Velma and Shaggy
Both want to do the nasty
But will Scooby do?

For a whole week now
Nina Simone's been singin'
do i need prozac?

damn this computer
i know it plans to kill me
i hear it thinking

I'm so new at this
what the hell is a haiku?
how do you spell it?

Has anybody
figured out yet to scroll
from the bottom up?

One Two Three Four Five
Six Seven Eight Nine Ten E-
Leven Twelve Thirteen

Madonna Mama
Your peony image takes
My breath away (GASP!!!)

Dr. Hacker asks:
Did you use fine or coarse grade?
By hand or machine?

Have nothing to do?
Why not make a bad haiku
Some fool may love you!

MMMMMMM a whisp of the hottest !!
Laying in satin and hot nylon lycra !
Hooo yesss Let it be next to me !

All things considered
...and your comments were welcomed
I chose sandpaper

One Two Three Four Five
One Two Three Four Five Six Seven
One Two Three Four Five

the last peony
barren of blossoms wavers
in the breeze at dusk

Prolific Haik You
Prefers scatalogical
Images, it seems.

Jason, please tell us:
Is your boil all better now?
Which solution worked?

Be careful, Haik You.
What goes around, comes around.
Would YOU like a boil?

Images of pus
Coming from your stanky butt
Now we're on a roll!

Hot, hurtful pocket
Warm compresses help, but I
Suggest you lance it.

Oh sore, painful boil
It's very painful to sit
Topical cream, please?

Most TV sucks, but
"Who's Line Is It Anyway?"
Really makes me laugh

The Berenstain Bears
Beat Nickelodeon's trash
For teaching values

Seven-year-old Sarah
Says "You're not the boss of me"
Delusions of youth

Good respirations
My lungs are clear and open
No breathing tubes, please!

Bush is a killer
Gore is a nasty landlord
Hmmm... Gore gets my vote.

Syllables easy
Create unique meaning hard
I prefer easy.

Madonna Mama--
Such disgusting imagery
Now, that's more like it!

Ingmar Bergman flicks
Put me right to f***ing sleep
--Swedish lullabye?

foul malignancy
metastatic disaster
organ titanic

hack up a big smurf
respiratory therapy
noble profession

With all due respect,
I feel compelled to declare
"You're missing the point"

Hate to tell you, but
Most of your haikus are not
Really all that bad

purring warmly low
exquisite accessory
personal heater

bloody english wags
thinking they are so clever
supercilious hags

Al Gore is My Man
McCain is Merely Third Rate
to Second Rate Bush

I invented the
Internet. Really, I did!
Mine, I say, all mine!

stayin' up late at night
I see no stars in the sky
no hope in my heart

sex in a bucket
fun for the fly and the fish
i am an addict

i am the whore's friend
she eats me alive like stew
and i will rejoice

squeegee my buttocks
burn my skin with sex and ash
girl is a pyro

incarcerated
prisoner of the bottom line
fiscal servitude

sputum phlem and snot
use a tube to suck it out
it's fabulous work

Tomorrow he comes
Back to where I am living
Wonder if he'll call

Sorry about that
Don't know what came over me!
I meant no offense

I censored myself
Out of respect for you all
(buncha f***ing prudes!)

I know...my haiku's
All over the f***ing place
--Schizophrenia?

Am I a pervert?
I'd like to watch Britney Spears
Eat a banana

I'm here to waste time
And for some entertainment
And not "for art's sake"

I'm bored with this site
The haiku here have become
Way too serious

Here's an idea --
"Let's kill all the lawyers," then
Bill them for our time!

Are you ill, my friend?
What could make one want to sniff
Scum between ones toes?