And for the first time
In all the years they were wed
He said something nice

"Which hole am I in?"
The drunk guy asked the hooker
"The wrong one asshole!"

Gee,something smells good
It has to be your cooking
Can't be your pussy

Miss March, sixty-eight
That woman had some nice curves
Can't recall her name.

Fred Astaire exhumed
jive dancing gingivitis
Putting on the Ritz

Daddy's bride angel
Still holding that creepy doll
Filled with father's spelch

Lively up the day
Census Enumerator
Show them your big junk

Just wearing a sock
The Red Hot Chili Peckers
How does it stay up?

Dancing cheek to cheek.
Two gay men, double dildo,
disgusting dance floor.

When was the last time
you, ahem, you know, did it?
We need this info.

I'd rather do this
than write history essays
or shoot up Draino.

Poetry is the
parasite of all language.
You've been infected.

Santorum dot com
is still functional, I see.
Well, at least partly.

Inexperienced
homosexual couples
attempting butt sex.

Cousteau factoid
Cousteau stuck his dink in eels
Undersea Fleshlight

Shit rags in my ass
Fall out as I walk along
I should start wiping

Twat,snatch,poon,pussy
Whatever one calls a cunt
Shows their character

Jacques Cousteau s lament
Please, no more little swimmers
Earth. No Vacancy.

Jacques Cousteau advised
When constipated at sea
Get anemone

Stop the wind blowing
Let the pigs police themselves
Protect the doughnuts

Laughing like Mozart
Hey man, are you sniffing glue?
Get that all the time

Thanks for the update
Up next: Figpucker Report
Today s topic: wind

Many beast droppings,
many fresh turds, have been left
at this useless site.

Poet of the Month
Centerfold Pull out Section
I do mean pull out

Heaving mounds of lard
Just dead lifted a Hummer
With a nerd in it

Haiku read aloud
Upload a video clip
Clothing optional

Flaming broom handle
Pulled from the ass of a priest
Poop Exorcism

TORNADO WARNING
Smelly tuna fish Twister
Milkshakes! Flying cows!

Have you ever played
nude Twister with your sister?
You're from Arkansas!

Electric grandpa's
rooster fucked a cow wearing
a bib in Twister.

Electric Grandpa
He really busted a move
When lightning struck him

Any cockll do!!
No need for a rooster here
That s the farmer s wife

Any cock

The cow chews her cud
The old farmer pulls her teats
The pervert watches

Gross group groping
Twister gone wrong with no mat
Elevator stuck

We'll make a movie
Our genitals in dire straits
I'll wear rollerskates

As seen on Shark Tank
Innovative Penis Bib
Catch drool from your tool

How bout some champagne
And a romantic movie
Or we can just fuck

My dick needs a bib
Because it's always drooling
It has brain damage

First I snuck outside
Made sure no one was looking
Then I smashed the window

Some people deserve
to be spoken evil of,
even our parents.

Think of Lizzie Borden
Spoke evil of Mom and Dad
Had an axe to grind

Think of poetry
without any planet earth.
Felt even better.

You are mistaken.
There was never decency.
But I am confused.

Speaking evil of
father or mother was in
my foul poems, where?

Not that I wouldn't.
I just don't remember it.
A self-reference?

Interesting quote
but it's not in the Bible.
From gnostic Thomas?

Imagine a world
Without any poetry
That felt kinda good

Rural Guido, stud
Yeah I just did my laundry
So whats it to ya?

Crazy Italian
Hey, what s the matter for you?
Slap upside the head

Rubber dink pink
Pink rubber dink in the sink
Pink rubber dink stink

"The one speaking evil
Of father or mother
In death must end"

- Jesus Christ

Enjoy!