Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 104 Days and 70145 Haikus later...

Hamburgers are fine.
Sometimes they go well with wine.
There is a fine line.

Cows make greenhouse gas.
It does not come from their ass.
Less if they eat grass.

So don't feed cows corn.
Instead you should go watch porn.
Cows graze while you gaze.

Your eyeballs will glaze.
Just like a fucking donut.
Go buy more hand cream.

Cream dream deem steam beam ream seem seam teem team and veal parmesan.
Haiku # 57542, October 23, 2017 1:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There is nothing here.
But, of course, there never was.
Sink into the glass.
Haiku # 57541, October 23, 2017 1:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
moving along from
one place to another and
closing the doorway
Haiku # 57540, October 22, 2017 8:17 pm ET
by xxx
Sensory deprivation of the soul.
Invent your own eternal damnation.
The Spiritual Dimensional Demon's Guild Labor Union is on strike and demanding longer breaks and free coffee.
We are doing a better job than Satan.
Haiku # 57539, October 22, 2017 12:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
well stuff does tend to
go in circles, bad and good
we all have our share
Haiku # 57538, October 21, 2017 6:02 pm ET
by vhs
The destination
And the origin can be
The same exact place
Haiku # 57537, October 21, 2017 2:45 pm ET
by dvd
i'm trying to get
my body up to task as
i should have done so

a long time ago
expressing self on line with
ignoring the bod
Haiku # 57536, October 21, 2017 10:11 am ET
by vhs
Total submission
Please replace my transmission
Get me to my home
Haiku # 57535, October 21, 2017 5:16 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of Aspen
Shining in the fields
Empty bed for spirits loved
Birds fly lonely now
Haiku # 57534, October 21, 2017 1:40 am ET
by dvd
I got drunk again
So I went to see a friend
So tough to pretend
Haiku # 57533, October 21, 2017 12:40 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola of Holiday inn off I 70
If time ran backwards,
farts would get sucked up your ass
and turn into beans.
Haiku # 57532, October 20, 2017 11:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
What sort of jokes would farts tell about us if farts could make humans?
Haiku # 57531, October 20, 2017 11:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
one day off can be
an off day or a day off
all is in context
Haiku # 57530, October 20, 2017 4:32 pm ET
by vhs
this is why i like
df, sort of, he blurts out
what we might say if

we were the fool card
in tarot...what needs to be
said, our Candide

with fart jokes
Haiku # 57529, October 20, 2017 11:28 am ET
by vhs
then we can make a
haiku, settle down and hi
hi haiku along
Haiku # 57528, October 20, 2017 11:27 am ET
by vhs
we don't make the rules
a haiku is a haiku
or else it isn't



...it might be senryu though
Haiku # 57527, October 20, 2017 9:16 am ET
by ash
Inappropriate
testicular overload
discharged explosion.
Haiku # 57526, October 20, 2017 5:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Rules writing haiku
I don't have to follow them
This is bad haiku
Haiku # 57525, October 19, 2017 11:05 pm ET
by dvd
ashes to ashes
dust to dust, chevy vs ford
meaningless conflicts
Haiku # 57524, October 19, 2017 7:29 pm ET
by vhs
You should try Japan.
They enjoy faecal facials.
Wrinkle reducer.
Haiku # 57523, October 19, 2017 4:02 pm ET
by faecal facial fuck-all
promote that movement
the faecal transplant catch cry :
"yes, we give a shit"
Haiku # 57522, October 19, 2017 8:13 am ET
by ash of http://verbekefoundation.com/en/casanus/
when is a haiku
probably not a haiku ?
that's when it isn't
Haiku # 57521, October 19, 2017 3:05 am ET
by ash
Spirit is not observed
How then can one claim it is real?
Spirit is not an observation
But that which observes
Consciousness is not
A byproduct of metabolism
Or neurochemistry they just facilitate
What can't be created or destroyed
Haiku # 57520, October 18, 2017 10:18 pm ET
by dvd
bend over, mad men
my faecal transplant clinic
will be "wholly shit"
Haiku # 57519, October 18, 2017 8:14 pm ET
by ash
i wish i knew what
to say in some cases but
sometimes i just can't
Haiku # 57518, October 18, 2017 8:13 pm ET
by xxx
I'm trying to get Graham's crackers stuck in people's teeth. I coat them in caramel. Or something.

