Inverted boneless.
The very best pork rectums
that money can buy.

The more links to porn
and tasteless material,
the less spammers strike.

It is simple math.
Porn gets low google search scores.
Porn links are poison.

The more disgusting,
The lower the google rank.
dead-cat-sex (dot com).

Just if it's legal.
A prison cell with Jared
could not be much fun.

Check out that fine ass!
Fodder for a great haiku!
You see, I was right!

Dingleberry pie.
Just like grandma used to make.
Please hold the TP.

Mexican Haiku.
I should post some donkey porn.
Drug wars and spam bots.

Eeyore's Vacation.
Tijuana freak show gig.
He came back smiling.

tasty taco treats
also tasty lemon treats
they are so tasty

It's been many years
Since I've been on Bad Haiku
Why did I return?

You should not complain.
And you thought you had blue balls.
Do not mess with smurfs.

My cat is happy
tail up run to bathroom
faucet water love
visit us

last one i promise
anything else in person
bird bird bird's the word

so as i am raised
so is that ancient serpent
anyway fuck him

heat pressure cool it
the sword is forming quickly
see what i mean now?

when the energy
passes through stages of sin
it becomes metal

let it
let it
let it

otherwise it's just
a puddle of white
sticky viscous goo

alot i know but
i can't help but discharge it
psychic orgasm

expect confession
i bring forth living water
harmonic time wave

temperance as i
crack open another beer
not sure if dreaming

once a dad always
even if it's far away
still fucks you up though

lol jk
idk about dating
women freak me out

hello eleven
it is me the number one
i am half but not

infinity, ten
is just the number zero
with a little twist

merger
merger
merger

whoops i'm out of space
oh well i don't like it there
oh my god seven

i drank my own blood
the cure too is contagious
i found a way out

same ocean different wave
the seal of the living one
right on his shoulders

so how soon is now
conserve what i liberate
oh yeah i speak in tongues

i can drink poison
i charm snakes for a living
but they're getting bored

attention numbers
compressing information
pay me what you owe

shadows lurk a-broad ; )
light people eat the ember
what is repentance?

good haiku for you
one two three four five six sev-
whoops I'm out of space

numbers and letters
alternate universes
living together

We wonder some things:
What do the popes friends call him?
Has he a nickname?

lime juice and fishes
ceviche in Ventura
Mariela = Queen

simple agenda
purchased by fine ceviche
I'm cheap and happy

well i am not sure
where shit fits in the bible
or what to declare

as to confessional poetry
i am no priest, hypocritical or uncorrupt...merely a fairly corrupt protestant listening to an unrepentant guy talk about his many adventures and thinking no one gives a shit or hoping someone does

it's interesting, carry on

After much travel,
Aliens will be quite horny
They will stop for sex

Ten pound box of shit
Wonder where I should mail it...
Maybe to Daphne.

Procreate too late
Intimate ejaculate
Illegitimate

If aliens come
They will observe and not land.
Earth is quite toxic.

Its air and water
teeming with bacteria,
so ET won't come.

They might kill us
for what we have done as well
as our trash culture.

You can disagree,
but it would be cool, huh huh.
Yeah yeah, heh heh heh.

Or a hot waitress.
Or one of those surfer chicks.
As long as not wife.

I need a blow job.
The kind that can make you scream.
I knew this one girl...

She has a fat ass.
Graveyard shift secretary.
I'd make it jiggle.

Fucking morning wood.
Thinking of fat wife's cousin.
Perky tits, young, dumb.

overwhelming input
but a sense to let it all
go, and leave it be

Will Trump start a war?
If so, then I'll vote for him.
Any war is good.

I'd suck a dick for
a really good hamburger
and some onion rings.

Hey hey, we're the monkeys.
Monkey around with flying monkeys.
They'll poo on you like pigeons.
They'll throw it at you too.
splat splat splat

I want fly
You won't fly
What we should do?
Hay Hay..

Live in the earth
Live in the moon
Live where?
Damn!