Your hair is winter fire
January embers
My heart burns there too

It's all been a lie.
There IS money in heaven.
I bought a new harp.

Booze drink sedative
Nicotine pacifier
Herbal remedy

live long and prosper
be remembered for ever
but die just the same

No, God is not fair.
My life will not be the same.
Goodbye Mr. Spock.

Squirrels are talking
about taking earth over
And kicking us out

in life's dark forest
if nobody is looking
does a tree have wood ?

Illuminaughty.
Currency has sex symbols.
I blame Bill Clinton.

Mostly, I can't write
Even shitty Haiku, then
I crack myself up

the great forest sees
everything you do now
stop masterbating

Forty-two degrees.
I enjoy flicking boogers.
The perfect angle.

you can eat my dust
we're getting a new kitchen
eventually

New ice age appears
Melting will clean it all up
Then we go party

Six is difficult
Being nice even more so
I know how that goes

you can count to five
and you can count to seven
poetic failure

American snow
Carrying a chemical
Dawn of a new age

I can count to five
and I can count to seven
poetic masterpiece!

Got me a ticket.
Found fifteen cents and a hat.
Lottery winner!

My money is on
Nuclear catastrophe,
or maybe zombies

Let's go spread disease.
No other way to save earth.
Extinction event.

I like hamburgers
even if they don't have ham
They should stop lying

Isn't it funny
that Valentines Day has the
initials VD.

Disable symbols.
Especially these two here.
The spam will then die.

< and >

Do you need money?
Education is pointless.
Just go rob a bank.

Disable the code.
I mean the HTML.
The spammers will go.

Big data is fucked
The machines taking over
Don tin-foil hat

I refuse to quit
Maybe I am a dumb shit
I say, "so be it."

Back in the old days
The internet seemed so safe
Large listening device

blue ties
smiling at me
nothing but blue ties
do I see

you turds
parroting on
nothing but three words
that's too long

never saw the house looking so sad
never saw things going so bad
promises made, hurrying by
when you're in power, my how you lie

blue days
time you were gone
nothing but turnbull
from now on

I need to go shit.
I will force it if I must.
Watch my veins bulge out.

I want to own gold.
Platinum is okay too.
But gold is pretty.

Vaginas are bad.
They're even downright evil.
'Cause they make people.

Poo-poo is taboo.
Who do you know in the zoo?
The blue kangaroo.

Dingleberry pie.
Rhinoceroses are great.
Do you like my hat?

Haikus are awesome
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Jake, you silly fool.
Enjambment is a no-no.
Use three sentences.

This is a guide to
how many syllables you
need in a Haiku.

Tor, you need a whore.
Cash is real; VD is real.
And there is no love.

I just listened to
Careful with That Axe Eugene.
Brings back memories.

Love is a mirage
We share smiles but what's the point?
I need something real.

Is it the last storm
Spirals out of order, plows
Make snow ziggurats

Football game today
How could some become obsessed
with sweaty mean men

Magic hamster talks
about philosophy and
the beauty of life

You know you are grown
Old when pay phones are for sale
In antique locales

It sucks getting old.
Watching porn does not arouse.
Should I click the spam?

The spam viking sketch
Seems quite appropro to the
Ongoing pill bots

Flying saucer goat
Travels amongst the planets
Bringing joy to all

My wife just farted.
I breathed it in quite deeply.
I wish I hadn't.

Let's talk about sex
Just kidding, let's please not
I'm still a virgin

What is to stop me
From making a long ass post
On this stupid site?