A tough-talking thug
just keeps talking and talking.
with nothing to show.

ghetto birds whirling
Police in their black riot gear.
-- Typical school day.

it's often the last
resort to sit alone and
just watch the people

welcome as a fresh
wind blows in to shake the sand
and dust off these souls

Twelve and one-half years
Fourty-four thousand haikus
And bad ones at that!

The pleasure of tea
Warm, bitter-sweet in my mouth
Recharge my spirit.

One large cheese pizza
hot and ready for five bucks
What an awesome deal!

Does no one hear me?
Silent cries for help unheard.
Screaming at the blind.

Laser or ink-jet?
Copier and scanner, too?
Too many choices.

A girl I talk to
teases me with her beauty.
Why can't I have her?

Physical contact
with girls can be very nice.
Not if it's your sis.

Red laser pointer.
Blinds me when it hits my eye
Didn't see that one.

5 7 7
7 1 3 4 1 2
is my SSN

It is okay, though.
Just try to steal my ID.
It's safe with LifeLock.

words gushing like flood
oceanic lull disturbed
sky sliced by lightning

Ten more haikus left
Really nine after this one.
So close, yet so far.

How many hiakus
Must a haiku master write
To be a master?

White-out or erase?
Why did I write with a pen?
Glad it's not marker.

Suicide bomber
Promised virgins in heaven
Surprised he's in hell

Pelosi tells lies
about knowledge of "torture"
Why not tell the truth?

Knives, ripping, and pain.
Drip-drop of blood on the floor.
I lost a kidney.

Jingle Bells. Jingle.
Oh what fun it is to ride.
One-horse open sleighs.

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream. Merry.
Life is but a dream.

Stainless Steely Dan
His music has stained my heart.
Tears run down my cheeks.

I will pass the buck.
If it's at all possible.
You cannot blame me.

Indispensible.
You can't possibly dispense
without it, can you?

I talked with Nicole
about a drill in ACEIT.
Then showed her this site.

Cube of six colors
Spin your sides to solve you fast.
Rubik's Cube is hard.

Join my tea party.
The government spends too much.
Rise up and protest.

Deutsch haiku ist toll
Verstehst du dieser Sprache?
Sehr auzgezeichnet.

I am an old fish
caught and imprisoned for life.
Don't fall for jailbait.

Control X will cut
or copy with Control C
Paste with Control V

This works with PCs
but not with Apples or Macs
Press Apple instead.

If you use Linux
There are more buttons to press
Try Control and Shift

Use a typewriter?
You can't cut, copy, or paste.
Get a computer.

Godly Chuck Norris
Please don't roundhouse kick my face
Are you my father?

Some clowns to my left
and some jokers to my right
Stuck in the middle

Will I reach my goal?
Should I have set a quota?
Only time will tell.

Ash of rap haiku
Scares me more than you will know
Scream, run, hide in fear

such a lot o' me
win is such a lottery
on an' on you see

there's no stoppin' me
maybe a lobotomy
can down throttle me

hip hop haiku ? hell !
that's the future i can tell
let me ring that bell...

stuck in the middle
sweating like a pig in mud
i can smell the rain

I've reached my quota
Thirty haikus for the day
I am done, for now!

Yeah! Chocolate time!
The bells ring their sweet promise
of sweet-tasting treats!

At last, not alone!
Strong is your haiku, Jedi.
Light side or dark side?

A B C D E
F G H I J K L
M N O P Q

R S T U V
W X Y and Z
Know your A B C's!

uhmmm ray, are you bored?????
the next line will be seven
and this one is five

You see this? Do ya?
Listen, primitive screwheads!
This is my boomstick!

Tidal waves of time
Crash on the shore of my soul
Wash away the guilt

Email in plain text!
No more animated gifs!
What will Francine do?

Haikus are written
by lost souls, forever damned
to count syllables.

Silence is golden
That's one reason it's so hard
to find rich women.

Blue water bottle.
I turn you over and sigh.
Empty once again.

Dwell not on pain
for I can give you much more.
How much do you want?

One random haiku
is as good as you can get
when it's not random.