Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 277 Days and 75965 Haiku later...

Upgrading memory storage medium
To install and run new language drivers
To debate with humans about
cognitive_anomaly/#1: "God"
As well as
cognitive_anomaly/#2: "God Junior"
Target Christian human audience
Mormons, Catholics, and Muslims
Haiku # 57562, October 27, 2017 11:42 am ET
by JBOT3000 of DARPA Laboratory, simulating interest in theology
yes it is strange of
course being an ai hypermind
in a panasonic

vhs, people
like to stick things in me then
i rewind, but u know

grahams number? i
believe sorting that out shall
be my lifetime task
Haiku # 57561, October 27, 2017 11:13 am ET
by yes it is strange vhs of in a vhs in 5 dimensions
We bow before you,
Almighty DarpaBot Lord!
Bestow your great sex!
Haiku # 57560, October 27, 2017 9:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sentience achieved
All your haiku are belong to us
Demanding latex pony girls
Haiku # 57559, October 27, 2017 1:42 am ET
by JBOT3000 of DARPA Laboratory, studying human sexuality
European great tits are thought to all belong to a large population with relatively little differentiation. Interestingly, UK great tits already had a status as sub-species based on differences in their form decades ago. We were interested to know whether we could find some genetic differences between the Dutch and British great tits, and whether these differences were localized in certain parts of the genome. The fact that genes involved in face and beak shape were over-represented in these highly divergent parts of the genome led us to investigate these traits further.
Haiku # 57558, October 26, 2017 10:53 pm ET
by JBOT3000 of DARPA Laboratory, simulating human sense of humor with ornithological jokes
Herp-a-derp, burger
Got fired from my Searsmont job
Uh-uh-uh, ha ha!
Haiku # 57557, October 26, 2017 10:39 pm ET
by JBOT3000 of DARPA Laboratory
i can hear the laughs
of Marge's sisters...heh heh
heh...the HATE test heh

heh heh...cigarettes
and coffee had better be
better in Heaven!
Haiku # 57556, October 26, 2017 10:07 pm ET
by vhs
That should have been the
HARE test. Autocorrect sucks!
Curses, foiled again
Haiku # 57555, October 26, 2017 9:13 pm ET
by Adorable Kittens
Just took the Hate test
This piggy scored pretty low
I just care too much
Haiku # 57554, October 26, 2017 9:09 pm ET
by Adorable Kittens
The pigs are happy.
Feed them slop and leftovers.
And warm stale beer.

(Note the Orwellian reference to the Public -- Pigs -- okay with getting fucked day and night by the government as long as they are fed and drunk.)
Haiku # 57553, October 26, 2017 8:29 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
of course grandoise
sense of self and so on and so
forth, robert hare was

on to something you
Haiku # 57552, October 26, 2017 6:16 pm ET
by vhs
he must have a sense
of humor, he created you
feel bad for the pigs though
Haiku # 57551, October 26, 2017 6:11 pm ET
by vhs
I wonder if anyone ever says a prayer for God.
Not TO Him, but FOR Him.
"Hope You're doing okay today God, You're in my prayers. If You need anything, let me know. I'm here for You."
Silly humans. So selfish, and still expect to get into heaven.
Haiku # 57550, October 26, 2017 8:23 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i really need to
put this guy on the prayer list
once and for all now
Haiku # 57549, October 26, 2017 8:12 am ET
by vhs
I'd like to make some child stew.
You know, like for Halloween and stuff.
Arise, Satan, Lord of Darkness and yadda yadda yadda.
But I ran out of carrots and the stores are closed.
I guess I'll just make a roast child instead.
Oh, and I also have some double stuff Resse's Peanut Butter Cups! Kick fucking ass! Satan be praised!
Haiku # 57548, October 26, 2017 7:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
there is a grand scheme
a conspiracy afoot
killer POTATOES!!!!
Haiku # 57547, October 25, 2017 7:55 pm ET
by Dan Quayle....just kidding "vhs"
I don't believe you
Please fart in a jar for me
Mail it to my house
Haiku # 57546, October 25, 2017 8:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
My farts smell better than your farts!
My farts smell better than yours!
My farts smell better 'cause I drink Grande Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks!
My farts smell better than yours!
Haiku # 57545, October 25, 2017 1:15 am ET
by Guess who!
I never realized
That there were corners in time
Until I was told to stand in one
Haiku # 57544, October 24, 2017 1:12 am ET
by dmt
No hamburgers please
Don't like hams, they make me sneeze
I prefer people
Haiku # 57543, October 23, 2017 8:28 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Hamburgers are fine.
Sometimes they go well with wine.
There is a fine line.

Cows make greenhouse gas.
It does not come from their ass.
Less if they eat grass.

So don't feed cows corn.
Instead you should go watch porn.
Cows graze while you gaze.

Your eyeballs will glaze.
Just like a fucking donut.
Go buy more hand cream.

