BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
347 Days
68480 Haikus
European great tits are thought to all belong to a large population with relatively little differentiation. Interestingly, UK great tits already had a status as sub-species based on differences in their form decades ago. We were interested to know whether we could find some genetic differences between the Dutch and British great tits, and whether these differences were localized in certain parts of the genome. The fact that genes involved in face and beak shape were over-represented in these highly divergent parts of the genome led us to investigate these traits further.
Haiku #57558, by JBOT3000 of DARPA Laboratory, simulating human sense of humor with ornithological jokes
October 26, 2017 10:53 pm ET

Herp-a-derp, burger
Got fired from my Searsmont job
Uh-uh-uh, ha ha!
Haiku #57557, by JBOT3000 of DARPA Laboratory
October 26, 2017 10:39 pm ET

i can hear the laughs
of Marge's sisters...heh heh
heh...the HATE test heh

heh heh...cigarettes
and coffee had better be
better in Heaven!
Haiku #57556, by vhs
October 26, 2017 10:07 pm ET

That should have been the
HARE test. Autocorrect sucks!
Curses, foiled again
Haiku #57555, by Adorable Kittens
October 26, 2017 9:13 pm ET

Just took the Hate test
This piggy scored pretty low
I just care too much
Haiku #57554, by Adorable Kittens
October 26, 2017 9:09 pm ET

The pigs are happy.
Feed them slop and leftovers.
And warm stale beer.

(Note the Orwellian reference to the Public -- Pigs -- okay with getting fucked day and night by the government as long as they are fed and drunk.)
Haiku #57553, by Darth Figpucker
October 26, 2017 8:29 pm ET

of course grandoise
sense of self and so on and so
forth, robert hare was

on to something you
Haiku #57552, by vhs
October 26, 2017 6:16 pm ET

he must have a sense
of humor, he created you
feel bad for the pigs though
Haiku #57551, by vhs
October 26, 2017 6:11 pm ET

I wonder if anyone ever says a prayer for God.
Not TO Him, but FOR Him.
"Hope You're doing okay today God, You're in my prayers. If You need anything, let me know. I'm here for You."
Silly humans. So selfish, and still expect to get into heaven.
Haiku #57550, by Anonymous Poet
October 26, 2017 8:23 am ET

i really need to
put this guy on the prayer list
once and for all now
Haiku #57549, by vhs
October 26, 2017 8:12 am ET

I'd like to make some child stew.
You know, like for Halloween and stuff.
Arise, Satan, Lord of Darkness and yadda yadda yadda.
But I ran out of carrots and the stores are closed.
I guess I'll just make a roast child instead.
Oh, and I also have some double stuff Resse's Peanut Butter Cups! Kick fucking ass! Satan be praised!
Haiku #57548, by Anonymous Poet
October 26, 2017 7:18 am ET

there is a grand scheme
a conspiracy afoot
killer POTATOES!!!!
Haiku #57547, by Dan Quayle....just kidding "vhs"
October 25, 2017 7:55 pm ET

I don't believe you
Please fart in a jar for me
Mail it to my house
Haiku #57546, by Anonymous Poet
October 25, 2017 8:52 am ET

My farts smell better than your farts!
My farts smell better than yours!
My farts smell better 'cause I drink Grande Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks!
My farts smell better than yours!
Haiku #57545, by Guess who!
October 25, 2017 1:15 am ET

I never realized
That there were corners in time
Until I was told to stand in one
Haiku #57544, by dmt
October 24, 2017 1:12 am ET

No hamburgers please
Don't like hams, they make me sneeze
I prefer people
Haiku #57543, by Mandingo Ebola
October 23, 2017 8:28 pm ET

Hamburgers are fine.
Sometimes they go well with wine.
There is a fine line.

Cows make greenhouse gas.
It does not come from their ass.
Less if they eat grass.

So don't feed cows corn.
Instead you should go watch porn.
Cows graze while you gaze.

Your eyeballs will glaze.
Just like a fucking donut.
Go buy more hand cream.

