Traveled back in time
So I could knock up Mary
Then I would be God

Edward Pussyhands
with his monthly stigmata
must lick his own wounds

Hungry Mr Bond?...
Sushi alla Chernobyl!
...die another day.

Cyber-pilgrimage,
900 million Jedis.
Can you feel the force?

Charles Neslon Reilly
Would get angry filthy drunk
And stare at my crotch

a crown and a plate
the spoon got mad and chucked it
it flittered then fell

hairy girl penis
boner drunk, butt-hole problem
sex egg smelly dick

Edward Scissorhands
Has dreams of masturbation
Cries softly when wakes

Ye! What is a ye?
Perhaps its shorthand for year
Odd sort of mistake

Long distance flying
New Zealand whale watching soon?
Hopefully next ye

Creative process
Hard work when you

Bare wind tossed branches
Brown leaves clinging onto life
Twisting to pry lose

Snort, gargle, splutter
Snoring

when you laugh, the whole
world laughs with you; but when you
snore, you sleep alone

We all need a break
A lucky one would be nice
Just for change though

sad as a shovel
working at the frozen ground
on a cold dead day

i cut myself up
like an overweight goth girl
checking for feeling

halfway through the meal
i announce we are all doomed
there's no use trying

cute fluffly sqirrel
preferred to do the backstroke
to keep his nuts dry

local sex shop sign
a discete rear entrance
back up behind shop

if I could tell u
I thought you were so nifty
I would by Haiku

oh my cockatrice
i digest u chewing cud
your glance is deadly

I am sure if I
felt the way others did that
i'd be as they are

Half asian Drea'
Will not let me drive her car
When I

Help sick people with
Food so they will feel better
Rocket ship monkey

If snow were big rocks

Snowball fights would be deadly

And shovels would break

Sign on health centre:
"Family Planning Clinic -
please use back entrance."

makes her curious
then she swears him a liar
thinking she may want

a stroke of the pen
master of situation
carrying with hand

Wait for ages then
Just like waiting for a bus
Three all come at once
&
One by one they ask
Am I going to Oxford?
And would I take them?
&
Hotel Salsa ball
The City of Gleaming Spires
Old sandstone buildings
&
Sue cute and petit
Patricia cute, petit, French
Lina Columbian
&
Don

Trawling fish eagle
Gliding close to the surface
Skimming at high speed

Love and down under
Dee Plee Fab I knew it was you
Your style of Haiku
*
Billabongs tucker
Cassowary

a turn for the worse
what goes around comes around
it's blain yet again

a42ec
is my memory going ?
it's 2-2-2-6

such depth is wasted
as i carve my shallow craft
on the haiku sea

It's hard now, keeping
externals flexed, defensive.
I flow lovingly

Like golden honey,
Sinuous, sweet and sticky;
Bubbles rise and pop

and set free meanings.
I, liquifying amber,
Beam - burnished, golden.

Walls crumble, shadows
Flicker, and whipering ghosts
Exhale their last. Breathe.

Breathe passion. Breathe peace.
Sing your soul's song, story-like,
And weave your own wyrd.

Shallot's dark lady
Has fled her darkened tower.
The mirror? Uncracked.

A cassawary,
cornered, can disembowel
with one sharp foot claw

Forget spiders, snakes...
Keep cassawaries far from
Camper van corners.

just wanted to say
eat some food and be joyful
Happy Thanksgiving

coprophagia
that's a bit hard to swallow
once bitten twice shy

Coprophagia:
recycling innovation
keeps the sewers clean.

get with the movement
snapping off a sharp haiku
show us your fibre

by all means let go
if it makes you feel better
your form of release

coprophilia
dark poetic passages
deep colonic love

Love for a brown turd
Life

Turd fascination
A new sickness to deal with
Make you feel better?

Food go in my mouth.
Fart come out the rear below.
Turdie gotta go.

See the water rush.
See the mighty waterfall.
Down it now I go.

Little bird in tree
dropping do-do down on me.
Happy, happy day.

Me flush toilet now.
Turdie, bye-bye. Go away!
Turdie heaven time.

Haikus make me sick,
Make me want to pick my nose,
Eat those buggers quick.