Deutsch haiku ist toll
Verstehst du dieser Sprache?
Sehr auzgezeichnet.

I am an old fish
caught and imprisoned for life.
Don't fall for jailbait.

Control X will cut
or copy with Control C
Paste with Control V

This works with PCs
but not with Apples or Macs
Press Apple instead.

If you use Linux
There are more buttons to press
Try Control and Shift

Use a typewriter?
You can't cut, copy, or paste.
Get a computer.

Godly Chuck Norris
Please don't roundhouse kick my face
Are you my father?

Some clowns to my left
and some jokers to my right
Stuck in the middle

Will I reach my goal?
Should I have set a quota?
Only time will tell.

Ash of rap haiku
Scares me more than you will know
Scream, run, hide in fear

such a lot o' me
win is such a lottery
on an' on you see

there's no stoppin' me
maybe a lobotomy
can down throttle me

hip hop haiku ? hell !
that's the future i can tell
let me ring that bell...

stuck in the middle
sweating like a pig in mud
i can smell the rain

I've reached my quota
Thirty haikus for the day
I am done, for now!

Yeah! Chocolate time!
The bells ring their sweet promise
of sweet-tasting treats!

At last, not alone!
Strong is your haiku, Jedi.
Light side or dark side?

A B C D E
F G H I J K L
M N O P Q

R S T U V
W X Y and Z
Know your A B C's!

uhmmm ray, are you bored?????
the next line will be seven
and this one is five

You see this? Do ya?
Listen, primitive screwheads!
This is my boomstick!

Tidal waves of time
Crash on the shore of my soul
Wash away the guilt

Email in plain text!
No more animated gifs!
What will Francine do?

Haikus are written
by lost souls, forever damned
to count syllables.

Silence is golden
That's one reason it's so hard
to find rich women.

Blue water bottle.
I turn you over and sigh.
Empty once again.

Dwell not on pain
for I can give you much more.
How much do you want?

One random haiku
is as good as you can get
when it's not random.

badhaiku.com
Do you check the syllables?
You don't! But I do!

Mirrors in your pants
Let me to see myself in them.
Looking very good.

MILF's can be so hot.
Unless your mom is a MILF.
Then you have problems.

Go for quantity.
Quality's over-rated.
Kind of like your mom.

Haiku-ing gangsters
scare me more than rapping ones.
Don't try rap haikus.

Invisible wound.
No one can see it but me.
Painful reflections.

Where did I put it?
I can't find my heart today.
You stole it last night.

Publishing haiku
has never been this easy!
Four fields and you're done!

Mix dihydrogen
with monoxide and you get
water, clean and pure.

Just sit yourself back
and I will tell you a tale
of a fateful trip.

Backward looking b's
We call them by many names.
Another is d.

badhaiku.com
Such a wonderful website
for my artistic works.

One Big Ass Mistake,
America. Lead no more.
Socialism kills.

Five-foot walls divide
me from my fellow workers.
Boss, tear down this wall!

Pain on my bottom.
Dripping blood from hemmorhoids.
Where is my donut.

Sunglasses of guile
hide my true ambitions well.
Never realized.

Peanuts or penis?
Both have nuts so delicious.
If you're hot, try mine.

What is bad haiku?
I do not know how to count
all the syllables.

I'm not a cat fan
But they do have their use's
To advance mankind

As in this pseudo-intellectual scientific approach to advanced cat yodelling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxtG2wtE7TM

if you look closer
ducks struggle the same as swans
caught in an oil slick

ok ok...crack the nut
shatter the metaphor of
"skull", break my own shell

Aghhhh BS shut up
Shut up! Shut up! Please!!!!!
I'm begging you! Please!!!

Lets take a vote then
Honest! Do you read BS?
I don't that's for sure!

the boredom sets in
i up-end the chair to see
if the gay joke works

how embarrassing
lose that extra syllable
turning in my grave

no arguments please
just basic numeracy
how hard can that be ?

epitaph suggestions ?
though he's down for the count now
he gave good haiku

ice cold German beer
beach bods sailboats on parade
on the waterfront