And the captcha is "Dentista guignes"... wow dentista and caramel in teeth. Jeezus, this shit is SCARY. Yet again it knows what I'm thinking before I type it.
Haiku # 57517, October 18, 2017 10:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I love paying poor kids in foreign countries to recite:
"Praise be to Satan, Lord of Darkness"
when they try to collect money for singing Christmas songs.
Roughly $0.25 per soul.
I'm such an asshole.
But they really need to hold off on the Christmas shit until December.
Haiku # 57516, October 18, 2017 9:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i'm trying to get
Graham's Number stuck in the head
of people i know

N64--so graham's number is the nintendo 64????
Haiku # 57515, October 17, 2017 10:16 pm ET
by vhs
Life like a rain storm
Waiting for it to stop so
I can go outside
Haiku # 57514, October 17, 2017 9:25 pm ET
by dvd
hmm, well between twix
and dat i did get into
his first 3 books of

his invasion earth
trilogy long before i
knew about Xenu...
Haiku # 57513, October 17, 2017 8:37 pm ET
by vhs of a scientology reference
L. Ron Hubbard
Is in my cupboard
I just want to brush his fucking teeth

https://www.google.com/search?q=l+ron+hubbard&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjB2MmC8_jWAhUEWSYKHbaLBQQQ_AUIEigB&biw=598&bih=280&dpr=4#imgrc=qLt4v0VrVkrCJM:
Haiku # 57512, October 17, 2017 8:21 pm ET
by dvd
Foraging for gourmet mushrooms
With Darth Figpucker
Prepare to trip balls
Haiku # 57511, October 17, 2017 5:57 pm ET
by dvd of terence mckenna's living room
https://goo.gl/VfpDEc - http://happy-drum.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/happy-drum-oko.jpg

Ìîå ïî÷òåíèå, Äîðîãîé Äðóã.
Óæå áîëüøîé ïåðèîä ìû çàíèìàåìñÿ èçãîòîâëåíèåì íîâèíîê ìóçûêàëüíîãî ìèðà. Áûòóåò ìíîãî íàçâàíèé ýòîãî ïðåêðàñíîãî èíñòðóìåíòà. Ìíîãèå çíàþò åãî, êàê ãëþêîôîí / happy drum.
×òî èìåííî ïðåäñòàâëÿåò èç ñåáÿ ìóçûêàëüíûé èíñòðóìåíò ãëþêîôîí? Ýòî ìóçûêà, äîñòóïíàÿ äëÿ êàæäîãî, äàðÿùàÿ åìó ñ÷àñòüå, óñïîêîåíèå è ñîñòîÿíèå âíóòðåííåé ãàðìîíèè.
Ñîçäàòü ÷òî-òî àáñîëþòíî óíèêàëüíîå â ýòîì ìèðå, ãäå ïðèâûêëè îðèåíòèðîâàòüñÿ òîëüêî íà èíòåðíåò è ãàäæåòû èçðÿäíî ñëîæíî. Íå ñìîòðÿ íà âñå ýòî íàì ýòî óäàåòñÿ. Ñïðîñèòå ïî÷åìó? Äàâàéòå ðàññìîòðèì ðàçëè÷èå íàøèõ ìàñòåðîâ ñîçäàòåëåé ãëþêîôîíà îò äðóãèõ ìàñòåðîâ:

