Fundamentalist
On page one, its only a
mater of time bomb

Be gentle with the
ham Mellie it will respond
to a soft touch

was up all night now
slappin' ham on me sammich
wild westerly wind

I am a gay horse
Colostemy bags await
How embarassing

Time to go running
Blisters and sweat await me
New running shoes suck

Trying to square the
Circle I was taught to be
cautious on the square

My boss treats my like
a mushroom, keeps me in the
dark, feeds me bull shit

Trees fall in the woods
The sound of one-hand clapping
I hate that bull crap

I check my wallet
A hooker now approaches
Time to spend some cash

A tidal wave comes
In the distance Mt. Fuji
Bad Haiku's background

Haiku bring laughter
Sexually Frustrated
I dig your haiku

grows weed in his fridge
absolutely ingenious
good quality too

STDs are cool
swelling red lumps on my cock
the price of pimping

i don't wear condoms
because i'm a catholic
i hope i get aids

beautiful headache
i am actually relieved
i don't have to think

here is a warning
if i got herpes from you
i'll cut off your tits

get out of my bed
you took advantage of me
i have tought you well

brutal hangover
after that much alcohol
shouldn't i be dead

twelves shots of yager
i wake up naked in bed
where the hell am i

The cave of darkness
The sun will never shine here
A good place to crap

moon's been up all night
the sun's rising in the east
where else could it rise?

eerie still dawning
flat silver grey ocean waits
quietly for blue

silver moonlight gone
streaks of light on horizon
running feet slap sand

a dozen oysters
consumed with tobasco sauce
every one a hit

A bell sounds my dog
Salivates. Here

Out of sight, out of
Mind, translates. Invisible
Idiot, how true!

Its an out of mind
and body experience,
so nobody minds

Birthdays are good for
You, because the more you have
the longer you live

The line is thread-like
between the boat and the shore
winds blow out to sea

They tell me if I
could extract the gold from sea
water I

Who the hell likes raw
Oysters, tastes like gritty sea
Water, no thank you

Cooking Chinese food
First thing in the morning its
bit too rich for me

Fresh coffee just made
God it tastes good, my wake up.
Ready for the day

Interesting! Grass
bends with the wind right to left
Clouds blown left to right

Twenty billion fly

The stars, so distant
Time and space lie between us
Star Trek is for dorks

Anti-semitic?
You are one hateful little
White trash scumbag fool

Thoughts that can change life
Truth told by wise men of old
I like big booties

Thirty thousand now
Question we must ask ourselves
Do we have a life?

The waterfall brings peace
My soul becomes one with it
Now I have to pee

Puzzles that haunt man
Mysteries remain unknown
Why do hippies suck?

Sexy lady kiss
Tastes so good on my soft lips
Better than my dog

The fleas bite me now
Their bites irritate my skin
I should bath far more

The trees will all die
Their lives pass without notice
I dont care at all

I enjoy haiku
I enjoy Vanilla Ice
I enjoy cheap whores

The flexible man!
Needs no one and gives nothing
He fellates himself

The flies swarm and eat
The poop becomes their dinner
Flies are idiots

Where are you going?
I said where are you going?!
McDonalds, huh? Yuck.

What's the deal with that?
Really, I dont have a clue
Tell me now Seinfeld

Once I dreamt of her
Her kisses tasted like cloth
I kissed my pillow

time for bar hopping
back-alley blowjobs await
see ya tomorrow

i write hallmark cards:
you're that much closer to death
happy birthday mom