # 64892, May 29, 2019 12:36 am ET
by Anonymous Honkler
I'm so excited
Excitedly to get my nails are you doing it wrong that I'm going back and I don't think that it was not immediately available to all of them in my head and a lot more fun and addicting and I don't think that it was not immediately available to all of them in my head and a lot more fun and addicting and I have a great way of saying it would mean so so happy to see my tweets and a lot more fun and I have a great way of saying it would mean so so happy to see my tweets and a lot more fun than a week and a lot more fun
Haiku # 64891, May 28, 2019 6:32 pm ET
by Goofus
Tranquil haiku soul
wanders into this website . . .
Gets covered in shit.
Haiku # 64890, May 28, 2019 5:43 pm ET
by Syllabic Sybarite of Stupidity
Gramps asleep on porch;
Figpucker is his grandson
(and also his son)
Haiku # 64889, May 28, 2019 1:18 pm ET
by Fambly Values of Darth
Lanterns swing at dusk
Illuminated penis
Gramps asleep on porch
Haiku # 64888, May 28, 2019 12:18 am ET
by Welcome Home of Home
Power flows gently
Hush of wind dwells in the past
Lanterns swing at dusk
Haiku # 64887, May 27, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by MANMOTH
The penis fly trap
Short hairs caught in the zipper
Got my hot dog too
Haiku # 64886, May 27, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Brian Wilson s taint
Covered in sand from the beach
Forever Summer
Haiku # 64885, May 26, 2019 5:00 pm ET
by Muscles of Love of Workin out
Brian Wilson
Haiku # 64884, May 26, 2019 4:59 pm ET
by Muscles of Love of Workin out
Carnivorous plant
Digesting your limp penis
As you lay sleeping
Haiku # 64883, May 26, 2019 4:54 pm ET
by That takes care of That
Flightless bird high jump
Your long awaited dunging
Has just now arrived
Haiku # 64882, May 26, 2019 4:53 pm ET
by Cassowary Bird
Still talking that shit?
From out your large intestine?
Think we're interested?
Haiku # 64881, May 26, 2019 3:36 pm ET
by Excremental Poetic Emetic of Darth
I masturbated
After eating a burger
Now my dick's greasy
Haiku # 64880, May 26, 2019 8:54 am ET
by Home of The Whopper
U mad or naw bitch
Haiku # 64879, May 26, 2019 3:11 am ET
by Ya Mad of My pie in his backpack
Three avocados
I ate them all in one day
Yes, I have the shits
Haiku # 64878, May 25, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Worth it
Stopped at the border
The bulge in my pants questioned
Has its own passport
Haiku # 64877, May 25, 2019 8:57 pm ET
by Customs Office
Vienna finger is what?
What are you talking about?
Seek therapy NOW.
Haiku # 64876, May 25, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by Your Soul Is Damaged
Jesus, Cunt, you post shite to yourself to reply to. And this obsession has just gotten tired and old. It's not healthy, man. Get some help. Maybe you should try going fishing or something other than this shite. Gardening maybe. Move to Cali and grow pot... You will never be admired for anything you have done here, that much is certain. You are more repetitive than an autistic parrot.
Haiku # 64875, May 25, 2019 12:01 am ET
by df
That tired old story
Cold Vienna stinkfinger
Hardly worth the trip
Haiku # 64874, May 24, 2019 11:27 pm ET
by Traveling of With just a backpack
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