What must I be now?
No longer my teenage angst
a fully grown troll.

I could use some strange.
Some strange strange from outer space.
Star Trek poon be good!

I don't wipe my ass.
I pour water down my back.
Quit killing the trees.

Physics 2 is hard.
Physics 1 is not too bad.
Magnetism sucks.

au revoir discworld
goodbye sir terry pratchett
your books will live on

I will give myself
Commit communicating
Thank you for this chance

Momentarily
lost my beer, then feeling scared
fought five or six bears

I wish I had more
Seattle laundromat sex
With angry gophers

Bicycle in shed
Dodge pickup parked on the street
Yet I choose to walk

My penis fell off.
Quick, go get the super glue!
Goddamn leprosy.

Supernatural
Ain't super or natural
Words will lie to you

Pooping on Arabs.
It's a rather fun pastime.
They pay me for it.

Hamburgler killed mom
Ronald McDonald killed dad
The food will kill me

There are no savings.
Call it daylight spending time.
Damn the Eskimos!

Always I try to
put it in a vagina.
So suck it up, ho!

Daylight savings time
Is nothing more than a scam
One hour less to sleep

Sometimes I cry too
But I'm not a vagina
So suck it up bruh

This is a haiku.
Or maybe it's a surf board.
I'll let you decide.

That's just my head lice
There is shampoo that kills them
and destroys their souls

Your hair is winter fire
January embers
My heart burns there too

It's all been a lie.
There IS money in heaven.
I bought a new harp.

Booze drink sedative
Nicotine pacifier
Herbal remedy

live long and prosper
be remembered for ever
but die just the same

No, God is not fair.
My life will not be the same.
Goodbye Mr. Spock.

Squirrels are talking
about taking earth over
And kicking us out

in life's dark forest
if nobody is looking
does a tree have wood ?

Illuminaughty.
Currency has sex symbols.
I blame Bill Clinton.

Mostly, I can't write
Even shitty Haiku, then
I crack myself up

the great forest sees
everything you do now
stop masterbating

Forty-two degrees.
I enjoy flicking boogers.
The perfect angle.

you can eat my dust
we're getting a new kitchen
eventually

New ice age appears
Melting will clean it all up
Then we go party

Six is difficult
Being nice even more so
I know how that goes

you can count to five
and you can count to seven
poetic failure

American snow
Carrying a chemical
Dawn of a new age

I can count to five
and I can count to seven
poetic masterpiece!

Got me a ticket.
Found fifteen cents and a hat.
Lottery winner!

My money is on
Nuclear catastrophe,
or maybe zombies

Let's go spread disease.
No other way to save earth.
Extinction event.

I like hamburgers
even if they don't have ham
They should stop lying

Isn't it funny
that Valentines Day has the
initials VD.

Disable symbols.
Especially these two here.
The spam will then die.

< and >

Do you need money?
Education is pointless.
Just go rob a bank.

Disable the code.
I mean the HTML.
The spammers will go.

Big data is fucked
The machines taking over
Don tin-foil hat

I refuse to quit
Maybe I am a dumb shit
I say, "so be it."

Back in the old days
The internet seemed so safe
Large listening device

blue ties
smiling at me
nothing but blue ties
do I see

you turds
parroting on
nothing but three words
that's too long

never saw the house looking so sad
never saw things going so bad
promises made, hurrying by
when you're in power, my how you lie

blue days
time you were gone
nothing but turnbull
from now on

I need to go shit.
I will force it if I must.
Watch my veins bulge out.

I want to own gold.
Platinum is okay too.
But gold is pretty.