Try this chat up line
Do you have English in you? (No)
Great would you like some?
(Substitute your own nationality)

my drunken vomit
remains on the bedroom floor
till you clean it up

confused Dan Quayle goes
Cheney hunting, bags Secret
Service man instead

Why pay for dog food?
Just let him scavenge behind
abortion clinics.

The haiku 'round here
Has been way too good lately
Bring quality down

A co-worker slumps
his stack of letter useless
PC Load A4

He sits at our side
Eternally awaiting
Time passing him by

Take comfort from life
We

a side of human
looks quite like a side of beef
except for the arm

ephemeral light
flickering behind his eyes
soon it will be gone

small vee pressed in mud
a faint arrangement of leaves
it leads to water

pink earthworms pushing
up between the roots and dirt
blind straining toward light

Danced with my lady
Awkward at first but felt my
Rhythm returning

At Salsa last night
I was so stiff, not rhythmic
Not danced for two weeks

Searching surroundings
A house for Fabulosa
Last piece of jigsaw?

A space to live in
Uncompromised promises
A place to renew

To dream of living
A view to inspiration
This new sanctuary

All hail to great Ash
As ever straight to the point
How do you do it?

apostasy now
hanafi is hanafi
don't hound that afghan

it's off the planet
suddenly the sun gets mooned
totally eclipsed

Pretty nifty site,
of the truly cringeworthy.
Worst. Haiku. Evar!

Angry co-worker:
he asks "PC Load Letter?
the fsck does that mean?!"

In my cubicle,
most precious thing in my life.
Shiny red stapler...

From my old office,
I could look outside and see
merry squirrels at play.

I.T. dark ages,
trying to write a DOS batch file.
Abort, retry, fail...

While using Windows
I tried to change the font size.
The system has crashed.

In sov'iet Russia
Really bad haiku writes you!
Sorry about that! :P

'twas cynicism
or rampant drug ingestion
no further haiku

Return to childhood
and jab with your yellow straws
the juice box cometh

Drowning twenty feet
from shore; Nixon throws me just
fifteen-foot of rope.

Til work do us part.
When my death was predicted
He broke the contract

life is like the luge
you get to go downhill fast
and then it's finished

You must obey me
Resistance is futile earthlings
Your world is ours now

No more searching now
This find is ours to keep
Our souls journeys end

Once upon a time
A long light lifetime ago
we grew together
*
Time, tide, suffering
Divided our entwined souls
Let us learn apart
*
Seeing deep we teach
each other, share our learning
re-entwining souls
*
Reunited, joined
We feel deep recognition
Welcome each back home

Rested healed alive
Nurtured by enriching love
Joyful I awoke

Kindred souls entwined
Drawn, soaring ever upwards
Shackles broken free

I held you last night
Through your tears of sad sorrow
For what was denied
*
The promise broken
Though the pains not mine tears form
Draining yours away

I would that you could
See you through my eyes held soft
Such love you would feel

Light shines in her eyes
Radiant beauty within
So long held locked

To quench this hot flame
Then let me plunge my hose deep
The vessel to fill
*
The essence of life
This water salted from me
The seed of mankind

This woman of charms
Coyly she glances at me
Setting me on fire

Circling the earth
Wonder if I will return
Look up and wave me

Mutual pleasure gifts
Softly I trace her body
Exciting us both

His words transformed
Now there

License my roving hands, and
let them go before, behind,
between, above, below

Exquisite flower
Softly I hold her legs high
Spread her lips open
*
Gasps of excitement
I examine the soft flesh
Tenderly touch her

Casting the soft breeze
Our mother whispers our names
Come to me children

Sanity returns
Thanks Mount Madonna mama
You have saved us all

My haiku lick
bouncing off the ceiling
Someone firing rounds in distance

Gosh, have not tried that
philly steak in ages
Best at Steves (> of New Queen Ln and Conrad)

It always were : us against them
But who are we and who are them
An't fully understood
*
Big shouters
I scream learning me dog
To fetch me the newspapers