to be jung once more
could that make me less a freud ?
back on the couch please

if you insist on
psychological warfare
Just call me Sigmund

Samson took Rogaine
Hercules shot steroids
Jackie Chan''s got class

style don''t forget it
if you ain''t got it go home
such a hollow fuck

One man''s bad haiku
is not necessarily
anything to read.

Send the kid back home
This is a fucking disgrace
He belongs with DAD

Look at the Kitty
Rub it and it feels sooooooo nice
Mmmmmmm sexy young thing

Is this list closing?
What the hell is that about?
Hey Janis! What''s up?

Rabbit looks both ways
Everything''s cool, cross the road
Wheel well roadburger

I just found this list
And now they say it''s closing?
Story of my life.

THE BOX SAID,
WIN 95 OR BETTER.
SO I BOUGHT A MAC.

Sky drops pelt my head
Pitter patter plop kersploosh
Fix the roof you jerk!

Spent the whole morning
Shoveling old lady''s walk
She gives me the bird!

Fucking up a Hai-
-Ku is embarassing, DAMN!
titty turtle rump!

Where is the Newbridge?!?!
How much frenchtoast do you want?
NEVERMIND! Curl up tight.

Quiero un hombre
Con cartera grande y
Boca cerrada

cold cold cold cold cold
winter, canada, cold, bad
bad bad bad bad bad

cold cold cold cold cold
winter, canada, cold, bad
bad bad bad bad bad

quiero mujer
con tetas muy grande
y chucha dulce

Endlessly you scroll
Will you find the latest post?
We need therapy!

Dog piss on carpet
No more shall I deal with this
Out damned spot I say!

What is a "lezzer"
O baldheaded Messr?And
May I have one too?

I shout at the screen
lady, run for it! you''ll drown!
Peter North prepares

california time
traffic sounds through crooked walls
impossible sky

naming my demons
I chased them away from here
temporarily

Wind blows, air stinks,
Nasal passages blocked up,
TV answers all needs,

Somebody gets my thanks
You''ve broken the law today
It arrived just fine

when my back fucks up
i sounds like i"m having sex
whenever i move

underneath facades
close to the epicentre
some truths still exist

The last one was mine
And yes I do have a chip
Upon my shoulder

It''s a modern myth
That men are unable to
Give cunnilingus

I wonder more that
Men want sex with bald-headed
Flat-chested lezzers

Why do some men think
Lesbians want sex with them?
Smegma is so eww!

The inside of my
Thighs kind of smell like mushrooms
From recent contact.

I had a dog with
a funny name. Would you like
to hear it? Would you?

It never snows in
Little Rock, it only will
Piss nasty rain down

Nobody reads this
maybe they come by and look
I can not blame them

Texas navy beans,
A fruit that makes corn bread complete.
Spoonful and a smile.

Belly button kiss
Is what pushes my buttons
Lay back and cum quick

IRONY

The more intensely
you want it, the less chance you
have of getting it.

I try to think of
something intelligent to
say. I have no luck.

I see the monsters.
An unshared reality
forces me to scream.

Shagmeister ha ha!
mail you a joint in your dreams
the shit resides here

tears on my pillow
dark sorrow strains my bowels
hari-kari songs

vicki has weird toes
they''re blue and yellow and green
they freak me out, lots!

I drink the water
But look something is floating
Who backwashed in this

the sound of lovin''
keeps me awake on the couch
gramma is too loud

Walls start to close in
Squeezing me out to face life
Like a rigid turd

In my underwear
I see bitter cold outside
I love my heater

A haiku bender
Comes from this cabin fever
God please help us all