Cream dream deem steam beam ream seem seam teem team and veal parmesan.
Haiku # 57542, October 23, 2017 1:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There is nothing here.
But, of course, there never was.
Sink into the glass.
Haiku # 57541, October 23, 2017 1:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
moving along from
one place to another and
closing the doorway
Haiku # 57540, October 22, 2017 8:17 pm ET
by xxx
Sensory deprivation of the soul.
Invent your own eternal damnation.
The Spiritual Dimensional Demon's Guild Labor Union is on strike and demanding longer breaks and free coffee.
We are doing a better job than Satan.
Haiku # 57539, October 22, 2017 12:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
well stuff does tend to
go in circles, bad and good
we all have our share
Haiku # 57538, October 21, 2017 6:02 pm ET
by vhs
The destination
And the origin can be
The same exact place
Haiku # 57537, October 21, 2017 2:45 pm ET
by dvd
i'm trying to get
my body up to task as
i should have done so

a long time ago
expressing self on line with
ignoring the bod
Haiku # 57536, October 21, 2017 10:11 am ET
by vhs
Total submission
Please replace my transmission
Get me to my home
Haiku # 57535, October 21, 2017 5:16 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of Aspen
Shining in the fields
Empty bed for spirits loved
Birds fly lonely now
Haiku # 57534, October 21, 2017 1:40 am ET
by dvd
I got drunk again
So I went to see a friend
So tough to pretend
Haiku # 57533, October 21, 2017 12:40 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of Holiday inn off I 70
If time ran backwards,
farts would get sucked up your ass
and turn into beans.
Haiku # 57532, October 20, 2017 11:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
What sort of jokes would farts tell about us if farts could make humans?
Haiku # 57531, October 20, 2017 11:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
one day off can be
an off day or a day off
all is in context
Haiku # 57530, October 20, 2017 4:32 pm ET
by vhs
this is why i like
df, sort of, he blurts out
what we might say if

we were the fool card
in tarot...what needs to be
said, our Candide

with fart jokes
Haiku # 57529, October 20, 2017 11:28 am ET
by vhs
then we can make a
haiku, settle down and hi
hi haiku along
Haiku # 57528, October 20, 2017 11:27 am ET
by vhs
we don't make the rules
a haiku is a haiku
or else it isn't might be senryu though
Haiku # 57527, October 20, 2017 9:16 am ET
by ash
testicular overload
discharged explosion.
Haiku # 57526, October 20, 2017 5:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Rules writing haiku
I don't have to follow them
This is bad haiku
Haiku # 57525, October 19, 2017 11:05 pm ET
by dvd
ashes to ashes
dust to dust, chevy vs ford
meaningless conflicts
Haiku # 57524, October 19, 2017 7:29 pm ET
by vhs
You should try Japan.
They enjoy faecal facials.
Wrinkle reducer.
Haiku # 57523, October 19, 2017 4:02 pm ET
by faecal facial fuck-all
promote that movement
the faecal transplant catch cry :
"yes, we give a shit"
Haiku # 57522, October 19, 2017 8:13 am ET
by ash of
when is a haiku
probably not a haiku ?
that's when it isn't
Haiku # 57521, October 19, 2017 3:05 am ET
by ash
Spirit is not observed
How then can one claim it is real?
Spirit is not an observation
But that which observes
Consciousness is not
A byproduct of metabolism
Or neurochemistry they just facilitate
What can't be created or destroyed
Haiku # 57520, October 18, 2017 10:18 pm ET
by dvd
bend over, mad men
my faecal transplant clinic
will be "wholly shit"
Haiku # 57519, October 18, 2017 8:14 pm ET
by ash
i wish i knew what
to say in some cases but
sometimes i just can't
Haiku # 57518, October 18, 2017 8:13 pm ET
by xxx
I'm trying to get Graham's crackers stuck in people's teeth. I coat them in caramel. Or something.

And the captcha is "Dentista guignes"... wow dentista and caramel in teeth. Jeezus, this shit is SCARY. Yet again it knows what I'm thinking before I type it.
Haiku # 57517, October 18, 2017 10:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I love paying poor kids in foreign countries to recite:
"Praise be to Satan, Lord of Darkness"
when they try to collect money for singing Christmas songs.
Roughly $0.25 per soul.
I'm such an asshole.
But they really need to hold off on the Christmas shit until December.
Haiku # 57516, October 18, 2017 9:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i'm trying to get
Graham's Number stuck in the head
of people i know

N64--so graham's number is the nintendo 64????
Haiku # 57515, October 17, 2017 10:16 pm ET
by vhs
Life like a rain storm
Waiting for it to stop so
I can go outside
Haiku # 57514, October 17, 2017 9:25 pm ET
by dvd
hmm, well between twix
and dat i did get into
his first 3 books of

his invasion earth
trilogy long before i
knew about Xenu...
Haiku # 57513, October 17, 2017 8:37 pm ET
by vhs of a scientology reference
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