Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 13 Days and 77384 Haiku later...

Hold me close to you
Pretend you like me she said
God but I want you!
-
That
Haiku # 35985, May 19, 2006 6:47 am ET
by Vinegar, cheese and olives

Rocket Man
Written by Bernie Taupin
Haikued by Crimson Mind


Packed my bags, pre-flight
Zero-hour, nine A.M.
I'm high as a kite


Miss the earth, my wife
It's lonely out here in space
Such a timeless flight


I think it's gonna
be a long-long time until
touch down bring me back


I'm not the man they
think I am at home, oh no
I'm a Rocket Man


Burning out his fuse
out here all alone, oh no
I'm a Rocket Man


Mars ain't the kind of
place to raise your kids; in fact
it is cold as hell


And there is no one
there to raise them if you did
oh no no no no


And all this science
I don't understand; Just my
job, five days a week


I'm a Rocket man
And I think its gonna be
such a long-long time...


-- inspired by William Shatner's dramatic reading
of Rocket Man at the 1978 Sci-Fi film awards


Haiku # 35984, May 18, 2006 8:03 pm ET
by Crimson Mind
FOX correspondent
As new Press Secretary?
Prepare for SnowJob.
Haiku # 35983, May 18, 2006 8:01 pm ET
by Lush
Random thoughts combine.
Driving is a good time to
think of haiku. Ding!
Haiku # 35982, May 18, 2006 1:25 pm ET
by MyGoodFriend
Those famous first words:
"Watson, come here, I want you!"
Double entendre.
Haiku # 35981, May 18, 2006 1:14 pm ET
by MyGoodFriend
You have to eat it
Not insert it up your arse
Some people are fruits
Haiku # 35980, May 18, 2006 6:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Replacement haiku
An ode to pesky robots
Makes unicorns fly
Haiku # 35979, May 18, 2006 1:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
A ripe pineapple
For anal stimulation?
Bad Ideas Jeans.
Haiku # 35978, May 17, 2006 9:44 pm ET
by Lush
when the clock strikes five
i will go and take a nap
i can feel it now
Haiku # 35977, May 17, 2006 3:30 pm ET
by andrew of east lansing, mi
RECENT-Flooding, volcano
erupt,Pacific earthquake. It is END TIMES!




Haiku # 35976, May 17, 2006 3:29 pm ET
by soothsayer
Death rode the DragonFly
Once and then 'twas over