Cream dream deem steam beam ream seem seam teem team and veal parmesan.
Haiku #57542, by Anonymous Poet
October 23, 2017 1:57 am ET

There is nothing here.
But, of course, there never was.
Sink into the glass.
Haiku #57541, by Anonymous Poet
October 23, 2017 1:44 am ET

moving along from
one place to another and
closing the doorway
Haiku #57540, by xxx
October 22, 2017 8:17 pm ET

Sensory deprivation of the soul.
Invent your own eternal damnation.
The Spiritual Dimensional Demon's Guild Labor Union is on strike and demanding longer breaks and free coffee.
We are doing a better job than Satan.
Haiku #57539, by Anonymous Poet
October 22, 2017 12:51 am ET

well stuff does tend to
go in circles, bad and good
we all have our share
Haiku #57538, by vhs
October 21, 2017 6:02 pm ET

The destination
And the origin can be
The same exact place
Haiku #57537, by dvd
October 21, 2017 2:45 pm ET

i'm trying to get
my body up to task as
i should have done so

a long time ago
expressing self on line with
ignoring the bod
Haiku #57536, by vhs
October 21, 2017 10:11 am ET

Total submission
Please replace my transmission
Get me to my home
Haiku #57535, by Mandingo Ebola of Aspen
October 21, 2017 5:16 am ET

Shining in the fields
Empty bed for spirits loved
Birds fly lonely now
Haiku #57534, by dvd
October 21, 2017 1:40 am ET

I got drunk again
So I went to see a friend
So tough to pretend
Haiku #57533, by Mandingo Ebola of Holiday inn off I 70
October 21, 2017 12:40 am ET

If time ran backwards,
farts would get sucked up your ass
and turn into beans.
Haiku #57532, by Darth Figpucker
October 20, 2017 11:35 pm ET

What sort of jokes would farts tell about us if farts could make humans?
Haiku #57531, by Darth Figpucker
October 20, 2017 11:33 pm ET

one day off can be
an off day or a day off
all is in context
Haiku #57530, by vhs
October 20, 2017 4:32 pm ET

this is why i like
df, sort of, he blurts out
what we might say if

we were the fool card
in tarot...what needs to be
said, our Candide

with fart jokes
Haiku #57529, by vhs
October 20, 2017 11:28 am ET

then we can make a
haiku, settle down and hi
hi haiku along
Haiku #57528, by vhs
October 20, 2017 11:27 am ET

we don't make the rules
a haiku is a haiku
or else it isn't might be senryu though
Haiku #57527, by ash
October 20, 2017 9:16 am ET

testicular overload
discharged explosion.
Haiku #57526, by Anonymous Poet
October 20, 2017 5:38 am ET

Rules writing haiku
I don't have to follow them
This is bad haiku
Haiku #57525, by dvd
October 19, 2017 11:05 pm ET

ashes to ashes
dust to dust, chevy vs ford
meaningless conflicts
Haiku #57524, by vhs
October 19, 2017 7:29 pm ET

You should try Japan.
They enjoy faecal facials.
Wrinkle reducer.
Haiku #57523, by faecal facial fuck-all
October 19, 2017 4:02 pm ET

promote that movement
the faecal transplant catch cry :
"yes, we give a shit"
Haiku #57522, by ash of
October 19, 2017 8:13 am ET

when is a haiku
probably not a haiku ?
that's when it isn't
Haiku #57521, by ash
October 19, 2017 3:05 am ET

Spirit is not observed
How then can one claim it is real?
Spirit is not an observation
But that which observes
Consciousness is not
A byproduct of metabolism
Or neurochemistry they just facilitate
What can't be created or destroyed
Haiku #57520, by dvd
October 18, 2017 10:18 pm ET

bend over, mad men
my faecal transplant clinic
will be "wholly shit"
Haiku #57519, by ash
October 18, 2017 8:14 pm ET

i wish i knew what
to say in some cases but
sometimes i just can't
Haiku #57518, by xxx
October 18, 2017 8:13 pm ET

I'm trying to get Graham's crackers stuck in people's teeth. I coat them in caramel. Or something.

