Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

lime juice and fishes
ceviche in Ventura
Mariela = Queen
Haiku # 54359, September 9, 2016 5:19 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
simple agenda
purchased by fine ceviche
I'm cheap and happy
Haiku # 54358, September 9, 2016 5:18 pm ET
by studboy of Santa Monica, CA
well i am not sure
where shit fits in the bible
or what to declare
Haiku # 54357, September 9, 2016 1:42 pm ET
by vhs
as to confessional poetry
i am no priest, hypocritical or uncorrupt...merely a fairly corrupt protestant listening to an unrepentant guy talk about his many adventures and thinking no one gives a shit or hoping someone does

it's interesting, carry on
Haiku # 54356, September 9, 2016 1:34 pm ET
by vhs
After much travel,
Aliens will be quite horny
They will stop for sex
Haiku # 54354, September 7, 2016 3:09 pm ET
by Optimistic Earthling
Ten pound box of shit
Wonder where I should mail it...
Maybe to Daphne.
Haiku # 54353, September 7, 2016 3:06 pm ET
by Smoke my pole you spamming poo ball
Procreate too late
Intimate ejaculate
Illegitimate
Haiku # 54351, September 6, 2016 10:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If aliens come
They will observe and not land.
Earth is quite toxic.

Its air and water
teeming with bacteria,
so ET won't come.

They might kill us
for what we have done as well
as our trash culture.

You can disagree,
but it would be cool, huh huh.
Yeah yeah, heh heh heh.
Haiku # 54350, September 6, 2016 10:08 pm ET
by df
Or a hot waitress.
Or one of those surfer chicks.
As long as not wife.

I need a blow job.
The kind that can make you scream.
I knew this one girl...
Haiku # 54349, September 6, 2016 6:42 pm ET
by df
She has a fat ass.
Graveyard shift secretary.
I'd make it jiggle.
Haiku # 54348, September 6, 2016 6:39 pm ET
by df
Fucking morning wood.
Thinking of fat wife's cousin.
Perky tits, young, dumb.
Haiku # 54347, September 6, 2016 6:37 pm ET
by df
overwhelming input
but a sense to let it all
go, and leave it be
Haiku # 54345, September 6, 2016 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
Will Trump start a war?
If so, then I'll vote for him.
Any war is good.
Haiku # 54344, September 6, 2016 9:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'd suck a dick for
a really good hamburger
and some onion rings.
Haiku # 54343, September 6, 2016 9:47 am ET
by Wimpy
Hey hey, we're the monkeys.
Monkey around with flying monkeys.
They'll poo on you like pigeons.
They'll throw it at you too.
splat splat splat
Haiku # 54342, September 5, 2016 6:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I want fly
You won't fly
What we should do?
Hay Hay..
Haiku # 54341, September 5, 2016 3:17 pm ET
by Daivied
Live in the earth
Live in the moon
Live where?
Damn!
Haiku # 54340, September 5, 2016 3:15 pm ET
by Brado
I support the war.
World Ward III against China.
Fought with viruses.

They'll puke up cat meat.
Suffocate under piles
of fake brand name shoes.

The few survivors
will be forced to eat shards of
crushed bootleg CD's.
Haiku # 54339, September 5, 2016 9:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Router and IP
Wi-fi and lan
Visit our site and
you will be know what is it 192.168.l.l
Haiku # 54335, September 5, 2016 6:45 am ET
by Lin of Berlin
website manager
reading my words in real time
we owe you monkeys
Haiku # 54334, September 5, 2016 5:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
India arrives
You should have seen it coming
grandma went without
Haiku # 54333, September 5, 2016 5:21 am ET
by Spamboticus Eroticus of Diplodocus ricotta cud
the sky in my heart
poops in the mouth of your brain
thank you, come again
Haiku # 54330, September 5, 2016 5:05 am ET
by Darth Figpucker's Mom of Sexy Underground Bunker
spider fucked you up
did not say"I am sorry."
deal with it bitches
Haiku # 54329, September 5, 2016 4:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Her dildo has a
one-coulomb capacitor
upgrade from kick start.

His pocket pussy
hydrogen fuel cell powered
polyurethane.

Masturbate guilt-free.
Environmentally clean.
Life-sized T-rex toy.

Pee-Wee Herman caught
again, but this time watching
3D Godzilla.
Haiku # 54326, September 4, 2016 8:48 pm ET
by df
This is so empty.
Devoid of all emotion.
And you do not care.


.
.
.
.
.
.



