I had a dog with
a funny name. Would you like
to hear it? Would you?

It never snows in
Little Rock, it only will
Piss nasty rain down

Nobody reads this
maybe they come by and look
I can not blame them

Texas navy beans,
A fruit that makes corn bread complete.
Spoonful and a smile.

Belly button kiss
Is what pushes my buttons
Lay back and cum quick

IRONY

The more intensely
you want it, the less chance you
have of getting it.

I try to think of
something intelligent to
say. I have no luck.

I see the monsters.
An unshared reality
forces me to scream.

Shagmeister ha ha!
mail you a joint in your dreams
the shit resides here

tears on my pillow
dark sorrow strains my bowels
hari-kari songs

vicki has weird toes
they''re blue and yellow and green
they freak me out, lots!

I drink the water
But look something is floating
Who backwashed in this

the sound of lovin''
keeps me awake on the couch
gramma is too loud

Walls start to close in
Squeezing me out to face life
Like a rigid turd

In my underwear
I see bitter cold outside
I love my heater

A haiku bender
Comes from this cabin fever
God please help us all

Nipples stand erect
Trying to break from their shirts
I just watch and wait

Wicked wicked girls
They show me their stuff for free
I''m not complaining

Somebody help me
Stuck indoors from the snow storm
Mail me a joint

Tree lines fade away
The Great Plains are seen ahead
God this land is dull

I met this one girl
She gave me some body paints
I am now Master

Earrings dangling
Swaying back and forth at night
Sadness fills the air

Hot sex on Sunday
Strawberry cheesecake ice cream
Oooh am I hungry!!!

A koala bear
Hanging from a tree sleeping
Dreams of other lands

what I''d like to see:
a giant german shepard
eating a monkey

your mom looked real good
I said "Hi Mrs. Hot Bitch!"
your dad strangled me

paycheck spent on snacks
afternoons of self abuse
oliver''s a jinx

seven haitian whores
a ninety dollar phone bill
my wife is puzzled

i am perma fryed
I took a tab of acid
Now I''m all strung out

i am perma fryed
I took a tab of acid
Now I''m all strung out

genitalia
are all they can talk about
repetitively

my omnipotence
universally awesome
never self conscious

lameness is the key
it flows freely for a cause
i hate gothic chicks

white make-up dark hair
black crushed velvet dressed to scare
obscure dumb nicknames

i love to be real
find your own reality
and write bad haiku

Beastiality
is fun too. You should all try
fucking a kitten.

Pedophiles are cool.
Don`t knock it `till you try it:
hot sex with children.

Off my chest, at last!
Not embarrassed anymore,
now, I can move on.

My confessions are
not of my own guilt, but of
a bold ignorance.

Youth is all about
being too naive to know
what you will regret.

I saw a kitten
suck another kitten''s dick,
trying to get milk.

I didn`t know the
significance then. At least
he didn''t rape me.

Naked, breastless girl,
playing in the bushes with
her horney cousin.

To the first-grader,
masturbation was never
a sexual thing.

Children frolic in
innocent wonder and give
each other blow jobs.

the rising sun sets
coconuts float west on
the Japanese tide

This hotel room sucks!
I''m stuck in here from the snow!
I''M FREAKING OUT MAN!!!

Sitting in my Room
I come up with this weird shit.
That''s prison for ya!

My dog sleeps a lot
Why, then does he eat so much?
Dreaming is hard work!

This Haiku sucks bad
maybe thats why they call it
Bad Haiku , Dot Com???

I like to watch a
cool cartoon named pokemon
it makes me happy

Maybe Im too Old?
I''m only 69 you know
thats not too old, right??