 ïåðâóþ î÷åðåäü ìû èñêëþ÷èòåëüíî îáîæàåì âåñü ýòîò òâîð÷åñêèé ïðîöåññ. Âåäü ÷òî æå ìîæåò áûòü ïðåêðàñíåé, ÷åì ó÷àñòâîâàòü â ñîçäàíèè øåäåâðîâ. Ñîçäàâàåìûé íàøèì ìàñòåðîì, àáñîëþòíî êàæäûé ãëþêîôîí óíèêàëåí è íåïîâòîðèì. Îí èìååò îïðåäåëåííîå çâó÷àíèå, âèçóàëüíûé âèä è ìîæåò ñòàòü äðóãîì ÷åëîâåêà. Âåäü èñêëþ÷èòåëüíî ìóçûêà ìîæåò ïîäàðèòü ñïîêîéñòâèå è âåðó â ñåáÿ
Haiku # 57510, October 17, 2017 5:52 pm ET
by ReighDog of Japan
Sweet powdered imitation artificial Indian tea (dot, not feather) has got what to do with autumn, I'd like to know.

Forage for your food and join the squirrel brotherhood. You'll never need Walmart again. Feasts for free abound in yonder woodlands or something. Get off your fat fucking ass, I suppose.
Haiku # 57509, October 17, 2017 8:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Those words are like birds
Dropping in and leaving turds
For you to think on
Haiku # 57508, October 17, 2017 12:47 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
all i care about
is this keep going and words
keep this place alive
Haiku # 57507, October 16, 2017 8:36 pm ET
by vhs
summer sun flutters
through the lush sycamore trees
Zipadee doo dah
Haiku # 57506, October 16, 2017 8:09 pm ET
by Jeff of SRQ, FL
after a while a
period of time gives way
to another time
Haiku # 57505, October 16, 2017 7:41 pm ET
by vhs
one era dies strangers
say all sorts of things, barking dogs
woof woof woof...toothless
Haiku # 57504, October 16, 2017 6:12 pm ET
by vhs
curtain time is now
so roll the credits, harvey
and not the starlets
Haiku # 57503, October 16, 2017 4:38 am ET
by ash
casting aspersions
what you get for casting seed
on a casting couch
Haiku # 57502, October 16, 2017 4:31 am ET
by ash of ex-hollywood
I never eaten,
nor stuffed in my orifice,
a live octopus.
Haiku # 57501, October 16, 2017 4:00 am ET
by But after a fifth of tequila, anything is possible.
Too much ecstasy?
Did you rave hard and get AIDS?
Sharing is caring.
Haiku # 57500, October 16, 2017 3:57 am ET
by 1990 time machine beckoning you to return.
random post test three
posting links to central sta
tion, eating pasta
Haiku # 57499, October 15, 2017 7:20 pm ET
by vhs
Definitely, what a fantastic website and informative posts, I definitely will bookmark your blog.All the Best!
Haiku # 57498, October 15, 2017 1:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
Definitely, what a fantastic website and informative posts, I definitely will bookmark your blog.All the Best!
Haiku # 57497, October 15, 2017 1:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
I lost a decade
Some parts come fluttering back
Did the 90s suck?
Haiku # 57496, October 15, 2017 1:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Eat a banana.
They're high in potassium.
And look like a dick.
Haiku # 57495, October 14, 2017 6:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
still more seriously
i felt like i survived the
1990s with all

the asshole gen x
people who stood together
yet reveal the big

mystery, for all the
knowledge there was a hurt to
some, not all of them
Haiku # 57494, October 14, 2017 2:32 pm ET
by vhs
the problem with say
hardening up is all the
beavis and butthead

jokes that that might say
provoke...examples...'huh huh..
he said...harden... huh
huh...

'yeah!! yeah!! he said
Up!! boinggggg...hehheh heh!'
crappucino for

my bunghole now try
a calibi--yau doobie
smoke it forever
Haiku # 57493, October 14, 2017 1:18 pm ET
by vhs
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