Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 105 Days and 70157 Haikus later...


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Haiku # 55995, January 27, 2017 4:49 am ET
by molestr of France
drunker than Homer
sir, your heart has a murmur
unaffordable
Haiku # 55994, January 27, 2017 2:22 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Small yapping poodle.
Run down by an Army tank.
These thoughts warm my heart.
Haiku # 55993, January 26, 2017 9:08 pm ET
by df
How many knees would
negros grow if negros could
grow knees? Forty-two.
Haiku # 55992, January 26, 2017 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I mean double-stuffed.
Not those wimpy mini cups.
Eat them between tits.
Haiku # 55991, January 25, 2017 11:23 pm ET
by df
They are best frozen.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Chased with Sky vodka.
Haiku # 55990, January 25, 2017 11:19 pm ET
by Decadence
i like peanut butter
cups myself, nothing like
chocolate and that

addictive
Haiku # 55989, January 25, 2017 12:03 pm ET
by vhs
Oh my pretty mouth.
Much better than cigarrettes.
Prison currency.
Haiku # 55988, January 25, 2017 8:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pi-ells That is two.
Buttercup purty mouth boy.
Squeal loud for me.
Haiku # 55987, January 25, 2017 3:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
this feels like one guy
talking to himself when i
want to see more folks

talking to each post
and of course old fashioned post
this post that post these
Haiku # 55986, January 24, 2017 1:41 pm ET
by vhs
as for me i'm a
gonna write whatever and
hope it adds up here
Haiku # 55985, January 24, 2017 1:40 pm ET
by vhs
You should stick to math;
Piles is just one syllable
Look it up snowflake.
Haiku # 55984, January 24, 2017 9:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That's not a haiku.
"Piles" has two syllables.
You old foot pervert.

Yes, they leave shoes out.
Strange that foot-lovers aren't called...
pedophiles. Doh!

Much like Santa Claus,
You can leave "gifts" in their shoes.
Instead of their socks.

Gooey, sticky gifts.
It will increase shoe lifetime.
Chinese products suck.
Haiku # 55983, January 24, 2017 7:01 am ET
by df
These Asian shoe piles;
Do they leave them out at night?
Sniffing shoes is fun!
Haiku # 55982, January 24, 2017 12:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Asian shoe piles.
Huge mounds of shoes block front doors,
indicate who's rich.

The house entrance blocked.
The children inside will starve.
But it saves money.

With the money saved
buy a new house, make more kids,
go shopping for shoes.
Haiku # 55981, January 23, 2017 7:27 pm ET
by df
sounds like performance
art, not my nature to be
of that sort of act

meant to challenge the
social code of culture, but
times will come again

when poetry speaks
irony wails and people
will find doorways to

John Malkovich's mind
(floor 13 1/2 I think)
Haiku # 55980, January 23, 2017 1:47 pm ET
by vhs
You need a challenge
Pilfer something from someone,
mail it back to them
Haiku # 55979, January 23, 2017 1:03 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
autoerotic spam boots
you said the philipines well
what about Imelda?

and her shoes?
Haiku # 55978, January 22, 2017 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
Overlooking a fetid drainage creek from an uppity coffee shop in a 3rd world country, knowing I am the cause of all these problems, I ponder the fact that I cannot become as evil as I need to be to attain pure enlightenment.
Haiku # 55977, January 22, 2017 9:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
They farted so much
that they caused global warming
and arid conditions.

Those dumb sauropods.
They should have taken Bean-O.
What's in your gas tank?

We should all ride bikes.
In the end nothing matters.
extinction awaits.

Super cockroaches.
Advanced alien life forms.
Reproducing droids.
Haiku # 55976, January 22, 2017 8:22 am ET
by Doomsday is a Party
Dinosaurs are cool.
They were not responsible.
But should they have been?
Haiku # 55975, January 22, 2017 12:35 am ET
by
Reading these haiku.
A Philippino breakfast.
Fifty percent SPAM.
Haiku # 55974, January 22, 2017 12:33 am ET
by df
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Haiku # 55973, January 21, 2017 5:57 am ET
by 192.168.0.1 of NY
eye knead sum phat words
mathematics is gibberish
do time warp again
Haiku # 55972, January 21, 2017 4:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We think you should know,
Alpacas are animals.
John Elway is God
Haiku # 55971, January 21, 2017 3:52 am ET
by Raider Nation of Master Bait Station
Mudbox is a software for 3D sculpting and painting which is developed by Autodesk. kcdaekceffddeedk
Haiku # 55970, January 21, 2017 2:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
trump licked up my rump
obama licked my mama
Can't lick 'em? Join 'em.
Haiku # 55969, January 20, 2017 10:41 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
god bless 'merica
trump says now you're back on top
he's fucking with you
Haiku # 55968, January 20, 2017 9:26 pm ET
by ash
Hello!
Haiku # 55967, January 20, 2017 5:36 pm ET
by oroyuypo of USA
alpaca lips now
and llama assholes later
Dali Lama doll.

the brand new sex toy
inflatable Buddhist monks
all natural lube.
Haiku # 55966, January 20, 2017 2:42 pm ET
by
let the world burn down
the apocolypse has begun
I can't spell it right.
Haiku # 55965, January 20, 2017 2:24 pm ET
by df
hmm, given the theme
of today's guy in office
let haiku be great

again
Haiku # 55964, January 20, 2017 12:56 pm ET
by vhs
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Haiku # 55963, January 20, 2017 3:40 am ET
by yuorteee of USA
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Haiku # 55962, January 20, 2017 3:40 am ET
by peeteorp of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55961, January 20, 2017 3:39 am ET
by roypyryu of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55960, January 20, 2017 3:39 am ET
by trteeoti of USA
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Haiku # 55959, January 20, 2017 2:55 am ET
by genies alan of Tasik
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Haiku # 55958, January 20, 2017 2:51 am ET
by bin
i love you herpes
make me delicious sandwich
hot air balloon ride
Haiku # 55957, January 20, 2017 2:07 am ET
by amnotamouse pulpit
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Haiku # 55956, January 19, 2017 5:22 am ET
by tywttwto of USA
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Haiku # 55955, January 19, 2017 5:21 am ET
by rwwopwiw of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55954, January 19, 2017 5:18 am ET
by wwoewuti of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55953, January 19, 2017 5:18 am ET
by ywwirruo of USA
Sure, haiku is bad.
Is it worse to read or write?
Sloppy underpants
Haiku # 55952, January 19, 2017 12:40 am ET
by Satan take the wheel
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Haiku # 55951, January 19, 2017 12:01 am ET
by wiyweror of USA
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Haiku # 55950, January 19, 2017 12:00 am ET
by urirpywu of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55949, January 19, 2017 12:00 am ET
by oiweeowe of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55948, January 19, 2017 12:00 am ET
by tptorieo of USA
Hello!
Haiku # 55947, January 19, 2017 12:00 am ET
by roouppyt of USA
Learn to be happy.
Shove your cock up a dogs ass.
Think of Donald Trump.

But you were dreaming.
What's all over your bed sheets?
Nutella Cheetos.

How could it be worse?
You could be reading haiku.
Oh, but wait, you are.
Haiku # 55946, January 18, 2017 6:24 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of The basement of Trump Tower playing online chess with Vladameercat Pootin'.
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