My email is:
darthfigpucker@yahoo
dot com but of course.

My pen is penis.
Fertile ink wells are sperm cells.
I impregnate you.

Very soon to be.
Fifty thousand haiku.
Who will be the one?

The Viagra spam
Would be most appropriate.
We could call it art.

I'd rather solve a
differential equation
than write a haiku.

but of course a kind
word in politics or the
art of writing is

suicide

and it's funny, you're
writing poems condemning
poems that are you know

pretty damn good poems

ha ha ha! I am
the damned, poetry is the
very music of hell

VHS, do this:
Go buy yourself a young wife.
At the Philippines.

You will not be bored.
Your penis will be happy.
Poetry be damned!

laughs, I'm waiting for
someone to ask why I haven't
self destructed yet

I'm too fucking lazy
sloth will do the job for me
or my job just will

think about it, this
place beats twitter, short context
more real substance and...

less characters! (most of the time)

and boy oh boy how
I am hankering for some
hot thai noodles now

as for that "woumb woumb"
is the old vhs broke
eating the casette

damn it, if you hit
me on the head again to
"get me to run right"

I will tear up your
last copy of that art film
you will hear "woumb woumb"

just as kung pow is
about to beat karate
cow with a good move!

security code
'twas "favourably onhook"
if only, mon frere

as for ash, I vow
having lost beloved thrice
chin up, soul forward

those under twenty
we can safely disregard
for they know nothing

i'm under thirty
I, like, know everything ya'll
EVERYTHING is modern

multi stanza'd pomes
defeat the purpose haiku
distill your notions

newcomers galore
the interweb is replete
oldtimers beware

pedestrians, ho!
vhs off rails again
upgrade to blu-ray

damn it greedo, why
do you get the nonsense words
I didn't think of!!!!!!!

especially the nurse
in latex outfits and I
think she'll see you now?

humperuficus.
unambiguality.
fapfapfapfapfap.

Click on the hot link!
You can buy cheap viagra!
And stay hard all night!

"See a doctor if
your huge erection lasts for
more than 3 hours."

No, I don't think so!
I would rather see the nurse.
Grin, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

you burnt so brightly
yesterday incandescence
leaving today's butt

so what tickles your
fancy then eh? party on
wayne? we're not worthy?

this "boring" is what
some people want at some time
in their lives, "boring"

my irish rear end

the world keeps turning
yet even while the sun shines
it's dark in my heart

Oh, I mean, puh-leez!
This is just the internet.
Nothing here transcends.

I would rather be
surfing waves on an tropic
island paradise.

The universe was
made so that I could party.
Poetry is dull.

Poems attempt to
fill a gap like throwing sand
in the Grand Canyon.

The gap is not filled.
You will never be happy.
Words are just useless.

I want to write words
poetry, transcendant that
sort of thing really...

I'm not kidding how
I feel, what I want is real
I feel I need out

I need to be free
so I can no longer post here
and leave this all behind

Silly vhs
anything here is a joke
there are no death threats.

I am the owner
of a nuclear warhead.
No, really, it's true!

You see what I mean?
This is just silly nonsense.
And I eat boogers.

to be honest I
don't care if I live or die
the old I should have

been a contender
but I don't care how permanent
this writing is now

how embarassing it is
I am not permanent even if
this record of how I felt is

truth is I'm just pissed
and would rather go poof
than waste my time with

"the alpha male" whom
to me is an inferior
species altogether

we know that guy was
an extrovert and extros
are worth exterminating

if you want the reward
"alpha male" we will give you
a proper burial

when you go off for
us introverts to die in a foreign
war we will be happy

to send you for a cause
cause you follow whatever
lie we make up for you

isn't this so old school
some stranger posts some stuff and
I responded! how quaint.

a drunk guy once tapped
the back of my car, I stopped
to confront the man

he said "HEY LOOK AT
THIS GUY!" I would have thrown him
off into the pavement

thank God I walked away

and like the ronin
when our time comes to die then
we die with honor

are you as prepared
to face your own Maker when
His voice calls you home?

the chatroom troll they
sometimes grow up, and see their
real value in life

it makes me wonder
are you for real or just trying to
get my goat, get me

posting to get me going
get me in trouble, it would
be just as easy

to say forget this
place and you can have your little
sad angry ranting

but as far as I can
tell this place has come a long long
way from whence it was

dude, I don't know what
your problem is, but it's to
write haiku, not

hints of death threats

Those who put once-worn
panties in vending machines
also made haiku.

Those silly Nippers,
they will even eat raw fish
until they vomit.

I would be happy
if I were a Samurai
chopping off your head.

more like skeeter works
on his yard work and likes the
blue sky outside though

the blueberry rakes
are often held by Juan than
Joe, and life goes on

Skeeter humps chickens
all night long in the barn yard.
His momma don't mind.

I've noticed that the
margaritta is the name
of a drink, and woman

(I am sure I will be corrected over the spelling of the name)

Free Whataburger
Willpower all depleted
Joyful gluttony

I drank four loco
and I just had to try it
the cheap booze gimmick

"manscaping" inane
my pelvic region untamed
Hey, Mr. Kotter?

I am the I am.
Seek and find Me within you.
You will be complete.

pass me the bottle
hopefully NOT over the
head, and pour me one