If you`d only AIM
We could argue in real time
But with, like, typing.

brother schmuther :P
yes, :P is a syllable
wash this, bing-bong head

Ah, I see you now.
Naked as the day you birthed.
...What the fuck is *that*??

You are my brother.
And you do know I love you.
But please. You must wash.

make way for the me
in all my naked splendour
yes you, Scrunty H

This page is ''bad.asp''
I`d laugh if I were a geek.
But I`m not, of course.

Why am I so fond
Of music which is mainly
honking and bleeping?

Your kiss is lethal.
That beard chafes my soft girl face.
Thank god for savlon.

Girls: don`t wear makeup.
It`s expensive and takes time.
Find some ugly friends.

You draw the thing here
Then make it move over there.
Buh, technology.

Cease your beer drinking,
It makes you hyperactive.
Sit in this box here.

Five dollars for that??
Some steamed milk and espresso?
No way, Starbucks dude!

Coffee, sugar, and
coconut milk over ice
A Thai iced coffee!

my my my my my
dee ba dee dooseelucy
king kong koeysunk toey

my my my my my
dee ba dee dooseelucy
king kong koeysunk toey

seven year battle
bureaucracy falls over
kiss my arse, losers !

sweating profusely
relative humidity
rather absolute

She lies that shes fine
pre-suicidal anguish
already I grieve

i wouldn''t blame you
if you wrote your congressman
called him an asshole

the velvet Quee thinks
am i not a man who cares
you are not a man!

Full Tornado Kick
My man can do one, I can''t
Talented bastard!

a light, a beacon
illuminates all behind
i love lighting farts

serendipity
arbitrary chemical
hugs those receptors

Oh Red Simitar
Penetrate The Glistened Brush;
Announce Your Presence

Visionary Words
Ne''r Aproach The Vast Archives
Of Bad Haiku Land

Beer Number One
Shock my Newly Divorced Soul
Shake off The Cobwebs

Beer Number Two
Quickly Follow Number One
Tingle My Nostrils

Beer Number Three,
Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Let
Me Not Remember

Beer Number Nine

instead of love---grunts
instead of caresses----howls
just count your blessings

stock market bubble
responding to gravity
pulls down my nasdaqs

Sweat falls like rain,
I approach her,
My mouth won''t open.

Outdoor theatre
Sitting, bombed with bat-poo
Art reflects life again...

godly providence
ceramic saxaphone plays
that noted refrain

sitting in the morgue
surrounded by the corpses
cadaverama

I see the sun,
it shines in my face,
how i wish i was in a shaded
place.

bla bla bla bla la
check out my new cd burn
er bla bla bla bla

I tried to bind them
Wishful thinking child I was
Alas, they escaped

dark cloud above my head
every bridge crossed
another nail in my bed

My heart is broken
No bunny slippers for me
My feet are too big

total silence comes
little silicone lawyers
judge judy frees us

I wish I could fly
High up in the sky but I
Can't You can I can''t

Does anyone know
If a Space Pen really works
Upside down in space?

Hark, I have risen
Like Lazarus from the grave
Okay, not "like" like

they call me dick ears
but i speak the holy truth
broccoli is king

they call me dick ears
but i speak the holy truth
broccoli is king

bonfire is primo
it''s haiku with attitude
but where is kenneth

some haiku is so
bad that Kevorkian should
turn the hose on it

lukewarm ankle-deep
ocean where we throw our nets
infested with turds

internet junkie
the telephone my pipeline
the keys my surfboard

I''m the roasted pig
let this bed be the platter
you are the apple

privileged child asked
"was expensive school worth while?"
answers "i think not"