for all.
Haiku # 35975, May 17, 2006 2:44 pm ET
by skudwiz of wisconsin
Bumble Bee's. Often times
can be very fuzzy. But
then I have seen them
without fuzz. So, are
THOSE really bumble
bee's, or some other
contrived notion of one
trying to confuse me?
Haiku # 35974, May 17, 2006 2:35 pm ET
by ZAKK
Delilah wore a purple
dress. She had a purple
hat to match. She went
to the movies to see a
movie version of her
favorite television
program. Boy was she
ever disappointed.
Haiku # 35973, May 17, 2006 2:33 pm ET
by ZAKK
Franklin's shoes came off.
No longer could he walk
the long walk to the candy
store. His mother came
into the room. Franklin
handed over his money to
her and she went for him.
When she got back she
handed him a jaw-breaker
and a candy necklace.
Haiku # 35972, May 17, 2006 2:31 pm ET
by ZAKK
Davey found a cricket.
The little bug bit him
on the hand. He then squashed the bug under
foot in a twisting motion.
Davey decided bugs
just weren't for him.
Haiku # 35971, May 17, 2006 2:29 pm ET
by ZAKK
Hey-buh, man-buh,
what;s-buh, happenin'-
buh? <---mush mouth
circa 1973
Haiku # 35970, May 17, 2006 2:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
uncomfortable
insecure with who I am
self-deprecating
Haiku # 35969, May 17, 2006 1:54 pm ET
by crimson mind
born in the fifties
and soon i'll be there again
life just goes around
Haiku # 35968, May 17, 2006 10:41 am ET
by ash
You cannot kid me
You
Haiku # 35967, May 17, 2006 9:34 am ET
by Dirty old man
The wood panelling
Blankets the walls of the den
Like in the sevn'ties
Haiku # 35966, May 17, 2006 8:43 am ET
by Janis
Delight to senses
My morning-scented garden
Lets free my spirit
Haiku # 35965, May 17, 2006 6:48 am ET
by Dirty old man
Soon man will invent
A way to get to the stars
He
Haiku # 35964, May 17, 2006 6:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It makes so you proud
Mans great ingenuity
To kill with such ease
Haiku # 35963, May 17, 2006 6:30 am ET
by World opinion
Old Chinese proverb
Man with hole in his pocket
Feel cocky all day
Haiku # 35962, May 17, 2006 6:26 am ET
by World opinion
Cursing the hard rain
Blown all the blossom again
Starting to turn brown
Haiku # 35961, May 17, 2006 6:07 am ET
by Dirty old man
Melancholia
In the time of cholera
Diarrheal eve
Haiku # 35960, May 16, 2006 8:10 pm ET
by Lush
Inner monologue
Keeps me sane, but must take care
Not to speak aloud.
Haiku # 35959, May 16, 2006 1:16 pm ET
by Crimson Mind
The golden colours
An autumn mountain forest,
Chuck Norris' beard
Haiku # 35958, May 16, 2006 11:37 am ET
by Speaky of Ireland
It was jollies, but
all are disgusted with us.
Truth: you bore me now.
Haiku # 35957, May 16, 2006 11:34 am ET
by MyGoodFriend
It was jollies, but
all are disgusted with us.
Truth: you more me now.
Haiku # 35956, May 16, 2006 11:34 am ET
by MyGoodFriend
Actually, I'm
taken. Still thought of it.
Thank you anyway.
Haiku # 35955, May 16, 2006 11:31 am ET
by MyGoodFriend
dying roses
The wilting crimson
flowers rise up
and kill the wind.
Haiku # 35954, May 16, 2006 10:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Jed was a poor man.
He smoked the canned
tobacco.
He rolled leaves of maple
and ate succulents and
root-barbs.
His visage was clean
and he never shook.
Life's mysteries are often
looks and never what
is buried from time to
time.
Haiku # 35953, May 16, 2006 10:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We spoke of Genghis Khan
and your friend
over cups of tea
and summer heat
The cool breeze
unwrapped
your cheap, flowery dress
spilling lust on the
streets of New York City
Lips, turgid with unspoken
secrets
caressed tetracycline
teeth
as you smiled
and refused the flowers
I almost bought on
Houston Street
Haiku # 35952, May 16, 2006 10:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dead fly flutters in gravy,
swim for your life oh bug!
Quicksand mashed potato.
Haiku # 35951, May 16, 2006 10:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Growing peony
The budding crimson flowers
Bow low in the wind
Haiku # 35950, May 16, 2006 10:04 am ET
by Janis
The look in her eyes
Brush of her body on mine
My arm around her
*
Moving together
In time to the slow rhythm
A controlled passion
*
On the very edge
Tango is life
Haiku # 35949, May 16, 2006 6:47 am ET
by William Nippress
The passion that is
To dance tango with Lorna
Is like life
Haiku # 35948, May 16, 2006 6:38 am ET
by William Nippress
The lovely Lorna
Skin like alabaster
A Goddess Body
*
Dances like a dream
An easy grace among us
Laughter like a song
Haiku # 35947, May 16, 2006 6:31 am ET
by William Nippress
Spring like a soft song
Silently crept up the trees
Filling eyes with sound
Haiku # 35946, May 16, 2006 6:27 am ET
by William Nippress
Hands up all those who
Think it was a huge mistake
To invade Iraq?
-
Now hands up all those
Who called me names three years ago?
What? No hands up now.
_

You gutless lot of *****
No one admitting they were wrong
Well I told you so
Haiku # 35945, May 16, 2006 6:22 am ET
by I told you so, I told you so!
You were just a foil
Way to get people thinking
You took it to heart
-
Which worked rather well
I hope some of your stupid
Countrymen may? Think?
-
Nice sparring with you
And good luck with the dating
It
Haiku # 35944, May 16, 2006 6:11 am ET
by World opinion
Find one suitable
Only when you stop looking
That
Haiku # 35943, May 16, 2006 5:58 am ET
by World opinion on dating
The dater's lament:
"All the good ones are taken!"
I beg to differ.
Haiku # 35942, May 15, 2006 8:08 pm ET
by MyGoodFriend
Up to the border,
you are an "us". Just beyond,
and you are a "them".
Haiku # 35941, May 15, 2006 7:18 pm ET
by MyGoodFriend
"Late Spring Snow In May:
Chestnut not Cherry Blossum"
English songs Thrush sings
Haiku # 35940, May 15, 2006 3:09 pm ET
by Robert Burrell Donkin of England
Hearts will never be
practical until they are
made unbreakable.
Haiku # 35939, May 15, 2006 2:27 pm ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Vomit ends migraine.
It's biodegradable:
undigested corn.
Haiku # 35938, May 15, 2006 1:58 pm ET
by MyGoodFriend
I'm a knucklehead.
To bed too late brings migraine.
Horray for these pills!
Haiku # 35937, May 15, 2006 1:57 pm ET
by MyGoodFriend
A life of errands
Two respites, panging longings
for her; for Paris
Haiku # 35936, May 15, 2006 11:33 am ET
by Brady of Toronto
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