My psychiatrist
Suggested writing haiku
I think it

And still I wipeth
Yet I findeth brown remnants
Thankseths for your time

What was God thinking?
Dogs have self cleaning rear ends
We must wipe and wipe

Darth has not been here.
Otherwise their would be verse
about shit and sperm.

Climbed up Mount Everest
Not to show off or nothing
Just to shit at top

May Ejaculate
Pollen in every crevice
Was it good for you?

Grooving to the beat
Mystical drum circle jerk
Slippery drumsticks

Mystic drummer man
She knows its too late for us
My heart solely yours

Awkward silences
Your cue to emit primal SCREAMS
Let wind if you can

Seagull flying high
Masturbating in the sky
What's that in my eye?

Went to church Sunday
Father Cassowary Bird
Our new parish priest

Jesus did not weep
He was just peeling onions
To cover the STINCH

Went to church Sunday
Wiped my ass with the bible
Laughed as Jesus cried

Loverboy Donald:
Gallant gift to Womankind
(and great poet too!)

What Donald Trump calls
A romantic rendezvous
Most consider rape

Darth and Starkitten
sitting in a tree. K, I,
S, S, I, N, G...

That same old blow job
That same stern look and pursed lips
FUCK THIS BLOW UP DOLL

I bend it backwards
Use it for lumbar support
Feel my love muscles

Born with a club foot
Actually, that's my penis
Stuffed in my big shoe

How big is your dick?
The measure of a man's worth
You got six inches?

The pieces of shit
Below me must dislike me
That's a compliment

Oh! De-Prick-cation
Like chemical castration
But just franks, no beans

DeprEcation, dunce.
Your lack of basic spelling:
stinch in my nostrils.

Mary's Mind-Science;
Animal magnetism;
so mesmerizing...

Hi.

I have a very short questionnaire I'd like to present and thank you in advance for answering.

Do you prefer Listerine, Scope, or Colgate mouthwash?

And what is your preferred flavor?

It's for a class project.

Thanks again.

Self deprication
Or just sad,pathetic truth?
I've got a small dick

Extra syllable
You can repurpose that one
Make a big dildo

Chinese factory
We teeheeheeing over here
We make you more junk

slit of the plastic
but all it was was cone of broken seal

surgeons from hell still uglified coins wasted

Don't know about you
But I get paid to come here
Full time poetess

I'm just a torso
My partner has it worse,though
He's just a dildo

If you'd gotten laid
one percent of what you write
you'd have HIV.

What sports do you do?
Besides clicking and wanking.
I didn't think so.

Poetry is dull.
Limit it to just three lines.
Well, you've fucked yourself.

Have you never been
Mary Baker Eddyfied?
Have you never tried?

To tell the grand truth
You musteth bendeth over
Bunghole Oracle

No need for comparison douche pouch...U should know by now...

Something in common
I also enjoy reading
Toilet Library

Texts of grand truths
fill the eyes fill the dome
so let the soul edify the true realms and thrones
mind buried in books and tablets of stone
Love Love Love to open up my heart to the unknown

I fucked a midget
I figured if I didn't
Nobody would have

Neighborhood Block Watch
Caught you passing in the shrubs
"Let's stone him to death"

We were young, we loved
Our meat swung between our legs
Dogs followed us home

WHEN I TYPE ALL CAPS
I'M SCREAMING LIKE A WEREWOLF
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??

Got me worked up now
You into the furry scene?
I'm dressed as a bird

Attract attention
Learn to shake your derrière
Like a paint mixer

Personality
That won't win you the pageant
Wear something low cut

Tea ceremony
I left my shoes at the door
And I have to shit

Forget that loser
Buy yourself a huge dildo
Ride it in to town

poetry problems
What's a syllable like you
Doing in this dump?

Nature, a paradox
Proof: vulnerability
Is the way to strength