And the captcha is "Dentista guignes"... wow dentista and caramel in teeth. Jeezus, this shit is SCARY. Yet again it knows what I'm thinking before I type it.
Haiku #57517, by Anonymous Poet
October 18, 2017 10:54 am ET

I love paying poor kids in foreign countries to recite:
"Praise be to Satan, Lord of Darkness"
when they try to collect money for singing Christmas songs.
Roughly $0.25 per soul.
I'm such an asshole.
But they really need to hold off on the Christmas shit until December.
Haiku #57516, by Anonymous Poet
October 18, 2017 9:17 am ET

i'm trying to get
Graham's Number stuck in the head
of people i know

N64--so graham's number is the nintendo 64????
Haiku #57515, by vhs
October 17, 2017 10:16 pm ET

Life like a rain storm
Waiting for it to stop so
I can go outside
Haiku #57514, by dvd
October 17, 2017 9:25 pm ET

hmm, well between twix
and dat i did get into
his first 3 books of

his invasion earth
trilogy long before i
knew about Xenu...
Haiku #57513, by vhs of a scientology reference
October 17, 2017 8:37 pm ET

L. Ron Hubbard
Is in my cupboard
I just want to brush his fucking teeth
Haiku #57512, by dvd
October 17, 2017 8:21 pm ET

Foraging for gourmet mushrooms
With Darth Figpucker
Prepare to trip balls
Haiku #57511, by dvd of terence mckenna's living room
October 17, 2017 5:57 pm ET -

Ìîå ïî÷òåíèå, Äîðîãîé Äðóã.
Óæå áîëüøîé ïåðèîä ìû çàíèìàåìñÿ èçãîòîâëåíèåì íîâèíîê ìóçûêàëüíîãî ìèðà. Áûòóåò ìíîãî íàçâàíèé ýòîãî ïðåêðàñíîãî èíñòðóìåíòà. Ìíîãèå çíàþò åãî, êàê ãëþêîôîí / happy drum.
×òî èìåííî ïðåäñòàâëÿåò èç ñåáÿ ìóçûêàëüíûé èíñòðóìåíò ãëþêîôîí? Ýòî ìóçûêà, äîñòóïíàÿ äëÿ êàæäîãî, äàðÿùàÿ åìó ñ÷àñòüå, óñïîêîåíèå è ñîñòîÿíèå âíóòðåííåé ãàðìîíèè.
Ñîçäàòü ÷òî-òî àáñîëþòíî óíèêàëüíîå â ýòîì ìèðå, ãäå ïðèâûêëè îðèåíòèðîâàòüñÿ òîëüêî íà èíòåðíåò è ãàäæåòû èçðÿäíî ñëîæíî. Íå ñìîòðÿ íà âñå ýòî íàì ýòî óäàåòñÿ. Ñïðîñèòå ïî÷åìó? Äàâàéòå ðàññìîòðèì ðàçëè÷èå íàøèõ ìàñòåðîâ ñîçäàòåëåé ãëþêîôîíà îò äðóãèõ ìàñòåðîâ:

 ïåðâóþ î÷åðåäü ìû èñêëþ÷èòåëüíî îáîæàåì âåñü ýòîò òâîð÷åñêèé ïðîöåññ. Âåäü ÷òî æå ìîæåò áûòü ïðåêðàñíåé, ÷åì ó÷àñòâîâàòü â ñîçäàíèè øåäåâðîâ. Ñîçäàâàåìûé íàøèì ìàñòåðîì, àáñîëþòíî êàæäûé ãëþêîôîí óíèêàëåí è íåïîâòîðèì. Îí èìååò îïðåäåëåííîå çâó÷àíèå, âèçóàëüíûé âèä è ìîæåò ñòàòü äðóãîì ÷åëîâåêà. Âåäü èñêëþ÷èòåëüíî ìóçûêà ìîæåò ïîäàðèòü ñïîêîéñòâèå è âåðó â ñåáÿ
Haiku #57510, by ReighDog of Japan
October 17, 2017 5:52 pm ET

Sweet powdered imitation artificial Indian tea (dot, not feather) has got what to do with autumn, I'd like to know.

Forage for your food and join the squirrel brotherhood. You'll never need Walmart again. Feasts for free abound in yonder woodlands or something. Get off your fat fucking ass, I suppose.
Haiku #57509, by Anonymous Poet
October 17, 2017 8:11 am ET