the wisdom of age
is youthful stupidity
warped by slow motion

this life is a yawn
first youthful vigour deserts
then you die slowly

Green Bay FudgePackers
And the Pittsburgh Butt Pirates
Calgary Flamers

This humidity
Has volumized my ass hair
Into a bouffant

Sharp analysis
Of a stabbing anal cyst
For the annals, sis

...then would you believe
he's off and haunting the Chief...
Control just goes on...

Agent 86
CONTROL's top spy. KAOS foe.
Maxwell Smart is dead.


-- dedicated to Actor Don Adams who died on September 25, 2005.
"I asked you not to tell me that"

Saturday, had fun
lost O'Hare, cheated toll and
back in Californ'

Friday, Yard sales with
Aunt, Sears Tower, Chrome bean, rode
Loop and cookie dough

Thursday, with Uncle
spiked cars, funeral home golf,
Volo cars, Sox lose

Wednesday, Sand dune ride
Notre Dame, I-80 mess,
sweet home Chicago

Tuesday, Battle Creek,
Cereal City, Gilmore
cars and Air Zoo planes

Monday, Detroit, Ford
Museum/Plant, Tiger scares
gnome, Marvin's Machines

Sunday, Cleveland rocks
Indians win big, fine church
folks Golden Corral

Conclusory screed
Boring illusory need
Pray, who should we feed?

Those who long to teach
Might seek another forum:
SoundHaiku dot com

Topical haiku
Drafted as to enlighten
Miss the point by far

Tattoo of a butt
With a butt tattoo on it
Applied to my butt

Callipygian
Possessed of shapely buttocks
Take that, Mix-A-Lot

Bush, a man of word
People stealing what

No one gets it right
Kanye West is ignorant
poor white people died
just as poor black people did
george bush hates us all

tessellated tiles
hard to look at when sozzled
as it is to say

This fortified wine
Has rendered my tongue purple
Like the exposed head

Crepuscular fiend
Denizen of the twilight
Flashing lame tourists

Its been twelve years Kate
Your new single really is
"King of the Mountain"

you know its bad
when haiku writing on-line
is entertainment

Soil the monarchy
Dial seven for regicide
Six feet beneath me

Creativity
Oh, tempestuous mistress
She left me bereft

Drinking your wine now
It goes down smooth mmm
Sue me bi o tch

He said to me hey
I said hay is for horses
not going back there soon

N.O. cops looting
Generator for cold beers
They are heroes all

Coprophagia
Savory fecal delight
Essen mein sheisse!

My butt itches bad
Leave it alone, it may spread
Preparation H!

oh learned sensai
it all worked out in the wash
my machine came clean

It always at least
three of us; you me and the
stomach monsters...Rawrg.

Feel my pulse vanish
Caress my open thorax
Eat my antennae

Airborne with no craft
Concoction floods the mainline
I mock gravity

Whiskey and cola
Impoverished lad's speedball
Gimme smack and coke

he is not violent man
but ho was ten dollars short
she eats through straw now

What is a poet?
"All balls, no cock." True, Q-Tip.
A Tribe Called Quest rules.

i think you're so hot
my loins get all a quiver
lets go to the mall

Genocide is fun
If I could be the PM
I'd kill all the welsh

Things that are sucky
Japanese Poetry
Road Pizza Ducky

honorable path
holding oneself to account
improves bad haiku

One two three four five...
See? I can too count! So there!
'ku by the numbers?

not only are these
'poets' semi-literate:
they can't even count

Words with no context
Codswallop and balderdash
This haiku doth blow

Indescribably
vicious and pernicious were
the smell of his socks.

Champagne christenings
Velvet ribbons shorn in two
You people are dicks

Dash nomenclature
Illusion of precision
Prefer feast of fists