Oh, I mean, puh-leez!
This is just the internet.
Nothing here transcends.

I would rather be
surfing waves on an tropic
island paradise.

The universe was
made so that I could party.
Poetry is dull.

Poems attempt to
fill a gap like throwing sand
in the Grand Canyon.

The gap is not filled.
You will never be happy.
Words are just useless.

I want to write words
poetry, transcendant that
sort of thing really...

I'm not kidding how
I feel, what I want is real
I feel I need out

I need to be free
so I can no longer post here
and leave this all behind

Silly vhs
anything here is a joke
there are no death threats.

I am the owner
of a nuclear warhead.
No, really, it's true!

You see what I mean?
This is just silly nonsense.
And I eat boogers.

to be honest I
don't care if I live or die
the old I should have

been a contender
but I don't care how permanent
this writing is now

how embarassing it is
I am not permanent even if
this record of how I felt is

truth is I'm just pissed
and would rather go poof
than waste my time with

"the alpha male" whom
to me is an inferior
species altogether

we know that guy was
an extrovert and extros
are worth exterminating

if you want the reward
"alpha male" we will give you
a proper burial

when you go off for
us introverts to die in a foreign
war we will be happy

to send you for a cause
cause you follow whatever
lie we make up for you

isn't this so old school
some stranger posts some stuff and
I responded! how quaint.

a drunk guy once tapped
the back of my car, I stopped
to confront the man

he said "HEY LOOK AT
THIS GUY!" I would have thrown him
off into the pavement

thank God I walked away

and like the ronin
when our time comes to die then
we die with honor

are you as prepared
to face your own Maker when
His voice calls you home?

the chatroom troll they
sometimes grow up, and see their
real value in life

it makes me wonder
are you for real or just trying to
get my goat, get me

posting to get me going
get me in trouble, it would
be just as easy

to say forget this
place and you can have your little
sad angry ranting

but as far as I can
tell this place has come a long long
way from whence it was

dude, I don't know what
your problem is, but it's to
write haiku, not

hints of death threats

Those who put once-worn
panties in vending machines
also made haiku.

Those silly Nippers,
they will even eat raw fish
until they vomit.

I would be happy
if I were a Samurai
chopping off your head.

more like skeeter works
on his yard work and likes the
blue sky outside though

the blueberry rakes
are often held by Juan than
Joe, and life goes on

Skeeter humps chickens
all night long in the barn yard.
His momma don't mind.

I've noticed that the
margaritta is the name
of a drink, and woman

(I am sure I will be corrected over the spelling of the name)

Free Whataburger
Willpower all depleted
Joyful gluttony

I drank four loco
and I just had to try it
the cheap booze gimmick

"manscaping" inane
my pelvic region untamed
Hey, Mr. Kotter?

I am the I am.
Seek and find Me within you.
You will be complete.

pass me the bottle
hopefully NOT over the
head, and pour me one

my job is to live
my family the muses
I shall ramble on

sanctimonious
purveyor most prosaic
bully for anon.

if I hear one more
philosopher saying time
does not exist...then

off to the hockey
penalty box with that cat
and now the last line

the news we don't hear
is the good news of the day
come spring tomorrow

there's moments in life
where it's all numbers and a
economic case

well lush, whilst i try
and solve job issues and fam
issues ramble on

pharmacy window
ajar and glowing neon
boundless repertoire

a leaf in stasis
shall I turn it right over?
after one last binge

undeserved health
engenders survivor guilt
demented am I

holy ennui, mates
echocardiogram fine
my renewed vigor

inert but i'm not
ironic that the world turns
as i go nowhere

when all is said and
done, the golf clubs and gold watch
what is there to life

Small talking ad men
Happy hour tomorrow
Network to the top

I don't know, there's this
my style is better than your
style bullshit in writing

but stupid often
sells better than some art book
so what's the rub aye?

incipient pain
erupting from clad disdain
woe betide rising

gallery awaits
my pigment is dwindling
canvas for kind'ling

joker's laziness
is it funny cause it's lame
I sure believe so

belay that, that was
"bad mood haiku" and it
doesn't always work

you know it might be
sad and down but maybe I
need to stop trusting

I don't trust anymore

that's why I don't click
on the hot links, still a bit
you know you know you...

Yo momma so poor
She reads badhaiku.com
To get the free Spam.

well the spam seems a
bit obsolete like it doesn't
really matter much

didn't abbie hoffmann
already do that with his
"fuck army" salute?

More profanity
Is exactly what haikus
need more of today.

the news hollers and
the american consumer
eats it like chef boyardee

and big macs

times of conflict vs
times of peace and order vs
times of transition

indulge all askance
dance an accordion theme
collapse abruptly

presume a fine scheme
then chase solace, so serene
bitten from behind