"You" does not mean you;
No one in particular;
"you" in general.

vhs!
Haiku # 54325, September 4, 2016 11:14 am ET
by df
Eating out fat wife.
Familiar boring flavor.
It ain't butter scotch.
Haiku # 54324, September 4, 2016 10:57 am ET
by df
chicken sex not so
funny, poop, funny, horses
well i did know once of

LATEX PONY GIRL
but that's a real girl who wants
to be of burden
Haiku # 54323, September 4, 2016 10:55 am ET
by vhs
Beware the feces.
Carabao land mine hazards.
Lethal roads at night.

Here lies Jong Bong Fong.
Killed driving his bike through poop.
May he rest in peace.

He did not see it.
Eight hundred fifty pesos
for a new headlight.
Haiku # 54322, September 4, 2016 2:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
welcome paradise
made up by storytellers
market fundaments
Haiku # 54321, September 3, 2016 11:40 am ET
by vhs
Sit on the sideline...
Mercury Radiation
Marvin Gaye has dead
Haiku # 54320, September 3, 2016 5:36 am ET
by You head of the dead bed shed
You have been searching
traditional idea
with new recipient
Haiku # 54319, September 3, 2016 5:30 am ET
by Land of Liberty
Sound punishes us
Iceland volcano marble
Rock on my brother
Haiku # 54318, September 3, 2016 5:24 am ET
by Donkey of Monkey
But are they human?
No actualization!
They are only slaves.
Haiku # 54317, September 2, 2016 8:45 pm ET
by Self Expression
when it does come time
for robots to take away
low wage jobs from kids...

the whole wage slave gen
x thing seems to pale because
ideas vs tradition

the old plant closes
down, no pay phones, rental stores

poof, no kodak film
Haiku # 54316, September 2, 2016 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
If they were robots,
it would not be near as bad;
they are human slaves.
Haiku # 54315, September 2, 2016 10:25 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
if one could get the
spambots to say the name backwards
would they self destruct?

like a certain guy
in the superman comics
that was a trickster
Haiku # 54314, September 1, 2016 10:07 pm ET
by vhs
I'm wondering if a
computer server is in
a sort of digitized

seizure trying to
remember all these random codes
being spit out on here
Haiku # 54313, September 1, 2016 10:03 pm ET
by vhs
there is a method
to these random spammer names
like myxlwigpics.

If you google them
you'll find them on other boards
with more spam, of course.

My penis fell off.
Leprosy isn't so bad.
No fat wife begging.
Haiku # 54312, September 1, 2016 7:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Would you rather have
intestinal parasites
or read this poem?
Haiku # 54301, August 31, 2016 1:59 am ET
by DF
tucker carlson on
tv talking to this blonde strong
willed writer trashing

liberals again...
Haiku # 54300, August 30, 2016 10:24 am ET
by vhs
Walking from the bar,
I stepped in buffalo poop,
1:00 a.m. and drunk.

It oozed through sandals,
covering my sunburned feet,
and I did not mind.

Shooting stars passed by.
A lewd wish about young girls
far out of my league.

Dogs growled, barked, or whined
as I quietly passed by
wishing they would bite.

All of this is true.
Please take from it what you will.
Or just leave it here.
Haiku # 54299, August 29, 2016 9:46 pm ET
by DF
The open window
lets out a racket of farts
for neighbors to hear.
Haiku # 54298, August 29, 2016 9:27 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
and then he knifed him
self tired of hearing the
legalistic crap

consigning his soul
to hellfire over 5 bucks
on a contract signed
Haiku # 54295, August 29, 2016 12:35 pm ET
by vhs
Huffing super glue.
Getting drunk on cough syrup.
Paper bag spray paint.
http://www.dbalmax-reviews.com/
Haiku # 54294, August 29, 2016 9:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Looking for proven, effective Dianabol for Sale without side effects? Discover premium Dbal-Max Pills currently helping guys build mass safely. http://www.dbalmax-reviews.com/
Haiku # 54293, August 29, 2016 4:00 am ET
by Dianabol for sale of California
Feather duster worms.
Dry out and crush their remains.
Snort them like cocaine.

The ghosts of demons
dance naked in your left ear,
giving you orders.

Obey completely.
Do exactly as you're told.
Otherwise you'll die.
Haiku # 54292, August 29, 2016 12:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Something to ponder;
If French people eat French toast,
do they call it "toast?"
Haiku # 54291, August 29, 2016 12:18 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Well, if it is French,
then it must be poetry.
Watch Killing Zoe.

There is a French whore
asking to be shat upon.
It sounds beautiful!
Haiku # 54290, August 28, 2016 8:39 pm ET
by DF
if you pull your damn
t-shirt over your head one
more time well you know

we need to reduce
the crappucino intake
to reduce relapse
Haiku # 54288, August 27, 2016 11:42 am ET
by vhs
I should go get drunk.
And then cheat on my fat wife.
Instead of working.
Haiku # 54287, August 27, 2016 7:46 am ET
by df
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >