My zipper opens,
revealing more about me
than I would care to.
by Darth Figpucker
the browser opens
revealing more about me
than the internet
by ash
Flatulence reverb
whilst in the surfing line-up.
Those in ear-shot laugh.
The thump is deeper.
Fiberglass amplifies bass.
The sharks stay away.
by Darth Figpucker
Hello!
by otwptyey of USA
He sells pricey coffee.
Yuppies love when he says "cheers".
It's not wrong to hate.
by Darth Figpucker
and if or but these
days fear rules the waves and eats
the electorate
by vhs
so it goes he said
but he saw dresden burn and
wondered why he lived...
by vhs
Vonnegut is dead
His words are all that remains
"So it goes" they say
by Anonymous Poet
A butterfly shat
on the imported taco
of Donald Trump's wife.
She washed it right down
with cheap generic vodka
and belched quite loudly.
Her boyfriend stopped by
and they had sex all night long
while Donald just snored.
by Darth Figpucker
I recall stealing
Playboys from the Get-N-Go
when I was a lad.
Many a fond wank
was to be had in those days.
Now, goat porn dot com.
by Darth Figpucker.
They want their ipads.
We wanted our MTV.
What was before that?
by Darth Figpucker
Lays potato chips.
Monster trucks and drag racing.
Weaponized herpes.
by Darth Figpucker
Going for a beer.
I'll write a dirty haiku,
just for the waitress.
I'll keep you posted.
Jut please do not tell my wife.
She would be angry.
She hates me enough.
Lets not give her more reason.
On the other hand...
Who gives a rats ass.
Damned if I do or do not.
That waitress is hot!
by Darth Figpucker
The dog licked himself.
And he was rather content.
Could you say the same?
Haiku Subtlety
is pointless on this website
so I'll spell it out.
So you can feel good,
If you need an audience,
the dog has you beat.
Go write some haiku
and flush them down the toilet.
That is your homework.
by Darth Figpucker
The greatest boxer
was not Ali, but Jim Jones.
One punch killed hundreds.
by Anonymous Poet
i wonder if the
spam ads count as part of the
art of this website
by vhs
Jane Goodall is mean.
She taught Chimps to use dildos.
And then sign "I came".
by darth figpucker
have a drink for me
i spent too much money on
a used car repair
by vhs
I did my own thing.
Better than her doing it.
My thing is happy.
by Anonymous Poet
final syllable
in last abomination
should've read as "stench"
by Lush of Steno Pool
filthy signature
calligraphic turd emblem
witnesseth the smell
by Lush
coprophilia
brown love dare not speak its name
reduced to signing
by Lush
the upstream feces
an ineluctable force
woe is the downstream
by Lush
falling overboard
nude with a turtlin' dookie
ahoy down below
by Lush
do i go along with
the joke and respond or do
i do my own thing??????
by vhs
My wife is too fat.
I don't want to fuck her now.
What am I to do?
by Darth Figpucker
i had a poem
on my mind but now it slips
what i was to say
by vhs
Rio De Janeiro
Filthy rotten trash cesspool
Lets go for a swim
by Anonymous Poet
pour some sugar on
def leppard waits to hear the
sarcasm fly out
by vhs
Coffee enima.
Do you take cream and sugar?
That one lump or two?
by Darth Figpucker
i drink coffee and
i drink more coffee and then
write stuff about it
by vhs of well it said 'bad haiku' this is pretty bad
There is a spider
I opened up my asshole
It crawled right inside
by filthy-nard
I don't have any eyes
Accidentally ate glass
Now I have no tongue
by filthy-nard of MY SKIIIIINNNN
I'd lose a finger
to lose the ring that's attached
and free my penis.
That's spontaneous.
I don't know where that came from.
Or maybe I do.
Priorities suck.
Sacrifices FOR children.
Not like Abraham.
by Darth Figpucker
Except for one ring,
I am completely naked
reading about poop.
Pooping in buckets.
So, like, where else would one poop
if not in a bucket?
Since you're getting old,
put it on your bucket list.
Call it a shit list.
I'm glad I'm naked
in an electric fan breeze
blowing on my balls.
by Darth Figpucker
how the hell can one
take a health clinic serious
if there's "mayo" in
the name of the place
fat on sandwiches reducing
chance at ill health?
by vhs
well also there's these new
channels on tv, viceland
people poop in buckets
skating, rebel gen
x crap for millenials
and of course, skating
by vhs
well if you give your
own self a blowjob is that
not cannibalism?
well you are eating
yourself...terrible joke you
know really, ah hell
by vhs
Eating itself up.
Like a gay contortionist.
Christ, I am tasteless.
by Darth Figpucker
and is this bboard
eating itself up sadly
early, late and speed
by vhs
And self-fucking men
are more poetic than, say,
bad haiku dot com.
by Anonymous Poet
Self-referenced poems
are more gay than a pile
of fat men fucking.
by Darth Figpucker
Humans should all die.
They've not one good quality.
This, for example.
by Darth Figpucker.
there were once bboards
people posted about things
now robots post things
who needs viagra
from bangladesh when the world
has turned satired
by vhs
well this is the world
of the future people who
have no sense of
history making
our computers, tablets and
devices to rule
by vhs
Why are poets gay?
They think pens are penises.
And so hold them close.
by Anonymous Poet
Masturbating rules!
Spanking it beats sex with you.
He said to his wife.
by df
I suck hamburgers.
Erotic cow grease dribbles.
With condom French fries.
Ice cream lubricant.
Peanut butter and KY.
Inappropriate.
Balcony pot shot.
Ten story sex food aiming.
Various targets.
Security guard!
Seven hundred points.
He should wear a hat.
by DF
His wife just left him.
She is having an affair.
With his fat sister.
He would have been glad,
but now his ex will get half
the inheritance.
by Darth Figpucker